YOU DUMBASS I LOVE YOU

Why didn't you send me a futureme for your 14th birthday? I went online right after that delicious, delicious seafood just to see what past 2011 me said and nothing! All I got was some check your credit and my heart broke! Well right now I'm listening to little red corvette and (kind of) doing the SAT while watching 30 Rock. Sigh, our dreams and hopes for Shermany totally shitted on us. What a douche! Douche douche doucheeee! Remember the puns? Like Shermany your warfare is no "maritime" for me! I forgot most of them. Remember being all excited and folding 400 effing stars for him? And taking all that candy and making a goodie bag? And how the day before you went running for an hour which was something you did voluntarily for probably the first time in your life so you could lose weight? AND THEN HE CANCELLED BECAUSE HE WAS MAMA FEARING DUMBASS BUT IT'S OKAY WE DIDN'T REALLY HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM MORE LIKE REBOUND RICH BOY but i'm still really sad Okay this is not about him this is a birthday wish! Look happy birthday darling! You're 15 oh goodness you are so, so old. Remember by 15 we wanted to be 170 tall and have gorgeous hair and be like 45 kg and there was this rich summer fling who bought us necklaces and bracelets and invited us to rich cookie making parties with the other rich people? Or that I'll be internet famous or talent spotted to be a model? But hey it doesn't matter because you're the top trending topic int he twitter feed of my heart always. And I really love you and I know a lot has changed and Jiets isn't there anymore and living up the college life and you may or may not be in a really stupid math class. I was really really mad at past me for effing that up (see how hard i'm trying to keep vulgarities out of this?) but I think future jojogorgeous is excelling and showing all them Charter people up! I know everyone places so much shit on your shoulders and yima keeps wanting you to lose weight so EFF THEM You can go to art school even though you suck at right brained activities if you want. But I know you don't want to you wanna go work at Wall Street and marry someone rich so I put faith in you darling. And you know what? I know that I want to lose weight but just keep concentrating and exercising and we can lose wiehgt when we're 18 and fully grown. Don't gorge on milk all that time because you and I both know our tummies are a little effed up. And besides you're only 49 kg and no matter what anyone says that's a mother healthy weight for a 158 girl. Just keep exercising and grow taller. Um, it doesn't matter if you have no friends or everyone looks down on you. Just as long as your GPA is up and you concentrate on the SAT everything else can go shit themselves. Okay that was total bs because I can't do that but I really want you to know that I'm behind you so learn from me and past me. Also take good care of your eyes. Well actually shit! This is gonna be sent after freshman year so everything will be done and over better send this earlier. Okay well than Past you wishes you an early birthday! JUST ROCK THAT MATH CLASS AND NOT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE! Oh yeah happy belated halloween. you probably didn't go trick or treating but it's fine. I love you. I loooove you. I looovee youu. Oh yeah remember that guy we dreamt of 7 days consecutively? He had gorgeous hair! And yes it was creepy because we didn't have a crush on him or was close friends but hey he was really ncie funny and had gorgeous hair.