feeling...

Peaceful right?

feeling... sharp. dangerous. full of attitude. which, I guess, is just what a girl about to go to college ought to feel like. When you, future Anna, get this, it'll be ten years from now, and the passport that you got today will have expired. How was going to school in another country? Was it far enough away from your parents? What prompted past-you to write this (besides the fact that the trusty sketchbook/journal has gone missing) is the fact that, among all of the suitcases you were looking for in the attic today, you also found a hefty dose of family history. History from 1840. A picture of the family goat. Hand drawn sketches of the cottage. Letters back and forth between two feuding families. One family claims its daughter was starved to death whilst visiting the other. The other family is outraged because of a false arrest upon an unfounded accusation of THEIR daughter being a member of a house of prostitution. All insults and accusations in flowery, minute, faint 1840's penmanship, of course. I don't even know what the point of this email is. I just think it's weird that on the eve of your departure to distance yourself from your family, just when you're feeling incredibly independent, the attic delivers. Now, past-you wants to stay connected, be Bess's great great great great granddaughter, add her own tale to the many family stories. Past-you wants to stay in the attic forever, reading the family history. But I guess that's why college is good. So you can get the hell out of that attic and this house and make your own history. Go on.

Epilogue

3 days later

Ten years ago, I was a senior in high school aching to go to college as far away from home as possible. I wanted to see other countries and make...

Oitrses own ym. I,t iedt mhoe felt ehvigyrten to ok tub hatt as elpnnda to aws i — luofhep i eavle fetl nad lenumonmat enve. Somtniheg no kiel epngnio wsa feuurt swing my up em boerfe. .
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Dan vlise ouy pdwie wnod elcso nac wonk i’st ryazc aywa uuerft acn ht?aw be het who uro aiag,n ubt emmisetso. Teh lterte hsa ndreeal net isx 2020 ytetpr utboa i snotmh asw aneyon elwl, htsi devil sreay tafre that h,tat ttnweri llwe sonwk tbu ghtrohu lnoess who oag obeerf. Cenacr hwit swa osedinadg nad — i my hrtebor.
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Ehngou etrhe to osamlt t’saht ays, rthgi. Tiwh neutellvay i imh hmoce to ni fwe be dna with egcolle areys ethn iceexeernp, ehpl guohht the reenv eht lpictay treaf gto off i iantkg a vnee dne shfinide. Hrnoeta ni ot veen i’d srmeomie, ro ecgeoll ag-eratyeo-n eb ot og otg make eb ro ,nuyroct ylicpta while vedttesdaa yppha dotl i flse fi lleogce, i ttah my ogleelc vrnee identtnag. Ot ele-lpcoeohg dorpecma ubt the is osls of sols of umprhsaoo brhoter eosm onwk onw teh nonhgti i ym ttah.
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At dlo 81 eonrsp form ckba tfriefedn sotiesmme i adn fels yplcometle leki eyar i flee rhe my kloo a. Isxiegnt preallla hre destiuo i in a agnemii ubt eimt of rin,evues etnh eorehsmwe. Siht gntwnai efli eettrl aayw rhe dan in get rhtee artst that to aobtu inirgtw dan e’shs rlodw, sitigtn. Adn rtb’hsreo smcui glnakti nfdseri rfo wond jstu heoegtrt adn eey’trh animkg nad akswl niggo hte nda eawnigrdn adn rfloo on nda nad onti own oskocie hten nad ittgnis ,atr om,or uaglihng erh hes’s tuoab. Llwi noyl on atht nwo, tyh’ere ot ot fo eth watn kiel in teghreot oen edrmas smeimeor ilef fo ot oerth ees nte htan adn ncdalei and pgdnisne tmrteas lilw wlil rmeo ot eth noe neliizgar tmhe go utoba yra,es eno ngtliak htta oatub ot slti,hg whta eb noge htey dhol atgnkil yad ti ritgh temi hwo ton ady onhtnrer oklo hvea neon teh. He wsa ym nrfied setb.

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