feeling...

Peaceful right?

feeling... sharp. dangerous. full of attitude. which, I guess, is just what a girl about to go to college ought to feel like. When you, future Anna, get this, it'll be ten years from now, and the passport that you got today will have expired. How was going to school in another country? Was it far enough away from your parents? What prompted past-you to write this (besides the fact that the trusty sketchbook/journal has gone missing) is the fact that, among all of the suitcases you were looking for in the attic today, you also found a hefty dose of family history. History from 1840. A picture of the family goat. Hand drawn sketches of the cottage. Letters back and forth between two feuding families. One family claims its daughter was starved to death whilst visiting the other. The other family is outraged because of a false arrest upon an unfounded accusation of THEIR daughter being a member of a house of prostitution. All insults and accusations in flowery, minute, faint 1840's penmanship, of course. I don't even know what the point of this email is. I just think it's weird that on the eve of your departure to distance yourself from your family, just when you're feeling incredibly independent, the attic delivers. Now, past-you wants to stay connected, be Bess's great great great great granddaughter, add her own tale to the many family stories. Past-you wants to stay in the attic forever, reading the family history. But I guess that's why college is good. So you can get the hell out of that attic and this house and make your own history. Go on.

Epilogue

3 days later

Ten years ago, I was a senior in high school aching to go to college as far away from home as possible. I wanted to see other countries and make...

Trosesi onw my. To atth eveal npnlaed dna i mheo mnnmaoeult i but tlef fetl ko itde it, — sa ot enev ehiyerngvt swa hoeufpl. Nsigw turfeu no em klei msghtieon oeferb up swa npginoe ym. .
.
Rutuef sleoc cna eemstmois cna eb owdn wta?h uyo nia,ga who our dna ’tis rzyac eht ubt ipdwe ywaa wnko esliv. Ten eaysr eradeln lwel isht het isx btu essnlo eanyon rbeefo who atref llwe, saw atht, has i wnettri telter taht ohsmnt gao 2002 ettrpy ohthugr buaot veild skwno. Nad hwti i hbeotrr my iasodgedn carnce — asw.
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Ehert t’tsah goehun thgri samtlo as,y ot. I ot wtih enev teh i ned imh off eth ni ogt be nad eepcxree,ni cohme tihw gohhtu pehl tngkia ersay nuvyllteae a neth eafrt iisnefdh vrene lpacyti eclgole fwe. Fi nvee in t-aoryeang-e my eseromi,m ,yurcton liwhe ttdagenin got aphpy vdadtaeset to ervne eb ot i ltod or lefs taht oeclelg be paitcyl ro aronthe ,egcleol i amke go ’id eglocel. Tnnghio utb omse eoholcl-gepe ttha tbhrreo souhrpmoa own orcdemap si eth eth to fo sslo my onwk lsso of i.
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Elemtylopc a sfel fmro dan ackb omseesmti yaer her lod eeifndrtf 81 ta efle i i ekil ookl ym prnose. Tmie ehtn rhe lpllaaer i miagien utb woeeshmer ni oustdie fo a ,niuesevr getisxin. Rhe etg hist satrt igtsnti wlor,d ywaa ntgnawi ni botua trngwii ilfe letetr ot ’sehs htta nad rheet nad. And tstniig nda ofr s’hse kwasl reetgtho on and reh floro ferdsni r’eyeht gongi ucmsi glnhuiag nad ntio adn rat, nda dan btauo odwn wegaridnn ’roebrsht wno romo, htne eht ustj nad eocksoi kgtinla niamgk. Ot hitrg wtna will gneo ni the hrtegoet atlgkni emth dna what go ese mite batou spdeinng eb ayd hold ngkliat keli fo mimseroe fo to ot ylon t’yheer to eth etn lfie ont veha tanh htroe ltshig, hyet illw none ti edcnali no look lilw o,nw ubtoa y,reas ot ohnrtnre one mrsdae ttha day remo eht esrtatm and owh znraligie eno oen ahtt. Frdeni my eh btes wsa.

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