feeling...

Peaceful right?

feeling... sharp. dangerous. full of attitude. which, I guess, is just what a girl about to go to college ought to feel like. When you, future Anna, get this, it'll be ten years from now, and the passport that you got today will have expired. How was going to school in another country? Was it far enough away from your parents? What prompted past-you to write this (besides the fact that the trusty sketchbook/journal has gone missing) is the fact that, among all of the suitcases you were looking for in the attic today, you also found a hefty dose of family history. History from 1840. A picture of the family goat. Hand drawn sketches of the cottage. Letters back and forth between two feuding families. One family claims its daughter was starved to death whilst visiting the other. The other family is outraged because of a false arrest upon an unfounded accusation of THEIR daughter being a member of a house of prostitution. All insults and accusations in flowery, minute, faint 1840's penmanship, of course. I don't even know what the point of this email is. I just think it's weird that on the eve of your departure to distance yourself from your family, just when you're feeling incredibly independent, the attic delivers. Now, past-you wants to stay connected, be Bess's great great great great granddaughter, add her own tale to the many family stories. Past-you wants to stay in the attic forever, reading the family history. But I guess that's why college is good. So you can get the hell out of that attic and this house and make your own history. Go on.

Epilogue

3 days later

Ten years ago, I was a senior in high school aching to go to college as far away from home as possible. I wanted to see other countries and make...

Ym nwo retsois. Ftel i maltennuom omeh to and teid vnee euhflpo ok as — fetl i atth trvnihegey asw leeav but npelnad ot it,. Ignsw pnengio elik no me up ueufrt efroeb ym wsa sinemothg. .
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Sit’ wdon oyu truufe secol eth agn,ia zcray wdeip sevil utb ?waht eb cna away uor meoestmsi konw hwo nda cna. Reenald i ihts rseay arfte e,wll tub wonks six solnes oshntm rlteet beefro ewll eilvd yenona atth owh atuob het tne etwrtin tt,ah 2020 has tepytr thrugoh gao swa. — my wsa adn trerboh ecnrac iwht odensdgai i.
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Ehetr ’tshta rtghi to ghneuo ,ysa lsmato. Lphe a iltcyap efw den neth aetfr dna to vnee i be ersya tgo tnakgi esdihnif oemhc etneayllvu ffo college ihm ghtuho the ihtw rvnee the with ni ,npiercexee i. E-a-nygoaert i’d nehrtoa clytapi tgo vdeestaatd ekma efls unct,oyr og eb i atht celogel lihew even to if in to eb legoecl rvene or e,mieroms or yahpp oele,clg my eittnngda oltd i. Ot my oems het hatt own of leglhooec-ep eht btu ossl pmuohrosa owkn ntohgni is fo i dpecrmao hrtebor sols.
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Ilke lfee i idetffenr ernpos oymlepltec my erh a i mmosestie lkoo ta old kacb orfm eary nad lesf 81. Enigmai srunviee, ubt i a hent sineixtg ni mewerhose suiodet of aeprllla her mtei. Itgtsin to adn fiel ingntwa rtsta thsi rdo,wl awya hre gte itwnigr nda ttah leetrt ubtoa hetre ni eh’ss. Nda nda osrbh’tre otin eth reh om,or iagnhugl igngo cimsu now and and kmnaig itsitng tnglaik nad odwn fsinerd rloof uaobt dan ’eeyhtr sklwa kiosceo tteeogrh jtsu sehs’ ergdinnwa neth adn a,tr nda on ofr. Ttah atnw ot onrrhnet ot lohd eeosimmr eon abotu yhte day eht no,w to hte fo maesdr shgli,t ni teh thegtero rtghi lwli torhe ent ty’rehe on anht ees eikl kolo obaut oen wlli deninpgs ti fo go dya and ligktna olny ton egno remo rilegzian vhea none be ielf aikgnlt hawt rstamte cleandi noe hwo imet ttha nad aey,rs to lilw to tehm. Erfnid my he asw best.

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