feeling...

Peaceful right?

feeling... sharp. dangerous. full of attitude. which, I guess, is just what a girl about to go to college ought to feel like. When you, future Anna, get this, it'll be ten years from now, and the passport that you got today will have expired. How was going to school in another country? Was it far enough away from your parents? What prompted past-you to write this (besides the fact that the trusty sketchbook/journal has gone missing) is the fact that, among all of the suitcases you were looking for in the attic today, you also found a hefty dose of family history. History from 1840. A picture of the family goat. Hand drawn sketches of the cottage. Letters back and forth between two feuding families. One family claims its daughter was starved to death whilst visiting the other. The other family is outraged because of a false arrest upon an unfounded accusation of THEIR daughter being a member of a house of prostitution. All insults and accusations in flowery, minute, faint 1840's penmanship, of course. I don't even know what the point of this email is. I just think it's weird that on the eve of your departure to distance yourself from your family, just when you're feeling incredibly independent, the attic delivers. Now, past-you wants to stay connected, be Bess's great great great great granddaughter, add her own tale to the many family stories. Past-you wants to stay in the attic forever, reading the family history. But I guess that's why college is good. So you can get the hell out of that attic and this house and make your own history. Go on.

Epilogue

3 days later

Ten years ago, I was a senior in high school aching to go to college as far away from home as possible. I wanted to see other countries and make...

Nwo my esstior. I,t epohlfu tub wsa i i ok ehom alvee edti neev to dalnnep to htat ftle nlnetmumoa nad gietnrheyv — sa eltf. Sneomgtih up pgonnei eerfob ym fertuu aws em no ikel nisgw. .
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Si’t pediw utb know momseeist anc yuo can oru giaa,n how eth aayw urtfue nad evlis azcyr dwon thaw? eclos eb. Utb taht ,wlel eeobfr stih lrttee i nskow mhnots ellw elsosn 2002 teh ixs horugth how twntier fatre oag ieldv sah aersy atuob nte eynnao saw tetpyr laerdne ahtt,. Ym asw reaccn — gddseonai i tbrreoh nda iwht.
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Slatmo ’hastt heret ysa, trghi ot huegno. Eb luyvneleta ni dne etnh clogeel gtkain to hte hwti atefr neerv ffo ewf hple i hugoth eevn and xnpei,erece a iwth dihisnef otg hte i eochm easyr ypliact hmi. Esdttevaad to go ,iseeormm eb i pcltaiy got nohtaer g,loclee in ot i tdol fsel oeglecl fi neev wlhie utr,cyon id’ -toeenrya-ag enrve tath gtandenti mkea ahpyp ym ro or be clleoeg. Of but ot loss epdacomr si het wkno now of i ohprusmoa elolcg-epoeh otgnhni obrhetr moes my taht teh ssol.
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Ta fesl a my ryea omrf kcab efle eomtylelpc 18 nosepr dna i oismseemt ldo edntriffe rhe olok kile i. Fo niegaim eherwomes i tneh ueisvnr,e ubt a time gsnixtie tioeuds in hre pearlall. Nad awya essh’ ,rwdol in leif tish tinagwn gsnttii tgiinrw ttsra teg ahtt tlteer and to oatbu erh eterh. Suimc dna ehr t,ra on sse’h nda won dan nda adn nad the nnardgwei ehrtye’ gteherto knatlig tnio disrnef glnahuig oomr, sroe’hrbt nwod ggoni nthe jtus fro ooeckis lkwsa oofrl gttiisn and dna mkniag aubto. Mreo nhrnetor teim ot earmtts egon itglnka like ni otn eno nw,o lhod owh thetrgoe eno athw ot the neon dsemar vhae eilf yr’ethe ot eon ghtir wlil tnah dna tyhe wlil ayd hatt lilw teh gi,stlh ot ookl fo yda ot tubao ees teh rhtoe igpendsn naidlce zigalrien og etn of atth olyn no eb ti tnilgak a,seyr osmmiere ehmt nad wnat aoubt. Sbet eh ym aws ndiref.

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