A letter from May 07, 2026

Dear FutureMe, I am writing this letter on the last day of clg. Literally. I got a few forms of no dues left at best. I am not sure I wanna go for the convocation. No. But above all, I got myself into a game project with Varsha and a friend of hers. A side quest if I had to say. Divya is leaving as a transfer student for IIT Bombay. Yup 3 years vaha. I'll try to stay in contact with her at times. And Sriram - I wanna visit Bombay with that kid and explore the various places with him. Rachit and I also cool but are we really cool friends? I dont know. Today is last day I see Maara. I saw her two days ago. She tried to have a convo while I just wanted to give her the book and be done with it. But I couldnt. I never hated her, just angry that she left. I wanted to say so many things in spite, anger but all that evaporated the moment I saw her. That one look at her and I couldnt bring myself to say anything, afraid I might regret it. Not wanting to say I miss her, neither wishing to curse her, i choose silence. I love her, a lot more than I probably should have. But I hate myself for letting it get to this point. I want to be in contact with her and take whatever it is I can get, even if it is called friendship, but I cannot lie to myself that I would be happy with that 'what if' at the back of my mind. If she wanted to get back, I am afraid I cant. I cant have my heart broken again, I dont trust her with it. She left when it got tough, when it got uncomfortable for her. I cant keep living afraid that she might leave when it gets tough. She is getting away from this with no consequences and that is how far I can allow. I shall be friends with her but on one condition: the day she falls in love the way I did with someone like her, then, and only then can we be friends. But what's