Dear FutureMe,
I broke things off with vlad today. He went to his moms, hes coming for toby tomorrow probably. Im going to sleep at my moms. stephanie came over and hung out for a bit. we drank wine ate pizza, cried laughed farted. He was so special to me. But in the quiet moments when it was just me, I started to feel alone. Used after ***, bothering him when he was on his computer. He denied me kisses bc he just didnt want to kiss me.
I got my peircing today. Nose ring left side bc i sleep on my right.
I have no ******* clue what the future will hold, but I am on my own now. I have to pick myself up by the bootstraps. I provide for me no one else. I will find me not in men but within. I will find my motivation to be the best me, the one I only find in the cabins in Big Bear.
You are my hope. I am holding out for YOU. Look around and tell me it gets better. I really need that right now.
Epilogue
3 days later
Hi kyla, belive it or not, sometimes, i miss YOU!! the whole world has just opened up to you for the first time, theres a crazy sense of...
In emderfo htta. Hte lal ietm atb i tkihn you. Wshi ays ot i tbyo ot uoy bey ebmeemerdr. I three ,btu ngogi aws on etg lot i,t a. !rbhtdiya ti was uor fro os fun i aigcpmn ewtn. It swa at hte sioqeasu. Tamsrcsih tfig ieaphsten a ophe is i fmor really rethe reh dgoo rfo you egt s,u i nca itsll. Tirhaeslpnio i eth tab fo em stgnih ekil khatns w gdnmieinr for oru ddtni dlva. To ni wo,n e!hwp gthri dgoo onw esya its itngh hchwi is a its ofgret. Mtmenso erofscuo klie i egrbimremen het ogdo. Etl you yb pu teh ,uoy letl yusfoler idd me ckip bsostoptra aellyr. Drha thag htsi swa. Dna kowr u day erevy tog to btu pu etnw osmwheo. Ehlaht my ym gnyhvieetr ipgyan onw chbit hbugto htsi rof teg sai,nenucr digant i have mreo orom apdi i ogt dtretas illts i mi ): in tho ,cna nwo! i. Be to ittlle onlea sit dhar a. L,noyel btu etgs ist sreiae it. Uto og yuo oenla. Loev ho! csapee oyu w emor frnidse ur hvea esoiph ur nnago ngiog it ot o!nw. Rftueu rmbree hntgknii of me i. Ttleer ihts ndergai. Heewr nwko tdnid i i eb ulwdo. Good ruesmm btu a dha i rlaely. Uhegon i ietrw slyeonht ernev. I faodrrw epho i mofr chti kiel aitfiesds ciclk ttboun sfta a ur tu,b rfo. Yppah to ouy eb eevresd. Oxxo u ur dan eelsf to love hgi,rt kddoi slneti wtah <3 ug!t do.
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