A letter from Sep 05, 2024

Dear Future Me, I hope you are doing well and are happy with the path you have chosen. This is your past self speaking from exactly a year ago, who is sort of responsible for where you are now. I feel uncertain and scared about the future and sometimes a bit frustrated at myself for not working hard enough for you. I know it is in my hands for you to be in a good place right now, and I am trying my best, or well, TRYING to try my best I guess. I will give my best and try not to disappoint you. It's still September and with the way things have been so far it feels hard to believe I'll be able to get a decent score in entrances, or even boards for that matter.. and if i get less in entrances i can still take a drop but if i dont get 75 in boards, repeating would be more embarrassing so sometimes I think about the option of taking a drop and focussing on boards right now but I realize that I still have time and it's too early to think about drops, But I thought the same in August and it's already September without having done much. I think wether or not to take a drop is a decision to be taken after the results are out, not before that. All I should think about right now is how I can prepare myself best for boards AND entrances by march. I will try my best but I'm sorry if you aren't exactly where you would have liked to be right now. But regardless of what college you are in, I'm sure you're gonna end up doing great in life. I hope you know by now what you want to do in life and have chosen your course accordingly, but if not, don't worry, we'll definitely figure things out. Keep working hard and don't forget to have fun, and experience wild things that I can't even imagine right now. Exceed my expectations from you as much as possible because I have almost none right now, especially in terms of socialising. Kiss a guy or two, get a wardrobe glow up, idk all the womanly things I look forward to. Lastly, I just hope you're happy. There will always be people better than you, but there's also worse, which is why they say, the competition is with yourself. Unleash YOUR full potential, live the life YOU are meant to live, not the one society expects you to. Love, Suravi <3