A letter from Jun 02, 2024

Dear FutureMe, Where do I start from to tell you whats going on? I’m lying down on our bed. The one in Anthony. I’ve been going through a series of emotions and its been alot. We were forced to move on from the person you love the most. Somedays it seems like itll be easy but most days its not. I’ve been thinking alot and a couple of things have come to mind. What had happened in the past has happened. There are things I regret, decisions I made that I wish I could undo. All hanging on the “maybe things will be different” rack. But one thing I do not regret is showing up as my authentic self. I didn’t hide myself and I guess that was too much for her. Its easy to be mad at her and want to hate her. But there are two sides to a story and there were two players in this game. We both contributed and don’t ever forget that. You’re mad at her for not wanting to choose you anymore. You’re mad at her friends for not advocating for her to try one last time. You’re mad at Kanyinsola especially because you’d have imagine she was rooting for you two. You thought that she was on the side of you both working out. In the end, you’re both humans. Imperfect beings. Forgive her and forgive yourself and let go. You want to hold on and wish and hope. I know. I’m you. You want someone to reach out to her and tell her to comeback to you because you think you both are absolutely wonderful together. You don’t want to love anyone else. But I guess this is one of the pains of life. Stop blaming yourself. You were the real you, its caused you to learn and now you’re growing. I hope by the time you read this you’d be much better and thriving You from the past