A letter from Oct 17, 2023

Dear Future Me, Tomorrow is your 32nd birthday. At the time you're reading this letter, you may be going through a mix of emotions right now - some excitement of what the day and by extension the year's gonna bring you, a bit of dread that you're one year older, and some sense of relief that the hardest parts are over. I'm not sure where you're gonna be by the time you get to this. But 2023 me is writing this to you as a birthday wish. First, I wish you so much joy and happiness. Believe it or not, you have so many wonderful things ahead of you. Society may throw so much BS at us that life "ends" at your 30s or even 35 but you and I know that's not true at all. There's just as many opportunities in front of us now as they were back in undergrad and grad school. Grandpa has said to make sure you give yourself joy and pleasure as much as you do others. There's more to life than books and work! Do all those things you love. Yes, that means dusting off the consoles, going outside, seeing people, going to your reiki sessions, and do whatever interests you in the moment. Second, I wish you the strength to pursue your life's dreams. In the past, I know your dreams have had so many obstacles - willpower, time, moral support, and money. The latter two have not been so easy to come by to the point where you tend to shut down and not think about it. The dreams have been an escape rather than a fuel. If you haven't started doing so already, please start doing them because they do matter - if not to someone else, then certainly to yourself. You, yes YOU - as a divine human being - matter. Ask for what you want and follow through on those impulses. You can trust yourself. Finally, I wish you the courage to take a leap of faith. I get it - that space of uncertainty is so scary. You want the similar guarantees more familiar and socially endorsed paths often get. But we're not built for that kind of life. Within that space of uncertainty is also a space of opportunity. You can do so many amazing things for yourself, your community, and the world. You also have so many people that love you and are ready to catch you if and when you struggle. It's alright to be vulnerable AND be a superhero. It's alright to trust and stand on your own two feet. You are capable of love AND being loved. It's okay to be scared and to go for the life you want. Two things can be true at once. I imagine you're hanging out with your friends, your family, or doing just fine in your own company. Financially you're doing better, getting ready for the next adventure. Your walls & your screens are full of your various kinds of art and you've published or on track for publishing something (hopefully a book or two). Maybe you'll have decided to go back to school or some classes. Most importantly, you're living your life fully and vibrantly with divine love radiating within and beyond you. You're gonna do great. Remember to give yourself so much compassion and what is meant for you will come to you in the right time. I love you and have an awesome birthday tomorrow! Sincerely, 2023 Matanda