A letter from Sep 18, 2023

Hey you! Still feels weird to be writing to 5-years-in-the-future me, so I'll be writing to you one year away. The day after tomorrow you're (we're) going back to college. Well, or at least what I think will be college. Today, while I was talking to G., she mentioned wanting to take up acoustic engineering, and it sparked an interest in me (again, I should say). I'd kinda brushed it off last year, but it's coming back now, and right when I was trying to chose which courses to take. F my life lol. In any case, I should start working on my thesis, and it should be done by December, when, hopefully, I will be graduating. Will I? Please tell me. This week also marks the start of my diet, which I hope will turn me into a beast (lol). Nah, just kidding, but I do hope to be making progress in the gym. We'll also see about that. I think I have officially bid goodbye to all of my friends. Not forever, granted! But before the start of my school year, which feels... weird. On the 20th of September I'll be away from home, summer will be officially done with, and... I'm off to a new start. Also hoping to make friends, so keep me updated on that! I really hope that's the case. This entire summer things have been weird. I've started to feel lost... somewhat. It's like I don't know what I want. But the other day I met this guy and we talked a bit and for some reason it feels like that put things into motion? Well, maybe not into motion, but it changed something. I don't feel as lost! Which is a start. M. is away in France now. I actually don't feel bad about it at all. Maybe it's because I've already felt bad about it (which is true), or so I tell myself, but partly because I feel like he should be doing that. It's a great opportunity and I hope he's having so much fun. Plus, I realised a year is a very short time. Like, SUPER short. I met this girl the other day who I used to be in school with who was away for TWO years in the Netherlands, and now she's back. It feels like a lifetime but it was over pretty quickly actually. Now... I don't know if I have doubts about him. I read the other day that you truly love someone when you don't think there's anything better out there than them. But the thing is... do I know that? He's a great guy, and I love him, but how can I know what's out there. I talked to R. about it the other day... I still have reached no conclusion. But I'm not fretting it. I also smoked for the first time. Well, not *first*, but it's the first time it actually hit. I barely made it through half a joint so it's not like it HIT. Like yk. But I remember swaying lol. That felt good. Like being drunk but with NO headache. Isn't that great? As for other things... I got into analog photography? It's really fun. It's also EXPENSIVE. But fun! On Wednesday I'm developing the last film roll of the summer and probably making a post about it. This summer hasn't been that bad after all! I saw Lana Del Rey, I went on vacation for a MONTH on the seaside. As for the rest... I guess I'll be an uncle? Yes. I wonder how that will go. I have no idea. Tell me about it too. What else? I'm still very much scared about the future. And the worrisome thing is... it feels logical. I can't get it out of my head. I wish I did so much. Am I as scared? Dear future me, I hope everything is going well. In any case, you'll have graduated, have become an uncle... and probably have done other fun things!