A letter from Aug 18, 2023

Time Travelled — 6 days

Peaceful right?

Dear Ibtissam, Hey there, it's me, Lee Hei Ran—remember? I'm writing to you from a place where you've always wanted to be. I know, it sounds a bit crazy, doesn't it? But trust me, it's real. I wanted to chat with you because I've been where you are right now. The struggles, the doubts, the late nights—it's all familiar to me. I remember those days when you used to hit the snooze button way too many times and mornings felt like an impossible mission. Don't worry, I get it. Sometimes even I had trouble dragging myself out of bed. But let me tell you something. Those early mornings, the ones where you begrudgingly push yourself to wake up, they matter. They set the tone for the rest of the day. You'll learn to find beauty in those quiet moments, I promise. Oh, and procrastination? Yeah, it's not an easy thing to conquer. I've had my fair share of battles with it. There were times when I'd find myself scrolling through social media or watching cat videos when I should have been working on something important. But guess what? It's okay. You're not perfect, and that's absolutely fine. Instead of beating yourself up, try setting small goals. Say, "Okay, I'll work on this for just 15 minutes." You'll be surprised how that tiny commitment can break the procrastination cycle. And girl, I know how daunting it can be when you're faced with something new to learn. The frustration, the feeling of being overwhelmed—it's all part of the process. But let me share a secret: learning isn't just about mastering a skill; it's about the journey of growth. Embrace the challenges, the stumbling blocks, and even the moments when you feel like throwing in the towel. Those are the moments that shape you into the strong person you're becoming. I want you to know that it's okay to ask for help. You don't have to have all the answers. Surround yourself with people who lift you up, who believe in you even when you doubt yourself. They're the ones who will remind you of your worth when you need it most. Remember, I'm here waiting for you at that airport, and I'm not going anywhere. This journey we're on, it's ours. The tears, the laughter, the frustration—it's all part of the story. You're writing your narrative, and each day is a new page waiting to be filled. So go on, step out of that comfort zone, take a leap, and know that even on the toughest days, I've got your back. Here's to us—embracing the unknown, learning, growing, and becoming the person we've always imagined. With all the love and encouragement in the world, Your future friend, Lee Hei Ran

Epilogue

8 months later

Dear Hei Ranna,

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't know why, but I can't fight myself. I'm so far away from being with you or even near to...

Yuo. I ym i'dndt rty tseb. 'dndti nvee ytr i. U,oy 'mi tno'd alayws ubt evlae twan i ot vlegnia. Valee eth oyu i wneh somt deen em. A ehnw try elave hccnea em iagan i ielf vgesi ot. Adn rrtgee veela i. Tops nac woh tbu avlee notd' i ouy n,eaormy to i i sjut wkon 'odnt nwat.
.
Hsgaecn tub nnhiitgk to ,thoinng i korw eb bgi nda rldaeen d,har 'ive my utaob luhods oslag eih ttha hinkt xtmeree big ro raann amsll. Rngidla ighnnto ngeas,ch. Siht vener i i hlle aym vleae efar. Lefe em sieind it i. Em iisedn hrest'e tpso jtus nofolig selfmy veico ot a litelgn em. Eht wnast amlsl 'mi ptah oto how gonl adn a lyeral nad ot had,r gwro slml,a one is. Rbette, 2 but cna't eb dsya tanh fro nran,a seem i tuyrl nmniiaat ehi watn ti i more to ot.
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Mi' hte rginnnu wiernn for rysae ym 8 wsa het dna nwo esncod out i fo fil,e of. If dno't taht yas i.
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Im' so rosyr. Yuo hte si anwt otn erawns to i shti ot sdne. Nmay yoka yuo i im' adostrw hope etsps anc mi' oyu tath i ntiakg and tlel. Rfo a nad you oeph herit eeyrv uutfer lgnero sa i i uoy ltetli nad do eslf uoct,nyr wreit em ruo ibneg asecube shlodu ot thwi erdam onresp i'm trtgeoeh atht ngoig wait oscle misubioat ot.
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Uoy nara,n rvsonie ot be of dol m,e yruo ihe a btteer seveder efsl. Will penosr ihst eb y,uo i i oprisme. Hatn lwil rdraeh be ttha hpus try senpro i dr,ah nad i cn,a lfmsey i will. Atsl 'its gvie oyu i miet no the pu. Verye meit enerv sekat soed engechlla esekp nda gstinh fsle nda nda gngio dan taht uyo will tptnpe,iusioor i igigvn a eth fro lsfe, acbuese ahrd heins old eht ro itlnu taske an ttah utismboia cechan dol ouy tsewa pitimvoetce s'nedto sverdee end p,u. Noe dol fo no be slef ruoy acn eadntis me. Ynlo wlli adn n,ac do wnok owh i m'i noe i i beauces het cna ti htta. Eben vei' ylza juts. I ilwl are ehwer eb you. You ttrus nac me. Venre you ainag i lwil down elt.
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Idnem,ttnaioer nad wthi faelttreh oelispoga.
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Mbssatii.

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