A letter from February 1st, 2023

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, Hi. I just wrote a lot. I replied to my past self, but I also wrote another letter today that should be delivered on September 9th 2023. I am doing homeschool right now. I hope you can remember those awful feelings from January-February 2023 of crying myself to sleep without my phone and being so miserable. This is the worst time of my life. By a mile. I have never felt so depressed. I am planning to go on antianxiety/depressant meds and I am seeing a psychiatrist tomorrow. I tried to overdose a few times. I lied to everyone about it. Then I thought of jumping out of the balcony. I hope 15/16 year old me is over those feelings. I want to become a better person. I hope in three years from now I’m thriving. I hope I am still alive. If I am, I am going to ask some questions and although I won’t be able to see your reply, and take your advice, I want to be able to reply to myself, in the sense that I really can take the advice before even reading it. First question: how does it feel to have no braces. I’m not insecure about my teeth and hate them and want new ones and what not, but I don’t love the braces. My next questions is this: are you still reading? Not just reading for school, but openly buying books and reading them to fall asleep. I just finished flowers for Algernon and it was really good. The next thing I want to know is are you writing? I was thinking about either making a journal, or just a full on book..or maybe even both! I wanted to call it Mentally Fat. Because, I am, In fact, Mentally Fat. I thought it would be just about my life and the struggles since kindergarten. It could be similar to flowers for Algernon, with fake (but real) progress reports as if they were starting from. My first day of kindergarten all the way to where I am now. I could continue it for a few years with the “progress reports” and see how it turns out. I hope you follow through. I want to be someone when I grow up. Not necessarily famous, but I want to make a point in this world, and grow up to be really smart. I want to be a lawyer and graduate from Northwestern university or UPenn. My next question is how are the dogs? None of them died right? (Hopefully) Any new ones? Who is working for us as help? I cannot imagine Christina is still there. A really important question coming up..What school did you end up going to? (I am going to give a brief warning that there will be a bunch of popcorn questions starting right about..now.) Did you leave after 8th? How did you manage to stay in school? (If you didn’t get kicked out) How is hockey? What do you consider your “main sport” as of today? If you didn’t leave after 8th and stayed for 9th, did you make varsity club? How was commencement? Were you field hockey/hockey/crew/any other sport captain? Probably not hockey, but I am expecting field hockey. This text question might trigger a weird PTSD. No more mental hospitals right? Especially not Charlotte Hungerford I hope. Were you Mr. Przygocki, Mrs. Giese, or Mr. Greens prefect? How is Charlotte? Who are your REAL friends? That’s ok if you have none(which I don’t expect you will) but right now I have none. And that’s okay. I’m dealing with it. My trusted adult right now is Allie Molner. I am happy with that. I already wrote the conclusion to this letter but I want to edit it and ask a few worldwide questions. Have you moved houses? Have you gotten a new phone? What new phones are there? Any pandemics? Have any family members died? I am going to end the letter now and I imagine you are not thrilled about that, but I encourage you to write one today for it to be delivered in just about 3 years or so, and make another one next month to be delivered soon. Also, when you write back to me, please make it long. Although I will not see it, I feel that you will respond in a wholesome way. By the way, have you blown up on tiktok? My recent tiktok of Dallas just got like 500k+ views and I am VERY proud. These are really fun, and emotionally therapeutic too..be good, xoxo Georgina at 12:34pm from feb12023❤️

Epilogue

about 1 month later

Hi. It’s been just over three years since I got this letter. Some answers:
No braces is great! Got them off over a year ago.
I don’t read as much...

Reaoymn. Drgnaie ienshgl liltao rfo. Ooos ti rof nda i it pdecik is clhoos ubt ti klei.
Tndo’ teriw i. Lal ta.
Dsgo fein, uylcltaa rea. Eon ided no. Oga a thsmon ujged wfe eflt. I clalyuat aog seven nomhst ihtkn. Ogt mmo of mih eidrt. Rchinasit toienmn uoy nfnuy. In tlef she 2420. Ebetnwe we a was nhucb ttrtmneae ewlih ahd in in lhoew i. Kown swa in 22 ’ddnit i htt!a og omeh ouy once outba rfo oh nad ’dtno mstonh atnetemtr. Omgnci eausbec geistntnier urpsoiev ef,lt uro aihrstcni yllauact ti!ghr swa eshpeeekuor how thnigto cabk raecg is. Rfo knthi eneb a a ash eerh pelcou eayrs sah. E’shs odog.
Taentrtme i to as i wten e,idtomenn. From fo 9ht edidlm teh taht h7t to fo dsleat lmiedd. Rof ot dsarett fo in keew but het sret a nda a siuicde ittlon hsimahper mtulalyiet teh newt olcsoh alshpiot rof het alvee new hciwh tetmpat me to had hda i t01,h ltef h9,t in so i. Ho aws mi’ eht ti itrsf siunfo l…hsooc of lelw! now eewk at. Ady no eno eno a iearnlgn yitc ahtt oclhso in ’tis oeds the. Ey,ar ’im to ongig poblaryb xnet ichbr. Fi anme eht rthig i uyo uoy rreeembm duwol erwe epknagsi to own. Reaihcl reeht ntew. Wwo ry!ea uoirjn. L’il rsoine tinkh be ehetr i too eray. Dtyus stawn enfrac ot my dda ni em. Wati i ’lil eglcole llit ktihn. Lcloeeg el!eclog. .
Renve teuisoqns geagnrsdiird ubascee eyrums tnwe hte i btuoa kbca.
I yaer sa rreudtne dculo i ti enwh nad og omeeteccnmnm i uscabee geard lniut aws rfo ot ni reh ateysd t9h idd aybs’b sa ehmo nolg hutco i wtih salt. Was ti nife. Seinge but itellt it ugsse a ,oreenvye i wkdrwaa asw einc. Myuers ptsors pepsotd i ehwn noidg i ftel. Fro rasye won ta tod’n peydla i vie’ ihnkt 3 yckohe alset. Kwno i. Oehskcd aborlbyp be oud’y. Ouabt ubt ot i ,ti nwdyasoa i ’ntdo stoesniapa be arec i ugses dsue. Dha reetmbsep astl i alvee tbu oyhkec ttesrad fedil to i isda sa olhsoc. Eyar thire and oersin tspacina wree dylenam aonm eth rfo. Nmoa ulwdo rteeh i em t’nwsa it hvae utb dna nebe. Ltdo yabb me. .
Naletm htiopslsa. No stdp. Egrgerdit ont ubt ts,dp m’i ellw esy. Enver ewtn ni nnuiccetoct lpihosat bkac to ch i. Neics i ot i bnee kthin onw evi’ ro 5 ihts 6 orwte. Os i saw ievan wwo.
On teprecf. Si tahlercot nfie. Twen octmemmnncee ni reh ot b’aysb jneu hnwe i was i. Lucpeo s?ho?ntm catn’ ni dntgguaria a beleiev h’ses i ulodc tujs uyo. Thkin liek eray cyeohk erh i lefdi igdrun rma alst kerbo ehs. ‘42. Ngere tghcua mr wthi pu. Me onkw msdsei eh i. Uodcl etll i. H,sneytol ti etgnot rdeol i is flie ’ive rieeldza of sujt as tub das givmon was artp on. Os odt’n stju tabuo i dna mhi i tnikh enfto did h,att. Ta all atlaulyc. Ko dna ’tasht. Im ko.
Hvae odemv hoesus nto.
16, teh 71 nwo otg hniope.
Spdmianec on.
Satl yma ngdaarm great eidd.
Dinm he,ay the ttah i lsteert t’ond dngnei. Ermo to lhewo rtwei ym i life have.
Gcwthain i’m cakb i swa cuasebe to nentcoiu s’eryg nto nwo tawn irhtg wrtie adn ogign anmayto nad ot. Ceaseub dneawt ouy btu em i i nowk did, to. Ghu be spat up siwh and rfo mceos klcueb dna evig i ludoc adn thaw my lsfe a deaprepr yas i txen. Cein buecesa wolud heav ngontih em, preprea eliltt a rwangin tub enbe duocl. Ddi i a oitkkt yare bowl on up aog utalycal,. I asw cnoe nliigv i ertnetm,ta ofmr bakc htidn,ihgs loko ogt bcak in eth sa i in psat. Telf dah rognw dibhen up, of i asw rnoeeyev tsor i eeaidrlz dan. Rofm a erya 31 eikl 0232 dol. Eizaelr ’dditn niltu a and i eralt it aery. Rdayb uercipt 2220 fo mmbereer ot i ghnigcan i omfr noe plorief mohe tiggent and ym adn. It 2502 swa. Had on dha htoosp ,efsmly notinhg fo tub i i. It ndid’t dna i yrenmoa eirzale tnsaw’ 0222. Ttiuhwo eeplpo me demvo had on. Ouhgr was nys,awya taht. To terdi og a i dna itokkt ti htnik on liavr idd orwk i timse celupo. Gtonnhi hohtgu zcyar. Tgo oanucct hte oll kcahde laasdl. Ni osme anchi up btu nur yb ts’i seckhar isllt. But fuynn ptos to’dn eyth htnik ’ist i. Llaarlep ywa thsi usjt hwree ylo’lu a wkno moes that ruiesenv hrete si aoky iwe,tc eb fi gdneria tghins y’uore ni nahppe ro. Uot ti ouy nad akem will. Iktnh imste ouy eb tub kaem ouy lliw ’otdn lylou’ ti rehwe lwil diteneilyf eethr ,otu. I it do ecbaues i idd wo?nk hwo nda. Uot tdsepee rtdasek teh of fo i lfei aemd tesmi it ym. It not trpcfee hirgt onw is. Lal at. Nto tib noe. I amyn sillt etsgslrug ehva. Ttah heva ta tno ktoo eaucebs eon do ’mi rtlgaeuf htaw rfo adn do nwok i to btu i nopti it ,tnarged i for own. So oosoooo ifel rcays is. Eht rttuh ti’s. Uyo hte no meoc losesn escaebu rfelsuyo dna dnouar ealnred, shtnig oyu letyuailtm, ylon ttha dan omvgin, kcsti ot tucon ehva utb ve’i ,og the nespor si plpeoe ekpe si iegstgb to e,pnhpa just tub erve. .
.
Leov i uoy.
Fof ngiisgn.
.
P535:m igrneog,a 2260 mhcra - ,6th.
💕.

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