A letter from Dec 19, 2022

Dear FutureMe, I know you already have a job offer because we are trusting God to give us a job offer bt the end of the year. Things do not normally work like this, but we are trusting God to make it work for us. This is Crazy faith. Of course getting a job is not the only thing I am worried about right now. Just how Satan is able to get into my head to question the realisticness of my dreams and goals and thoughts and feelings is unbelievable. He does it so automatically and with so much ease. Over time though we have really built our mental muscles and we are able to handle so much more. I have one more thing I am stuck in limbo about,but I don't really want to have that conversation right now. I am stressed out, quite alot infact and having these kids over is not even helping. They are making it worse. Infact I have realized that for most of my life I have mostly been used as a slave/maid and I don't feel so good about it. I think the image she holds about me is also slightly contributing to the level of stress I have right now. It has never hit me before it has happened just recently.I don't know exactly why it has to be right now, but I guess I can solve it by going to therapy sometime in the beginning of the year, on a Saturday of course since we will be working. The year has been really good if I am being honest. I have learnt to differenciate between my voice and God's voice . Between mine and the World's between Satan's and God's guidance. This has been my greatest achievement this year . I know you are doing the most youcan with the resources you have at hand , and that you can do better.