A letter from November 15th, 2022

To future me, At the present moment I am having a crisis. Maybe not a crisis by the actual definition but in my world this is a crisis. I’m 19 and I’ll be 20 next month. I haven’t yet gotten my ged and I’m always pushing back my studying, I just feel so unmotivated but I know I’ll get it within the next 5 months. I also worry about what career to pursue. I could choose a career for money and job security, software engineering or I could choose a career following my passion, music. I think I’ll choose money and job security and hope that I can pursue music on my free time, the bit of I’d have anyway. I am worried about the stress of majoring in computer science and it’s affects on my body. Having HS is very painful and stress could be a cause of flare ups. I’m currently trying to eat better foods and lose weight, it’s not an easy process being that I am unemployed. I hope to work 2 jobs, 60 hours a week for 8 months however so that I can move back yo NJ or PA to attend college there. I am so very unhappy in SC. I don’t fit in here and I live far away from most other people. On top of that I wouldn’t have the option to pursue CS at the only college close enough to me here. So if things go as planned, by this time next year I will be enrolled in community college as a computer science major in either NJ or PA. I’ll also likely be suffering tremendously.