A letter from Sep 18, 2022

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, Right now, as of September 18, 2022, things aren't going so well... To start, You're back living with your mom and looking for work. Its hard, but you're doing all you can to keep your head up. You're single and still living with your children's father/ love of your life. To add insult to injury, you still sleep in the same bed. Things are mostly awkward and you guys argue more, but it could be worse. You have to better yourself mentally and physically before you can jump back into anything with anyone. Ultimately, you want him, but yall not there yet....maybe someday. You and your bestfriend aren't talking right now for something that you feel is dumb and trivial, but you realize that you're not the only one with strong feelings in this situation, and your feelings aren't the only ones that matter. Nonetheless, now is the time to put your mental first, with it being so fragile due to recent turn of events. You're so angry and disappointed with her because you thought that your friendship was better than this. You wanna make up, but you're so unsure and blind as to where this will go. Only time will tell. You applied for a school to do sonography, but ended up applying for radiology instead. It was either that or nothing, and you and your kids can't afford nothing...not anymore. The good thing about it is that you can cross-train in sonography and enroll in that class once you become certified in radiology. After all the hope and prayers, you get accepted and can finally see the sun through the stormy clouds. You're scared, but are also extremely excited for what's to come. The real challenge is yet to begin and you can't wait. failure doesn't scare you anymore. There's more going on, but I just wanted to recap the major stuff. I hope future me is happy and successful and loving the career I'm in. I hope I feel more confident and comfortable in my skin and love myself a hell of a lot more in 2025 than 2022. I hope through all the ********, you and Detrell found your way back to each other, and if not, accept that it was probably for the best and are amazing coparents. I hope your kids are happy and healthy and wanting for nothing in this scary world. I have faith that you'll be exactly where you should be. I'll make sure of it. I have 3 years to get my **** together. I'm holding back tears as i'm typing this .Okay let me go before I can't do it anymore 😅 I love you Marcya, and I'm so proud of you, no matter what happens 🙂 Oh yeah....Happy 30th Birthday PS, the tears fell. Shutup, stop laughing, you know we're emotional😭😂

Epilogue

over 1 year later

Well, Marcya. You did NOT get back with your kid’s father. You hated him for a long time, but bit by bit, you’re working on yall coparent relationship.

As far...

Shcol,o the yuo amde it was n!!!i ont bste it ntrg,aed ooch,sl ogt you but gorhthu as. Teak cegauor oeyr’u dbro…as eenb yaer gwinrko to no gaignin , ihts ta rfo nda aynmocp yruo roev eoyv’u onw het a lwloys. Ssap n,amyreo dafeil ti ylou’l nru iegarcnbm mtapett, , uroy yuo act’n you mofr wonk os but i uoy t!i wonk ftris ouy atth next teh ti imte era.
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Raf no uyro but as swa uyo tperyt ltare did dna a fof yare tebs it wlle , as cneoirlce e,nrfid. Uyo llay indfre a eakm dah had lkie efel saenttrcolai to esh yaw ****** hnwe a. Ejdmpu a to ouy eyra her lla she eadh enhw imyalf dna came ti slat. 😂 ,it tub ebveeli su uyo ew igtnhigf acn ?!?! it did. Bakc nra it tuaylalc. Adn ktldea aoyk eyetcllpmo 😌 atth er’ew censi hwit than’ve.
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Of thwi uscebtj a eecontdnc yuo nisf,edr no het wfe. Swa lkey fsrit it ,. Igkronw sye eewr oury sd’ik 😋🤣 trfaeh yuo keyl wlehi ti with fnie elegfsin ,lgri asw uot ruyo ***. Uoy tbu anoeny cidfenoenc , shit ntd’id omeones ot eerw you uot gnaai evgi ot the to heret bcak ays hilew gte piohng ouy ofr. Neht xtne rna onit yrou dna ituqe mhi you lelaitlry eht emt ayd. Mi’ hgnkinit ahwt uyo kwon. Tge fnie ew ??!! saw imh ot uro thta nrteew’ go and ncaehc all nam w’vee hatt twhi igntelt hottuhg lesiv, a. Ucseabe a trap uhogtth of iyclhasp of kile it uwndtl’o oyu a uoy nay oyu stuj eh tnoi moer twne angtwin roitilnepash, splioybs. Idd tub he. I veieble idvnie ni they iurn tel ilek 🏾️🤦‍♀ it eplady ohw to nad thta edllrte tuo ihtngs did itignm utb ew. Saw oyu elfl cxtepe in eapphn hmi ot ’ddtni ubt ovel awth atth uoy twhi. Inces 3220 veha eneb. Btu ieishfpdnr utb fi se,od’tn dan er,om crptese evol layl moe,r ouy oeughn ti him aechsgn tino atsht’ r,taeg to osimghent ti oto ayko fi. Oyu a icsne vaeh lyla nar onit lytosm ceisn him, pslhicya had shionlraitep. Tu,dob ms,bpu emos on hyea tbu. Osem osme dah dan no mtemons too omntmes ,ishnrpfide uyo hrewe nt,mseom fof w’vee eisttng your euqsotidne moes. Sh’e ,now cmeeob rnpeos your. Tbu nto edfirn royu thta eh etbs ,ywa si. Tbs,e fo teh fi ovyu’e eno hda het etbs tno. Eb it leatrguf hwo imh lal plyas dha telealnyr ’lyolu rofevre uyo uot,.
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It fi swa *********** can yrou i tino ntoraeh it nda wno, a yuo enifrd ofmr taps, ran sereicbd. Asw tihs oasiarht fidner , chsa. Atht we idd htat ese we btu ccipin isaad, twih atefr etklad own, solcoh ahtt ew rhe renev iuess had. 0422 ni niot you rhe nar. Our lyla nda deymiimatel su btse ni dl,iecck edvom ihtw ndfrei ecaebm. 😅 rtypet saw drema ti rewe pbanrsleeia alyl pfnrdsieih yuro nyalrex,tle. Su way delivebe pledhe ni leah us enve nhsitg, ehs su, a in dna auhttg. Gtinohsem kacb ttarem anedwt edaesyrtelp pacle to nldouc’t orfm you meoc toko who ubt no ouy htta. Etrapd ylal sawy. Fro bttrie os uoy fdae ewnh dna aayw d’tdni htat ewer dolwu knwo nogl,. Yera, aery oyu was ruoy ta rhe icpcin hits a loosch aetrf salomt. Otbh ahetr sllam to had a trahe yuo. Erwe nehfipirds we vnee so othghu istll we weer dna ttha an,gyr easebcu dsmeis gringiev ltsli. Esh swa oto. Now alyl ot ktal time emit romf. Evha yuro but you dbnraesoui. Uyo aaing ot lecso get rofesuly wt’no wlloa. S’htta nda ayok.
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Rhtonae… gtinh. En,rosp ylal altk ymoaenr o’dnt yoru. Eray stla tol ruht su ehs a. Lto a iekl wohle. Toni staoahir naidk ttha oto flals stbuejc. Ol’luy …katl in , ktdlea watn entv’ha m,nsoht rylale nda laways btu uyo ’ontd elvo lyal to ehr.
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Satl ithng. Tog s’it y,es ihtdr oyu a !!c!!ar your car. Rhe a wlergrna tgo and 😂 uyo bayb ’sti olve yuo hweti. Seh rko,w lil oyur seh ehatr tbu edsen sha a. .
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No…w. 402,2 of ni ew dmebeerc gmcia otsl. Acr saw ylarel ecdtinca dba ni a leraly seh. Eobrk ew erew gnnao ti tedsvteaad iel nda eth lfmaiy lalotyt nto. 20,52 spesad yam of ieaunt ni too and. Oen hte adb thta ubtao fele sotm yuo. Nda ti she rhielgvnemow otg to ni eb mvode. Donraj orem erh no noe mammo, ahnt dlehpe me dan. We dan odaunr to hse aws fyamil say her all ubt oyegodb gto ot. Get it’dnd atth untfroety,uanl 😞 mcgia.
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Niogd in oot w’eer bad otn all a,ll. Vesueslor stlil ewe’r nwgkroi on. Aehv sdya mreo yuo ni uyo skin, uyor rea efndoitcn tub. Dsik uroy re’we 3h0,t 🤦️‍♀🤣🏾 had yuro nda fydnietlei ealthyh rea be uor ,phyap adn now ohhugt on isiscr you ppo a dmlfeii esigbgt 13 anc nso ew. Ist’ in kandi stdltee. Ro pdruo of ’hrtese olfysreu meos syad it n,wo ntdo’ elfe i u’yod it evne see if eb os. 😌🥹 hatt ew rofm 2220 dema it ekarnssd out fo.
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Be 3 in sreya akcb l’il. 😭 43 ta.
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Love aarycm yo,u 🏾😘✌ i.

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