A letter from Jul 11, 2022

Dear FutureMe, I applied to a lot of entertainment agencies yesterday.... is it bad that I did it without telling ANYONE? I didn't even tell my mom. so now I'm lowkey terrified of the conversation that will happen if/when I pass on the auditions. I also kind of feel scared because it kind of feels like I'm throwing my life away and signing my soul to the devil. I think because my culture has conditioned me to think that following your dreams will always fail. And because I know I have a bright future academically, but I literally have had multiple mental breakdowns from yearning to be onstage again! and now I listened to a really good song called (Jesus in la) that basically has a story of a kid who followed their dream and ended up falling into addiction. so now I'm even more scared. because it feels like just as my life is beginning again I'm throwing it away to follow my dreams and find a new life. I'm only 14! but I love to perform, and I do anything to get what I want. and if that means secretly applying to a bunch of entertainment agencies online, that's what I do. idk, I think I just need some words of encouragement. 😔