A letter from May 3rd, 2022

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, For the record I still think about ***** most days. I still dread the idea of spending my last days in a hospital bed strapped to a ventilator or an oxygen tank and I'm still pretty determined to do something about it before I get to that stage. I do think about the effect a suicide (or self-euthanasia) would have on Kira - but I think (if I handle it right) in the long term it would be better for her to know I was in control and doing what seemed right to me than to see me suffering and struggling to breathe for god knows how long. That could be self justification - but who can I talk to about it?

Epilogue

4 months later

Well here I am three and a half years later and my lungs are...

Eablst ltymos. My thwerhe aubot i dne eys to a veha wno em rof coortd l'li flei nat'c to get i inhtk it od dna fi od nfeto. .
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Otn dan litls iusadilc nad mi' eeesdsrpd. Ilrta urtohgh dna vaeel ot tenedudcmo sith ttdeonsrmea to anwt a deen dinm hpel ect atth ot wosh i hlduso e'vi nodus this jsut eerv amy ttghhou.
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Thna hte neeb rof ti is yeras osme elif rbtete on wehlo ash. Phypa ullu dan tllsi era i dan dogo. Im' my ryelalrug givasn is ecmnoi stblea nad. Plyure( oggni hwcih s60 rof os ogt losu enw llwe r)aiignamy a dgoo gnared aer adn is aflt ym a rfa vie' ym pecsa adn.
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Tceunoni os! do ot glno may tehy.

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