A letter from Jan 20th, 2022

Dear FutureMe, honestly if youre still alive, id be impressed as **** rn. remember this time? remember me? im .. i honestly don't even know what i feel. empty. all i know is im close to ending my life. like legit kms, so close it scares me cuz i know if i feel like its time, im definitely 100% gonna do it. theres no stopping me. and i know ill regret it.. so if you're reading this.. congratulations, we won im turning 23 in 2 months how crazy cuz last year 2021 i wrote a su¡cide letter as well just before i turned 22. haha some things just never change huh? i hope it does in you current time. i wish i can see what you've become. what you've achieved, how u manage, are u still single?? if u are, wtf haha u gonna be virgin 4 life?? haha is it fixed? haha i have nothing more to say. ur 26 now right? u old mf i really wish i could meet you. i need advice. i don't know what to do. i can't open up to anyone, i tried.. so many times i just can't, maybe that's just how i am.. im sorry for being this way. and if i did endup doing "it". im sorry i wasn't strong enough. im such a coward and always has been.. i don't get life, it's so easy for some people why is it such a ***** to me haha. u have absolutely no idea how hard the realization hits that I've been in the same position since the very beginning while.. while they.. im.. ... its much easier if i ended it soon, after all i haven't achieved anything haha.. haha..