A letter from Dec 26th, 2021

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, Hey! Long time no see, obviously its been a moment. How is life going? How are your grades? Hope you got the grades you really wanted to get, well us. Right around this time next year we would have set out our University applications, and would have already done so much. I am so proud of you. I know you could so much. I love you. Did we apply to all the universities that we wanted to apply to, it might have been really risky being all BMAT but...? Hope we did that application to Cambridge? If you did, around this time you would have to be doing your Cambridge interviews, if so this email will be some motivation, if so, You've obviously worked so hard, nobody deserves it more than you. I know how hard you've worked (yeah duh I'm you). You are just as capable as everyone else that is going to be there. Please just do you A-Level revision and you will be fine. You have done the hardest part. I can promise you that. Well until you reach medical school but you already know that. It might only be a year from now but you know how it can be, a moment can change the whole course of one's life. How are your friends? Still friends with all the people you made friends with? Even better made more friends? Do you still sing your heart out everyday, even if it bother everyone around you just because you like it? Do you still play the Piano? How's it going with learning the guitar? I hope its going better than what going with right now- How's the dog? How's Dad and our Sister doing? Do we get the diagnosis that we've been waiting for? (probably not but its a good wish to have). How's it been in the relationship department? Hope it's been doing well because you'll remember it's a little lonely out here... Do you have that person who you can unconditionally go to when you want to go talk to? Someone that I really need right now. I really do hope everything is going much better than what is going now. Most importantly, how have you been mentally? Really? There is something that I really need to tell you, something really important, no matter how you feel, no matter how broken you are at the moment. I will always love you. I don't know if you still need to know this, but I probably would have loved to hear this from past me. There is nothing that could stop me from loving you. No matter what, little you will love you with all she has. P.S. Faith says Hi Written, To, 16 Year old you. 17 Year old you.

Epilogue

42 minutes later

Hi past me,

Oh how much I would love to scoop you up and give you the biggest hug ever. I'm so happy you decided to live. Best. Decision. Ever....

Twne hihew,iggtlt a of gto yuo to olst trifs solt uoy ya,prt raey edslreia yruo iths jeyerwl nt'aer nad. Rnaeedl ebigtsg hte saw to htgni of evol oyu that lla, yurlfseo. Dna lelayr atht maetrst all 'staht. You ouy s,ay veig nad ornlge ygsu yrou litsl who ehva bit nselig, ughhto the saiedr asasrtdnd on seahc of attie,nnto acn hstsielgt i. . . Oyln tnycerle ouhgth. Dan nikht a ayw aweomes readsg lelw gngio !go we a*a,b igndo lstil gnlo dee, awmeo,es oapcedmr rea to aer ot oru vhae we i uro.
Just go n'tac and iedt aiytng)nh raledies i (i kcba. .
Ehav 'tis ainnse yanm uoy nief,dsr os edma. Yuo nda anhmu lerargu a neibg acn latk lkei ot usyg. .
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Diedced ebcome a ,unje ot otni rdcoto a ew aehsrecr in mecdail etdruo nath iesmsav dan mdea go. Nhikngit ewre tow ot rtunlaa ,esscneci yuo to obaut yablcails do idededc ileppad and. Smeowea to bceeom iun seorff dna nda ntwa nwo sosybcitp,iih otw ithw ouy erdags a. Ti hnkit nac we od i. Clu duramh nuclyrert you aer giogn or ot taoub hnniktig. Edndesp uoy if sveig forfe ulc hte. Tog ehty eth it dgaicembr tub uoghth morf rewe ofeber uyo wenivtier, rgtih edeesm at ertjecde hirgt as,yld ecddied a itf ,mtie we. Heav hrdsteeat geainrd satl em lodwu yra,e aingminig tish. Vhae so is adn ubt iegernhtyv h,mcu lwel ngigo ew nrgwo os. .
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Hinygant nto,mme ot a ceanhg when cna comse anc it ni ti e,ht. Dare ntrdfiefe uoy aws rndceitio uyo boko a toni lal rfo ot ti ilef owleh okto ot howtr neo ni. Ist deidedc wtha wololf to veery earht sas,y ture uoy adyets uory dan.
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Ylap aetrh nia,po iltsl have i and i ingog i to ew iin,!mvog!r)p tou sya garte nisg is rea my (dan teh taruig eth. Yuo a do wfe ubt oayk tsi rdcohs nt'ca. . . Emht omst llew gtear oigng its of btu nc'at uoy do. 'uvoey aign,a losa up llaeyr hte niyrenag ceidpk nad locle a iolnvi for. I naligtk oyu micus oyu lal acn item het about ltle sikc sadd fo losatyelub. .
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Gnodi rea add bde, is eht ym ftoo het at nda epinlegs teulrrncy odg istrse of meawoes. Uoy ewnt no orabda sirtp ti os aws zcyra yman. Oyu neinpceddnee uoy oprdexle. Got paontmh onlond feer neve eopar a a het ot you ikwi reid fo yb saw dan cahco titosan in the ncie. Uhmc oru rl,soec eth ltsil in adn i gto uor bust't ressti pani. Orm,o otni lsaerml ouy uoyr acme eurt wsih the vomed. Lfosro hte ist rnoeyam ctaper ta'ner zycar!.
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Edsgndaio fo tffus thiw teh ewntda we ootr'cds tsmo hte we otg wtih. Greta out tog nad rtnedu ptyehra, erhntgivye ouy. Tbu wokr hda yamn pdhishsar deam coenbu abc,k ti stih ew uoy we a,yer abeesuc aawsly. Infe royu ucmh esd,rcdeea nsameirig eslpe yoru is vhae ggnio rtpety. Rttmeenat ahtt deiodsgan rae wthi ouy tiwangi eonsseirpd to get tog ltlsi tub. Giucnas iticnemaod hte rewe iemt on epsnoerdis yuo the owsre was eht ta amkngi. Illst had a os muhc whti s!rnpeo het enw ,gwor ouy ot rea kile but new iicenmtado.
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We by llits gtohuh g,lesni won its ybame iceoch. Rof kepe eben uirssto eht oyu soshael tbu hvae hrete nggio stram. Allf oelv uoy uyg ni did a bsu the no wthi. . Hutgoh never nvee kesop yuo mih ot. Imh a eh saw and ay,m uoy rzy!ca ohthug pu, 'vhneat depopp touba khitn ouy lilts it lto ceins mih seen uarajyn. Ubt gnoiwrry tsi i eth haret awht a bit hktin satwn. Eobulrts veah itlesn uadsce of lliw ttha eht aevh ubt ,eenv and emhfsiic to ttah lla all ohw oyru lla lapcsie hits and ndt'o seemoon uoy we yuo yaer ehav tills. Ostm idsrefn lal, utb fo in 0222 teh uory iwll uoy ouy yuo lesrdiea altk to ktal omst het ot all of sronpe oeynp,l. Folryesu.
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I our nebe ondig rg,ate o!ewseam oskcm yaerd nmt,elyla for avhe tgtneig. Whses,alnf as lveel do an lsoa a hscysip olas onw oyu. Wnta purseu bjeucst oyu eifl eth in at,hde utsbejc eht won uoy ,rhgit is eacivlyt ot sey tstha. Hta?t nuynf is owh.
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Ps. A i hse atht asol gao yrea ot ih ahfit dtlo adsi em. Llo.

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