A letter from Nov 21st, 2021

Dear FutureMe, hello 2021 is ending. it's actually ending and I just cannot believe that this year is real. i experienced this year. it's surreal. i feel like my mind and maturity has greatly increased this year, which I'm guessing is the reason why this year was very ******?? cause you know, i got more aware of things and stuff, but I'm not sure myself. this year was ****** and that's it. it's always going very much up or very much down. never in between. but this newfound "maturity" that I have received (in a way) this year has made me realize how pointless life is. how confusing religious people are. and how we just can't win in this society. let's start with religious people. why? why do they believe that god created us just to worship him? why do we need to go through this complex and unimaginable but ordinary thing called life? i feel very violating to think this way, but, god sounds.. i don't know.. a little narcissistic? I've read the holy book my whole life and you know i just.. man i don't know i feel very wrong but at the same time, how can we, as humans, define which is right or wrong in these kinds of things? what, we can by reading the holy book? like there aren't dozens of them, from religions that say that THEY are the right one. THEY are the ones who should be followed. what's the point. I'm so sick and tired of religion being the only thing keeping people from being amazing and admirable. i just hope my parents would stop all of this but you know how it is. it's not impossible, yes, but it doesn't mean the chances are big. I'm just very sick of being surrounded by religious ideologies and people who think they have the right to push those ideologies to other people, like they don't have a mind of their own and their own beliefs. second, society. oh society, society society society. it's just sickening you know? cause again, why do we, as humans have to have such complex minds. if we didn't, this thing called "society" wouldn't even cross our minds. as humans, society is basically the "compass" for our way of living. but why does it have to be that way? how did the beauty standard, for example, were formed? why do we still have to believe in white men about what we should look like? we don't live for other people, so why should we have to be how society wants us to be? ok that's it i guess. tell me how YOU'RE doing. being 18 and ****.