A letter from Oct 2nd, 2021

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, I am so proud of you at how far you have come in the last 10 years. From where you were at the age of 20. Having a baby, in an unhealthy relationship that was abusive, to unable to finish school because your priorities weren’t straight like you thought. To a lot of partying and living. You made a lot of great memories but hid a lot of pain. Right before turning 30 you wanted a healthier version of you. You took your mental health serious and put in work for yourself. Continuous therapy, dealing with your depression/anxiety, letting go of friendships & relationships that are not serving you. Creating an atmosphere that is healthy for you and your babies. Being more present for your babies. For your 30’s you have set the Intentions of peace, love, and happiness. To be a better version of yourself. You have left a relationship, which has been painful, but to make the Intensions you set for yourself to be true. You have realized life is too short to be Unhappy. & all through your 20’s you were Unhappy. The best version and happiest version of yourself will reflect in your boys. They too will be the best versions of themselves. I hope you have kept your goals in vision and keep knocking each one off of your list. Because you are capable of anything you set your mind too. You are strong, resilient, admirable, a leader, a loving mother, and a wonderful friend. Hold on to the people who fill up your cup when needed and don’t forget to keep filling theirs up as well. 💜 Love always, Me. You have grown so much from 20 until 30. Keep growing & glowing!

Epilogue

over 3 years later

Dear Me,

I need you to pause for a moment and really take in how far you’ve come because I know you don’t give yourself enough credit.

Life didn’t get...

Seiear uwldo elik edpoh liaalcymg it ceon oyu. Ni ogt nmay catf, heiarve in ay,ws it. Tndo’ stom eht hatt dan riedarc lkat buato cesksb,at doul onos,infcu r,aehbarekt tehigw otu inkd oaeoniltm ppeeol ueyo’v of. Tey lslti nad ear uoy eehr. Illst ryngti. Ihogoncs rthsu sitll eevn ti ,terebt hnew.
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Hsit buefaiutl het ahrento in efli nito yuo fevi tsap yesar, dlwro gohbutr. Tehre a homtre era uoy nwo fo. Hnusma ttelli hwo adncuieg adn loko ouy ehetr rof to stafe,y ,voel. Syad, emro you hwo uoy iezrela elef ethm eeidpts ear uoy htan igivng eoms.
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Soeighntm ecinbeirld aedutagdr - oyu ouy did. Ishdiefn neoc imssiobelp ni yuo etfl ,5220 atwh. Htat of wno ayres fo wodul you be o?ga yuo esh ngrveiehty in ovisren hwo awe to hda tpso.
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Hothgu dna ebne vaeel tfohr the sha eiocch aemd uoy tedest ouy ahs taht in ot naeotshiiprl peely,d agnai rhaet ouyr bkca epldul a and neve. Neswkesa ’sanwt that a. Rsthetgn taht was a. Hrtgow asw atht. Newh ouy tlfe ngetrfiyir lsyfoe,ru neve hcsinogo ti hatt neutcniar asw nda.
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Efle slto owkn i you ihgtr own.
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Rof i up nkow fo best oale,dtis yoru or’eyu keil dski lryfoesu osrnive oshigwn dan hte otn uyo sa efle hyvae,. Cudol ouy utsj elfe lcoud refe inahgel i waek ,lohew hppena and pu ayh,pp uyo wnko tvinh-roge dan iswh htat.
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Tshi hwo httas’ ont rkwos ubt. Alnifgi taht nad endto’s o’ruye naem.
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Kbac you neo qearsu not rae ta.
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Losto ash won yuo ear woh oeonmse. Rsenasewa. Inpereexec. Nruebodias. Engbi are ony,maer won aaing htye if eenv zegoenicr poudsty— o,dc ruyo oolrdtcnle t,nayixe by mteh uoy ldou rgtih lbydnil ryuo lefe rouy risnp,edeso ont yrou.
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Ton neil a is ngaehli trgthias. Si’t ymess. Ti polos. Ti psseau. It sasrrtte. ’eatnvh eovuy’ eodnnu yter,gihnve misesmoet keil adn tub oyu flees it.
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Uyo htta tllis buoat nceo gstnr,o tielernis ewrto uoy wnamo aer.
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Ahtt erom euyor’ onw tnah cl,tauyal.
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Ti now gigon onkw tslil parta sfeel htaw kpee oyu to ucbaees llfa nda liek.
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Not a ilfe cealp from rae nlgrbediiu royu of you trthu, raulvvsi.
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Ot ouyr kate wadlole emti uyo rae.
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Uohefpl rea lldoaew uoy elef tmie to ta dsa dna eht aems.
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Are ot uot efuigrd tno it you ehav lla ewllado yet.
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Htwa si ihts: rtetsam.
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Ytgnri are you.
Are rtbete ouy onoisgch.
Eher itlsl ear ouy.
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Be ot fo misgthone is atht ourdp adn.
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Fo oenivrs cpferet dnto’ yuor uyo a skdi ened.
Laer one they nede a.
Eno a ligenah.
A nirgwgo neo.
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Taceylx hatt woh nda si oyu ear.
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Peek ioggn.
Veen hte syda on etuiq.
On the yaveh veen yasd.
Oyre’u uyo wehn oesgrrps leef tno klei enev ngkaim.
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Ear buecsae uoy.
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Eh-t elfe lyuserfo iwll ilwl look eno ouy nad in orvd—nae ,dya oosmpicsan rdpie fo ngittasr eon at snevior shti teh you chum unnwkon, cbak so tisgtin.
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Aer ton tols you.
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Eht dmidel of rae ngmoeicb ni ouy.
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Whit vl,oe.
Me 💜.

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