A letter from Oct 2nd, 2021

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, I am so proud of you at how far you have come in the last 10 years. From where you were at the age of 20. Having a baby, in an unhealthy relationship that was abusive, to unable to finish school because your priorities weren’t straight like you thought. To a lot of partying and living. You made a lot of great memories but hid a lot of pain. Right before turning 30 you wanted a healthier version of you. You took your mental health serious and put in work for yourself. Continuous therapy, dealing with your depression/anxiety, letting go of friendships & relationships that are not serving you. Creating an atmosphere that is healthy for you and your babies. Being more present for your babies. For your 30’s you have set the Intentions of peace, love, and happiness. To be a better version of yourself. You have left a relationship, which has been painful, but to make the Intensions you set for yourself to be true. You have realized life is too short to be Unhappy. & all through your 20’s you were Unhappy. The best version and happiest version of yourself will reflect in your boys. They too will be the best versions of themselves. I hope you have kept your goals in vision and keep knocking each one off of your list. Because you are capable of anything you set your mind too. You are strong, resilient, admirable, a leader, a loving mother, and a wonderful friend. Hold on to the people who fill up your cup when needed and don’t forget to keep filling theirs up as well. 💜 Love always, Me. You have grown so much from 20 until 30. Keep growing & glowing!

Epilogue

over 3 years later

Dear Me,

I need you to pause for a moment and really take in how far you’ve come because I know you don’t give yourself enough credit.

Life didn’t get...

Coen it depoh uwdlo eikl aimyagllc ouy easeir. A,fct ogt ni ywsa, in nyma vareieh it. Tsmo oltoanime gtwhei eicarrd e’uyov tuo unofs,ncio btr,ekahaer thta ltak inkd teh dluo adn lpoepe uotba ot’dn of ks,sbtace. Dna yuo rae illts rehe yet. Rgtiyn tsill. Enev ewhn it ngosicho utshr tlils ,tteebr.
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Ya,ers turbhgo ni wolrd aspt natheor inot ivef teh eifl uyo hist lbatiufue. Won a oyu fo herotm eterh rea. Safey,t okol guaendci samhun loe,v uoy ohw ot nad heert tlltie orf. Uyo omse tseepdi ouy you adys, ahtn lfee ehtm ohw iigngv mroe rzlieea era.
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You nceiiblred uagadredt did - mngoeihst uyo. 250,2 enoc nfiedshi ftel oyu bmpssiioel hawt ni. Fo uyo uoy of seary in psot be wea ohw vteheynigr she orensvi gao? to had htat wno wodul.
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Hatt yuo in trohf neeb ot bkac stedet uyo eth dna haorlpnsiite ouhhgt uyro eiochc nad sah areht neev ngaia eaevl emda eypd,el sah a udlepl. T’snwa eseaknsw a ttah. Htta ttsrheng a aws. Rgtwho htta wsa. Aws nihoocsg lfte it grntreiiyf hwen neev s,uyorlef adn crteinnau uoy htat.
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Kwno gitrh onw otls i eelf you.
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Pu ’ueryo efle fro bste wokn t,oidelas ont isdk royu as eayvh, ryufosle of klie and rniseov eht nghoiws you i. Dna elfe usjt onthigrve- hpa,py uyo refe ohwe,l oyu iaehnlg onwk doucl up ppneha swhi i luodc ahtt aewk nda.
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Ton ’atsht hsit tub rwoks woh. Dna youre’ thta tdseon’ mena fiainlg.
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Not eon ouy rea at abkc aqseur.
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Sah rea who yuo oltso menoeso onw. Eanrassew. Eexieencpr. Aoiesurbdn. Inaga era yuor rouy not y,mrnaoe tloconelrd enbig ibdllyn fi neve yb grtih oyru thme oyur heyt d,oc nwo zoreinegc efel xeiat,ny sse,oidrnpe oyu ulod dsy—tupo.
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Neliahg atsighrt not si elni a. Msyes tis’. It psloo. It epsaus. Ti rtssreat. Oyu dnnoue ti ilke vte,ghynier elsef tub e’voyu hen’vta oesmsetmi dan.
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Oewrt llsti htat onamw obuat cnoe relnieits aer ,rgtosn uyo uyo.
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Rmeo own ahtt atnh ala,ytlcu r’uyeo.
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Uoy niggo ot nwko elki llfa kepe adn athw llist it cbeuase leefs onw arpat.
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From elif are ton a fo tr,hut uyo lidbuneirg ilsruvva lapec yuor.
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Odlalew yuo teak uroy ot aer iemt.
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Imte aer nda ldaleow mesa hte at to opflheu lefe oyu sad.
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Not idgfuer oladlwe uoy uto ear all ti ot yet hvae.
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Awth rtstmea t:ish si.
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Era nytrgi uyo.
Bttere aer uyo iocogsnh.
Here rea oyu tlsli.
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Dna duorp hiesntgom be to si that of.
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A cefeptr fo ruyo eedn nvroies oyu ’tnod ksdi.
Rlae one hyte eend a.
A nailghe eno.
A gowgnir eon.
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Atht is ohw aer dna uyo xcyalet.
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Oiggn ekpe.
Sdya no even het euitq.
Adsy nvee on eth hvyea.
Hewn veen namkgi leef reorgssp ’royue you not liek.
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Sbueeac you ear.
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Will pamioonscs ackb yuo atnisgrt cmuh fo ta one d,ya irdep ni yolreufs eon het feel un,oknnw avre—ndo isntitg t-eh ouy liwl inevsor isht kolo os and.
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Ear sotl otn you.
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Ngmbioec lddmie in yuo fo era het.
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L,oev thiw.
Me 💜.

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