A letter from Oct 2nd, 2021

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, I am so proud of you at how far you have come in the last 10 years. From where you were at the age of 20. Having a baby, in an unhealthy relationship that was abusive, to unable to finish school because your priorities weren’t straight like you thought. To a lot of partying and living. You made a lot of great memories but hid a lot of pain. Right before turning 30 you wanted a healthier version of you. You took your mental health serious and put in work for yourself. Continuous therapy, dealing with your depression/anxiety, letting go of friendships & relationships that are not serving you. Creating an atmosphere that is healthy for you and your babies. Being more present for your babies. For your 30’s you have set the Intentions of peace, love, and happiness. To be a better version of yourself. You have left a relationship, which has been painful, but to make the Intensions you set for yourself to be true. You have realized life is too short to be Unhappy. & all through your 20’s you were Unhappy. The best version and happiest version of yourself will reflect in your boys. They too will be the best versions of themselves. I hope you have kept your goals in vision and keep knocking each one off of your list. Because you are capable of anything you set your mind too. You are strong, resilient, admirable, a leader, a loving mother, and a wonderful friend. Hold on to the people who fill up your cup when needed and don’t forget to keep filling theirs up as well. 💜 Love always, Me. You have grown so much from 20 until 30. Keep growing & glowing!

Epilogue

over 3 years later

Dear Me,

I need you to pause for a moment and really take in how far you’ve come because I know you don’t give yourself enough credit.

Life didn’t get...

Eocn ikel ereisa yuo pehdo lwuod yaglaciml it. Ehivear tc,af ti tgo a,syw yamn in ni. Obaut nad mtioanelo ulod elpoep ecsa,bkts teh nidk ltak aecirdr ’ouvey e,kahrbtrae of td’on ico,ofnnsu tath ghtwie tou tsom. Ety rehe isltl nad yuo aer. Listl iytngr. Nhwe neve ti isllt nghiosco re,btet ursht.
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In hte obugrth hronaet rowdl tibauufel shit ouy flie iefv ,ayres into satp. Of own ereht rea oyu a etrhmo. Okol who nda ndcgeaui iteltl hasnmu ,olve to ,esytfa etreh you rof. Them viigng are you woh ispteed ouy meso ,ysad yuo nhta aeielzr meor elfe.
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Dlnieierbc - you dduatgaer ddi you sehingomt. Noec what fetl ,5202 oyu ni fhiiesdn imlsebsipo. G?ao who hse fo of wea rhnveytieg luowd eb ni snoveir taht ot onw yuo eyras ouy dah opts.
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Nohiasrltpei neeb cbak eamd htouhg ni veen htaer uoy esettd uyo rtofh sah yuor eaevl cheoci to nad thta a nad epludl hte ash yl,eped ainga. That a wsat’n snseaekw. Swa htengtsr that a. Taht asw rgothw. Nhwe articnune ghnioocs it ftle yinierrtgf and uoy wsa eevn ,srfolyeu atht.
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I htgri lost yuo feel wokn won.
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As vsoienr hte vaye,h ruyo kids ont t,eaoldis tebs eilk i wkno up fro eefl fo nda uoy ngosiwh yelrosfu oeruy’. Dna fele dna pu tjus uocdl naephp i wheo,l kewa duocl ouy rnvioe-tgh yapp,h wsih refe nowk gialnhe ttha oyu.
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T’ahst not orskw owh tub tshi. Adn s’eotdn filinag htta eo’ryu eamn.
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Ouy rea eon nto earusq at bkca.
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Wno ear woh olsto ouy moeseon sah. Rnaswease. Eneiepxrce. Ndsrauoieb. Roolctelnd tmeh ,xnaytei vnee rihgt oryu uory r,eoanmy cdo, nto odlu lylndib igoczrnee if elfe they won ear benig by oury igana yuo ron,dpessie y—spuotd yuor.
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Si lien not a iegnlha thstragi. Myess ts’i. Ooslp it. It aseusp. It atrresst. Oyu mosseitme eflse yghniteerv, utb it udeonn evo’uy and eathvn’ kiel.
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Lislt nwmao atbuo rea hatt oyu eotrw gsr,nto oecn yuo riesentil.
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Own hatn yat,cllau that meor yu’roe.
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Oyu gonig lafl it keep and lesef hwta isltl eausceb own owkn ilke tarap ot.
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Aer ont fo rh,utt your rmfo iefl ouy a dirbegiunl laecp avvirslu.
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Tiem aer etak to oury you eolldwa.
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Dallowe seam at uoy eht opehluf lefe ot asd eitm adn ear.
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Tey fidreug ehva oealwdl tno rea tou it to lla oyu.
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Htaw is t:his tstmaer.
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Aer grtnyi uyo.
Uoy sgoihcon btetre rae.
Ouy era tlisl ereh.
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Nda ot uodpr of atht is be ionetmsgh.
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A uyor ouy kisd ’ontd dnee fo ctrefpe vensior.
Yteh lrea eedn a noe.
A oen enhglia.
A eno irnoggw.
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Rae and si uyo tcelaxy who that.
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Pkee onigg.
Asdy eenv qutie on eth.
Teh no adys enev aevhy.
Newh even you uoyr’e miknga ilke feel sgoserpr tno.
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Aer uyo uscbeae.
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A,dy bkca tnsatirg at os oanpomcssi okol ucmh ouy flee —nraedov e-ht eth gstntii nn,kouwn will iwll in veonisr noe htis of nad uerosfly oyu noe eirdp.
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Are not solt you.
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Diledm hte rae oyu in fo biocngem.
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L,voe whit.
Em 💜.

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