A letter from Jun 16th, 2021

Dear Future BITCH Summer 2021 is here baby... I don't really like summer tbh but this is my last straw <3 If nothing changes this summer, if the void inside my soul doesn't get filled I simply won't be able to survive my two senior years:) which basically means, that I am going to kill myself :) So something interesting better happened to you bitch. I posted a tiktok already but idc this seems more official. (also mind you this is to hopefully be continued over years that's why I wrote down adult stuff too) Before summer 2021: -age: 16 -status: single -kissed: 0 -bodies: 0 -Piercings: 2 -tattoos: 0 -romantically hugged (lol so cringe ew): 1 -romantically held hands: 1 -confidence: - 1000000/10 -happiness: / -feelings: suicidal :) depressed etc. -future? This is my last hope. I can't continue to live the same life for years. I am so empty. Please something has to change. -friends: 2 (cousin and brother) -best friends: 0 -snap score: 929 -got drunk: 0 -did drugs: 0 -school? I think I'll pass yey -height: 5'4 / 1,69 (I think) -hair: brown blonde ombre, long and unhealthy lol -body: untrained, I get called fat, fat, undefined, ugly -fav memory: idk honestly. -fav song: stereo hearts, all the ways to stay away, after dark -fav movie / TV show: anabelle -current obsession: *was* mcyts but nothing atm Now random questions: -did I go to a therapist? -did I learn anything new? -did I open up again and more importantly got hurt again? -did I fall in love? -did I figure my sexuality or identification? -do you feel happiness? -can you feel sadness??? -can you feel? Ugh... I hate having high expectations, but what the fuck am I supposed to do? I can already feel the disappointment. I hate myself. Anyway. Please tell me living for another 62 days was worth it:( Byeee for now. Please try to live :( ... Please...