A letter from December 24th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, it’s christmas. i’ve never felt this down this time of year. no snow :(( i’m so stressed and scared about the next few days. i’m 100% sure i have an eating disorder, and i just can’t bring myself to enjoy the food. i plan on recovering once i hit 45/43kg, so i hope i’m already in recovery once you get this, but knowing you i doubt it. you’re eighteen now. feels weird just typing it out. i hope you were able to celebrate how you wanted to. how is covid right now? maybe you’ve already gotten vaccinated. i hope so. how did your grades do?? i’m planning on studying every day of 2021, because i need a ridiculously high gpa to get into psychology studies. my sister lives with us right now, does she still do that? it’s very hard, both considering my ed and her getting mad over absolutely nothing. i don’t have much else to say, i think. i want to ask about elias, but i know it won’t matter. we don’t really speak to each other anymore. he started ignoring me back in october, and for some reason i still think i have a shot with him. this is just getting tragic. have a nice summer