A letter from October 7th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, Hey, I'll give you a little rundown of what's going on right now. I have court on the 15th where I testify for the first time. I decided to start visitation with Amanda again. I will no longer live with the Vaughns on November 1st. I still have therapy with Josh. I am on Zoloft still. I self-harmed a couple of days ago. I just deactivated my old Instagram, Facebook, and Gmail. I feel numb but also happy, I don't think that I am truly processing everything. CJ is in a shelter doing great, he called me three times in a row. I'm trying to finish up school so I can graduate next year. I haven't looked at colleges yet, and I'm contemplating joining the Air Force when I get out of high school. Now I have some questions 1. Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend? 2. Is your relationship with Amanda good? 3. How many years did Spencer get? 4. Rate your anxiety and depression. 5. Are you happy? 6. What's a goal you have for the future? 7. Did you join the military? 8. Are you taking care of yourself? 9. Have you gotten better at singing? 10. Have you lost weight? 11. Have you stopped self-harming? 12. Suicidal thoughts? 13. Have you learned to love yourself? I don't know what else to say except that I hope that you are happy, and I mean TRULY happy. You have come so far and I hope you never stop moving forward in life. I love you don't you forget that.

Epilogue

almost 3 years later

1. Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend?
Yes, I do have a boyfriend now, his name is Devin and we've been seeing each other for...

A uaotb hntom onw. . Ear elwl nhtsig iggno. Twih to mih i'm be ahpyp learly. .
2. With yoru si go?od aandam eipoanihsltr.
N,wo sey. Ogdo so. Otyad a ot otl eerhw eb fo hsa si mom she wrko deno. S'she a ubnigy houes ulrntcrey.
3. Enrspec idd tg?e aymn who seary.
Tog 3 sraye i eh eeeibvl. Ellh' out osno eb. .
4. Oruy psoirsened nad inxytae rate.
Sa erpdsionse yatxnei 5/10 ewll ysda si 5/01 otsm. Efroeb etrbte hnat.
5. Uoy rae ?pyaph.
Ma se,y i ho. Yiflnla ma i.
6. Uefurt? ouy asthw' the rfo ehav a gola.
Oecomgyotsl antw soohlc i to dhrneci'ls frteso rhia idbar og nda ot.
7. Imi?rlaty did het jino uyo.
Nyaexti evha esulrfoy 'ntdo ,no ,ssiprdenoe adn oyu dki lol.
8. Of gtanik rea earc osefur?yl ouy.
Trso of. Nritgy ot. Lea-fehst ssle hwit gthu,ho erbtte asw i ahnt m'i.
9. I?ggnsin at ttgoen aveh etbret ouy.
Yda ,aveh etebtr nikth reah setg i yevre ti i i.
10. Stlo eg?twhi evha yuo.
Tlo a. Nhte aubto wno swa raulyelrg 108 im' inttisg ta i 031.
11. Lhefgmai-r?ns uyo sopdtep vahe.
Yse. Otnmsh ncael! nad i eayr 1 ma 6.
12. Asicidul osthhtgu?.
Otn m,huc eyth sa og od dan mceo. .
13. Naerled ot usr?yeolf ouy eolv heva.
I'm who nitrastg to nrlea ot. . . Be bzeree vytulaenle deocinsi yad a illw a tsi' ti eevry. .

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