A letter from September 22nd, 2020

Dear FutureMe, Happy (late) 22nd! So weird... Do we have our ID yet? Kinda reget putting it off, to be honest. Rob took me out to dinner for my birthday. Obviously I couldn't drink since I don't have my ID (whoops) but honestly, I think that's a good thing because I cannot handle my liquor. Speaking of Rob, are you two still together? Hoping so. He reminds me of Gatsby which scares me but I like him a lot. He's so tall and handsome and fun to makeout with but also he's got a good head on his shoulders and not gonna lie, that scares me because I'm 21 and have no clue what I'm doing and he's about to graduate before I even have a full year of college under my belt. Yikes!! We finally had *** by the way. Like fully in. Was totally not in the mood but I wanted him to finish so we kept going until he came. He kept hitting my cervix which was painful but okay I guess. I wonder what it felt like for him. So weird that I'm not a virgin anymore, and it happened so quickly. Kiss on first date (first kiss), making out the next day, and then *** 3 weeks later THE DAY he asks to go steady. So strange, so out of character for me. Are you still working at Barnes? Things have been going weirdly well for me lately. I'm preparing for it all to come crashing down around me... Spooky! Rob is more mature than me in our relationship and I'm scared he'll lose interest. I've never kissed anyone before let alone have *** so it's hard for me to really be fully in the moment because holy crap my head doesn't ever stop. Like I'm a tad insecure so it's hard to fully commit and not feel self conscious about myself and body. I talk a lot. He likes to have quiet *** and oh boy I don't do silence. Might ask today if we could play some quiet music, because I need a distraction. Last night I told Ash that I felt a little insecure dating someone so out of my league and she said something like "then why are you in a relationship??" and it kind of hurt me. I like him and want to date him, that's why. Am I scared? Yeah. But can you tell me that I'm pretty or that he's not out of my league or something instead of just asking why I'm dating someone if I'm feeling insecure? Like it's valid I guess but still... "girl shut up! You are amazing!" not that I'm fishing for compliments but it still doesn't make me super happy. She did the same with Jackson too. Can't wait to get those letters to be honest, like **** it was so amazing dating him for the short amount of time we dated (despite being polar opposites and him making me not feel so great. Dates were fun though and ******* physical contact gives me such a high, so first time cuddling was amazing.) Are we still living with Ash by the way? Assuming we are. After the lease is up, what's next? Live with her still? Maybe Rob? *wink wink* Anyways, I hope you have a nice day, I hope you've had a wonderful birthday, and tell your friends I said hi!