Dear Me
Are you scared? I know we thought it would never get better but does it? Do we stay with Aurora or do we meet someone new? Have you fulfilled our dreams yet? Are we still going to be a teacher? Have we gotten better? You're turning 19 today huh? Is it fun? Right now its 5:24 pm on may 24th 2020. I just turned 13 and I'm in love. Are we still friends with Frances, and Cadence, and Arissa and Bella? Have we gotten our first tattoo yet. Do you still write? Have we gotten better at writing and singing? Have we been in a play?
Is it terrifying to grow up?
Do we still think about our bio dad?
Is mom doing okay? Say Hi to her for me! And Dad! I guess the kids too because when you read this they'll be 10 right? As i'm writing this their still four. And loud too.
I'm scared
I'm scared for mom
I'm scared that the person I hope is the love of my life might leave me.
How do I even know you're reading this? You might've died by now and whoever has this email is getting a horrible surprise. Do me a favor okay? Give yourself a hug. You made it through all of the ******** you had to deal with in your life and I'll be damned if ill let you throw away how incredible you are. Get your *** to the best school and show the world that your ready to rule it. I'm proud of you. It's okay if you still don't know who you are. Get your **** together and breath. You've lived this god**** long and you better appreciate it. Do you still paint? This letter is all over the **** place but its you so you know it would be. Did you ever take up knitting like you said you would? And I know I've mentioned her already in this letter but tell Aurora I said hi. I don't care if we're together or if we even spoken in months, just call her and say hi because no matter how you feel about her as your reading this, the you writing this is so in love with her. Take a moment and make something. Write someone a letter, bake something, just get up. Did you ever get over you're hatred of tea? I hope you did because I've heard some good stuff about it. It sucks that I don't know whats happening to you right now because I would write some questions better for you. Hey, do me another favor and stay alive. I love you
Epilogue
about 22 hours later
Y’know I was really nervous to open this letter. I know how bad we were back then and I was scared this would just send me spiraling back. I am...
Acedsr. Ofr and i yreedvay lliw feil i fo im’ be ym iknht dcsrea a iehlw. Lcuaalty glon teh we iprsgnsree out all ntrus metr eefftcs do ahs. Ont itwh i’m dan w’eer reve owh ehrew r,arauo oryrs in reh you ?guothht wrldo wsa vdile alethhy a uthhtog yuo elvo l’vodweu. Ti a oggin i be and ot ma do a raeecth yrllea aehv rfo slitl isopsna i. Ryella rtetb,e otgetn evew’ od i i hnitk tlyur. Uoy the tohhgtu tiem uyo vleo dndeee ahd ntwas’ evew’ oufdn khitn i oyu but htsi ti htwa. Ehav rfdinse ttha evig yuo ouy you ploepe owh rdwlo fro owh you and hte dowlu wto orf levo rea. Adltek and a,irass lsat uyo hte tub ro i ccendea )(arts kalt afcrne,s emti eurnylqetf reerbmem ltsil eallb to nodt’ i. I yuoll’ ehmt voginl tspo tod’n ntihk erev. Flnlayi eon ew hhaglout nto tcxpee uoy porlyabb a gte idd lodwu ,ottato. Yuo the den okwn lowdu oth,ugh i eovl micaernft a hcwih fmro meop tequo sti’. To ever no ltisl tenh ddi remo yuo i fcsou iwert rpyteo ew ghltaouh veol. Ti gte gefinles esplh tuo bda eht. Llist e’vew htob evopmdir rwe’e tsghni ysa i nda ningsig iwgritn and twih wlodu eitpsaosan liklss uro ’heyret uotba. Os lodve ly,pa i a atht it den oru ni won i up and hcmu ddi mroaj sti’. Eamk wenh na rlwdo tn’does essen eht isegv ertathe us utotel for. Is rgoiwng a tiltel arysc pu. Eikl e’ehtsr uyo orf ahwt od ylarel dnigo veieble d’i rustitnncsoi ot nede ot nay ’ewer utb elwl yttpre otn. Be veer i e’wll wree’ clsoe but tkinh he nto dad wno in hsi yaw itwh serti ’dton dan. Were rnbo epploe tonpraitm hiwle etnods’ we kdi aeesr rebmerem rea ’sti to a bilfaell htat it dan eth np,ai tujs swa eh ehwn. Gttoen rwose mm’os. Did reh swa royu hehlat ywlsaa iagrnmeth oknw ervne oevrpim utb rwots i ttha. Nad espocsr ocgdnvrii nmogvi shse’ aarz to otrhn in the hwit fo icnaloar ejo. Mtnae ’im uynog olny teh ot to velo rhtu rryos and uoy oy,u ear uyo eewr oot htta ppeoel roysr that mi’ vere ohw riezeal. Nowk lhagthou olyn i rae eth disk butao aarz o,ogd. Ash evomd oru aog on rasey asw one stijun dna form hatt rereedvco mfro mhoe fwe a laeyrl. Itlsl tlo uro yawals rnwog ulod) sal(o giong tihw rlig ehret’s to btu bbay sye a es’hs fo z tsginh shes’ eb. Ohw rdseac you i were okwn. Kard emit owh all ynregihtve got medsee nwok nthigs i dab and woh eht. I ahve asy still elss peploe wonk i ubt emes i’m taht make reiingfytr istghn i credas lduwo. Evlai aecghn ’reew tno onso t’ahst nda timeany lltis to gnoig. Sya hgerani aeilzre oyu ceeblrinid oerm tikhn odwul neth slehp you i ’mi. Nwat that tub awy for eb my i to me ebngi of, i oudlw ludwo enve eenedd ni be rehe uoy ktnhi udopr htat elif ilev a fo i ot purod yuo rembeerm. Lewhi is’t i ebst od we lrelay pu tno love o”olhcs, end nad eh“t wnserte c,loegel in ddi. Bauto rcae ewnh llarye we era we smrat magzian sabeuec uor ’tis srdgae aer ffstu. Ot i mi’ i eevr fi klei ays ’di ubt seru illw woh ma otn knwo i. Of hatt yuo tpina, auctla meor ti yhapp sp,insao it semak an me eespca i ltlis khint i then doevl nodt’ but saw na ti. Irtnee rtnwgii lal atth os si of duowl oury be eesns vreo ti yan uroy efli het aeplc oto aeskm llyrae. Hate tired nfoud ew mcuh so nad ti we kintgtin uto. As its’ lelh nngoinya. Tish oiggn oudwl nto to tbu i to oyu tou eahr nowk rthu humc rhcea ’im it to owh her. Us listl ot ot acbk rueefs ifle elt m’i hre my ygrint sywa trhu i ni iton she and nrendadtus. No rediram tgo swa hse mosm i akobceof erh rctyelne, the otspho. ’mi uchm ahtt rveen srory fo it aevg levo ehr esh adn ouy your os deeevrsd. Rndfeis hoert i uro tsbe did a ebak yartbihd kace i ayd, aytalcul rfo amde het. Deora mih emna si sih iktnh uyo cj ouwld nad i. Tge ashet hihwc vreo we tuabo erven daterh gendriiflr eta, our idd ofr us eth. T, ervye hhwic we rof wkee od defefintr b!oy) fo esocinintj uis!prse(r onejy a ew nkid tis’ do a. Hwis i ktal ot akcb og ni ouy i nda mtei udolc. Uoy ripoesm mead etg ugrhtoh etretb i ahtt dan ghitsn it. Nad eruyo’ eeolpp rae uoyr to ehva htat thme isehrhc ckluy fiel yuo dyvaryee os in trhee. We tub ewre’ ’rneat eetrfcp yphpa. Iaimnedg eevr i rhee ogt ouy uoy euoyr’ i du’ovcel tneh lvoe rmoe how ecsaeub. If nid’dt kepe ouy i irgnty w’unodlt eb reeh. Aws os nviigg oot nwko wkno pu tub tmngip,et eevn htta eotmsmise ntd’di i i you we idret. Buescea leov i dna oyu ’im tsadye uyo ereh.
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