A letter from May 24th, 2020

Time Travelled — almost 6 years

Peaceful right?

Dear Me Are you scared? I know we thought it would never get better but does it? Do we stay with Aurora or do we meet someone new? Have you fulfilled our dreams yet? Are we still going to be a teacher? Have we gotten better? You're turning 19 today huh? Is it fun? Right now its 5:24 pm on may 24th 2020. I just turned 13 and I'm in love. Are we still friends with Frances, and Cadence, and Arissa and Bella? Have we gotten our first tattoo yet. Do you still write? Have we gotten better at writing and singing? Have we been in a play? Is it terrifying to grow up? Do we still think about our bio dad? Is mom doing okay? Say Hi to her for me! And Dad! I guess the kids too because when you read this they'll be 10 right? As i'm writing this their still four. And loud too. I'm scared I'm scared for mom I'm scared that the person I hope is the love of my life might leave me. How do I even know you're reading this? You might've died by now and whoever has this email is getting a horrible surprise. Do me a favor okay? Give yourself a hug. You made it through all of the ******** you had to deal with in your life and I'll be damned if ill let you throw away how incredible you are. Get your *** to the best school and show the world that your ready to rule it. I'm proud of you. It's okay if you still don't know who you are. Get your **** together and breath. You've lived this god**** long and you better appreciate it. Do you still paint? This letter is all over the **** place but its you so you know it would be. Did you ever take up knitting like you said you would? And I know I've mentioned her already in this letter but tell Aurora I said hi. I don't care if we're together or if we even spoken in months, just call her and say hi because no matter how you feel about her as your reading this, the you writing this is so in love with her. Take a moment and make something. Write someone a letter, bake something, just get up. Did you ever get over you're hatred of tea? I hope you did because I've heard some good stuff about it. It sucks that I don't know whats happening to you right now because I would write some questions better for you. Hey, do me another favor and stay alive. I love you

Epilogue

about 22 hours later

Y’know I was really nervous to open this letter. I know how bad we were back then and I was scared this would just send me spiraling back. I am...

Drcesa. Ydyvaeer a eihlw of for eb i’m illw nda htnki i i iefl my draces. Scftefe lal do mter nsseepgrri eht ataculyl tou we gonl sah untsr. ,oarura videl a wthi nda hgtothu in weehr to?thhug weer’ sryro veoudw’l wdrol hwo mi’ voel oyu you tno wsa hre ahytleh rvee. Dan a ofr i be sosinpa it stlli ogngi ot i am vhae od llyrea a rahecte. Lrytu rtt,eeb ’eevw etotng i reylal i thnki od. Tihs it evw’e teh i tguothh ouy btu nitkh you olve wtns’a edeend fuodn had you temi tawh. Igve yuo rof you two peloep nsdreif hte leov fro era heva lwodr oyu dan ohw ohw oyu dowul ahtt. Kdelat dcacene but rbreemem ouy ()astr bllae dto’n atls ltka ot tllsi i i meti ro yunelqretf and sanfc,re the ,asrisa. ’uoyll reev ospt iknht i mhet n’dto gvonli. Htolgahu cpxtee llyanfi we ont a oyu oen egt did ,tattoo ludwo abbrlypo. Ihwhc i tequo ’sti nde mrfo rftnameci the luwod a wnko eopm go,hhtu oyu oelv. Tewri ofcus aguhloth ew omer i love tllsi vree ot ddi nteh uyo no ryoetp. Ti teg bda hsple eht fgieelsn uot. Dolwu iltsl dna wree’ nisingg uor wnrgiti roiedpvm ’heryet aesoaitsnp sllkis wthi ngisth evwe’ i thbo yas otuba and. So htta rjmoa our dan a s’ti i hcum dloev ya,pl ni idd den nwo it i up. Eakm retetah su senes otd’nes na vesig nhwe olrdw rof utolte the. Sacry liltte igwrogn pu a si. Lwle yuo laryle ayn rsotsnitunci nidgo to eedn ’rwee ot otn rof tub eshert’ eeilveb hatw di’ like tepytr od. His tseri tiwh i wno ni ’llwe be eh dna vree dda oscle but erew’ ton itknh ywa do’nt. Was whne eh oleppe to elafblil ti lwhie errmbmee ikd a ip,an ew just erew htta and eears era hte ti’s noe’sdt rbon omtrpinat. Sweor entotg smm’o. Evrne i saw uyor nokw irpveom rwtos lyaswa lhteha htta did tub ehr ienhmagrt. Adn imvngo opsrsce rzaa vrigindco jeo ithw in ot of hse’s nlarocia eth nhrot. To uyo hte nda ahtt atnme orrsy vree ynlo im’ hatt oto elvo mi’ to ewre lzeaier sorry ear uygon ohw hrtu peelop y,ou yuo. Kwon toaub are do,go araz the onyl i ikds gatoulhh. Ash on fmro uro was a htat dovme one nad aog lyaler few jisutn mheo seayr omfr eeordrvec. Eb ronwg tishng ths’ree with gril gogin a ot esh’s ubt sey alsywa our z fo soal( olt olu)d yabb shse’ tslli. Nwko rewe earscd owh yuo i. Ohw got bda enhgyteirv eht and i imet kdra snthig kwno eedems lal owh. Itlsl peelpo ahev i doluw ignths akem emes sles tath i asy btu sdeacr wnko ’mi i inyirgretf. Ot noso ’eewr ileav ecnhga nyamiet not and ggnio t’hast tills. Idebenlicr lphes i mreo riazlee ays rihgaen uoy wdlou nhet hktin oyu ’im. Fiel ayw ttha htta ntaw fro fo, to edneed my in oyu drupo i be pordu inbeg i odlwu ot eliv i tub nvee eb ereh tikhn me a ermeberm fo ouy oulwd. Esbt ned ehwli “the etwnres i ’tis we lscoh”o, idd evlo ont up llryae nad od el,lceog in. We aer ist’ ecra yellar ew nweh srtma uatbo gizmnaa ardseg cesbaue ear sffut our. Wnko to i woh fi i’d wlil sure ont yas i i keil am m’i tbu eerv. An of cepase i em ondt’ eorm hatt tenh was ltacau iapon,ss ltils na it yapph ,inapt it it utb htnik dovel saekm i you. Iigtrnw kasme oot dowul yruo fo arylel etrine plcea senes eb os evro si feil all yna eth it uroy atth. We tuo chmu dna etdri it so nigtkitn fondu we htea. Lhel nonnyagi sa s’ti. Oyu otn ot i ruth ehar ucmh itsh ohw mi’ nigog aerhc oudwl nwok to ot hre uto it tub. Su ym ltlis and snduetnrda her into lte fiel im’ seh wsya nrygit i ot ni uthr ot acbk rfseue. No gto saw hes erh hte le,etycnr osmm otohps fekaocob i irreadm. Eavg fo it uoy dan ruyo ehs vneer ovel revddees erh os rysor ttah uhmc ’mi. Eakb uro orf toreh het steb did i a i lytlauca a,dy iefrsnd emad ihtybrda kace. Yuo mhi ish amne wldou cj eodra si dan i hktin. Rlifdnegri oatbu our heats edtarh us ew chwhi e,ta ofr roev ddi nerve eht get. A fo t, a kidn eterifnfd revye !o)by hwihc joney s’ti rof do ocnjitesin do we sir(!erusp ew wkee. Uyo doluc tkla kacb hswi i etim go in nda i ot. Uyo ioesrmp i higsnt trbeet and gte thta deam hguohrt it. Yuo ceihhsr htat trehe adn ot yvyeedra htem os vaeh eryo’u lcuky ni poeple ryou rae lfie. Ew eerw’ pyhap etrpecf e’ntra utb. I hwo imangdie then ogt emor here voe’dclu levo rvee i you oyu acuebes rueo’y. Eepk ’dnluotw d’dnit gyrnti here ouy if i eb. Up ni,gtempt thta i edtri oot os temmissoe nivigg wnok i asw ouy enev owkn ew tn’did but. Eucaebs loev uyo i dan syedat eher ’im ouy.

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