A letter from May 19th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, It's been a hectic start to the year, I remember on the 1st of January I that 2020 was going to be the greatest year, the last year of high school, I was possibly going to see my long distance boyfriend, Sean, who I hope I'm still with in the future, if not... then it'll be okay, I promise. Unfortunately this coronavirus shocked us all. Formal was cancelled amongst other things and I feel that Sean got the biggest hit between the both of us. He started getting distant and I was getting so scared that he was losing feelings for me. Everything was building up until I finally confronted him, I told him how I felt and he told me how he felt. I hope he's not as bad as comforting in future, I love him but boy that man has got some tough love. He's been sleeping all day, poor bubba, sometimes I just want to feel him hugging me and I want to just hold him, like it's a craving and I just know that once I do get to hold him, I don't know if I'd be able to let go. I hope by the time this letter is sent I would've seen in him person. I want it to be this year, I'm just so upset that this Covid-19 ruined it, but I can wait and I hope he can too. every time I ask him he's said he's been waiting his whole life so he has the patience. I really love him and I just can't wait to be with him, finally be able to kiss him and grab his face and play with his hair and hold his hand. School is actually pretty decent, I've made so many friends like Jacinta from my art class, and a few my acquaintances. and I'm very on top of my work. Also a couple of girls from our friendship group dropped out and I'll be honest... there has been like, no drama in the group. its been quiet af and I am so thankful because I was about to blow up at one of them, you know who I'm talking about. To the point where I don't really have much to do at school so I just sit there. My business course is doing pretty good too, I got some friends there, it's a little boring though but that's okay because I'm sure it'll be worth it in the future. Not too long ago I blew up, I had a massive fight with my parents and it didn't go to well, I ended up having the biggest panic attack but I feel like I cleared a lot of things up with my mum, since that was a bit rocky. I was hiding so much from her and I think that just turned into resentment so we got angry at each other a lot (sometimes she says some mean stuff) but I've become more open with her... Although there's always that one statement which just makes my emotions YEET. But I don't think that'll ever change. Ooh! Milani has gotten so big now and she has this crazy, adorable, kinda scary smile and I would just die for her. My mental health is at its peak, I have not exercised in over a week and now I just got my period and not it's more of an excuse to eat ****, but that okay. If it tastes good the calories don't count. I wonder how the situation with Anna is, are we still friends? did she go to Kiribati like she said she would? is she working hard and is she still interested in drawing? I hope she's doing well and tell her I said hi for me. I hope dad is okay, I'm really scared that his cancer is going to come back and his body is just going to get weaker and weaker to the point where if he gets it again he'll just be in pain. I'm so glad he didn't get it this year with the virus around. I don't think I would be eating properly or live properly if that happened. I really wish he could quit smoking but I feel so helpless. please tell me he's okay. I want to know how my future is too. I'm really scared of how it'll turn out, what am I going to do? what if I don't end up successful and I don't get good money and I end up broke and I don't make enough to pay for bills or to live. I know what I want to do but I don't know if I have the abilities to achieve that, I don't know how to get there. I hope that I have a little but figured out, and I hope Sean and I are still together, working hard to be together. I don't mind paying for his ticket to come her and I would even fly over there. I'm not really sure what else to say so I will stop here for now. I wish you nothing but health and happiness. touch ************* wood. I love you.