A letter from May 15th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, it is currently 2:50 in the morning. i just want to say how proud i am of you for making it. i know it hasn’t been easy and i know how much you struggled to get here but you are here and that is so amazing. so many things have made you feel like you aren't enough but you are and you know that. you have made it another year when you thought you wouldn't even make it another week. you stayed and you worked your *** off to be who you are and yeah things get hard but you are so strong. i hope that if you are with someone that they treat you so well and not how we are being treated right now while things have been getting better you know this isn't how you should be treated and right now i love him and i know that i always will. he will always hold a special place i just hope you realize that maybe he isn't who you want forever and i know that if you are with him you are going to say he has changed but has he really. i hope that you are finally happy with who you are and you realize that you don't have to look like models to be pretty. i hope that you can accept yourself and that you could maybe help others by sharing your stories and seeing all the support you have. i hope you are still best friends with lauren. i know that her being away will be hard and she is going to make new friends. i just hope you guys don't lose each other because she has been your rock through everything but if you guys aren't just know you are going to be okay. hopefully you have gotten your tattoos or at least one. you are so strong and i'm so proud of you for getting up everyday and fighting to stay on this earth because your purpose has not been fulfilled yet. you will do wonderful things. you are beautiful. you made it through 100% of your worst days to be here and i'm so proud. never let your heart stop beating before HE says it is time to join HIM. you made it another year. stay strong babe. I love you. Love, your past self.