Dear FutureMe,
are you happy now? do you wake up feeling like there is a reason for you to be awake and alive? have you found love in a person, a friend, family, are you in love? have you recovered from your eating disorders and is your anxiety any less? do you eat food and not question it? did you ever tell your parents that you're struggling? how's coryn and what happened with the boys? is chaos still healthy? is your mom and your relationship any better? when did corona stop controlling your life? hows high school, did you make freshman year memorable? how often do you smoke now? did you lose interest in school, did you lose your faith in your success? did somebody break your heart this year? are you over drake still? did you ever get to kiss jack or have you kissed somebody and really meant it? are you okay? i hope you love life. - mena :)
Epilogue
about 5 years later
hi mena. i am happy for the most part. i definitely wake up with purpose - i wouldn't say i 100% feel alive yet though. i have found lots of...
I yhangnti a nad werto ftle i nhta reve newh reivcdoesd dah sith evi si drwol elo,v fo enunige oemr terelt unlegiafmn hatt oevl. I llwe ma sa oevl, in. Has i astle fdonu dne veha who adn i meard acn utb sonepr ughtta be woh nca ekli at ti make u,p tl'li ndo't elov me kwon a uyo hatw wereh. Ntsigh envre add erahtyp ot yelarl owh ma e,b autbo itmedtad nac dba haev hoesnt yaienxt i anbge i nad mmo ym adn tub. Emuncactimo llwe, regert rigahsn tub ym o'ndt ehty yteh aekm nto did enegflis saol em. Aevh how no yornc is i ylnohets idea. Ew krilneedd dan osmporoeh i a yaer, reh khtni venre o'ndt vei' nsoekp in ot years, owt eatfr dirpheisfn. Eyth etm dnid't rea enw nad htta teraf i hwo i i i know newh otwer htsi eefnidd whta own eploep ma enev how. Dovci e"th zrayc( it cdllae tih noc)aro envre eratf out i sb"yo niaga atht ghnu nda i. Opp ot htugho hwo elfi, ni pu teyh ym inudcteon nyfnu sti. Ihtw (nto all now is uto ,efca ym ohw to tills) naghs ethy as het trdteea wten byoidnfe,r pmor nteatb and on mtei uryo ym kendel ttae ofr uoy olipazeodg htiw cbela datgin tenw ot me,aomrot ahno but now. Itsh eakm het i'nddt tpsa ti smruem etwro hocas tath uoy. Tbu i elik dsog i otn'd ltils eaonmry miss ,imh. Rysa,e tsi sdue mrdpeoiv eberemmr mom what ot to i rdah mhuc nda ervo ym eht os it eb ikle. Hes smake ti uchm sutj how tbu w,on me ads uessrtglg. Hwo eomdl a ahtt easmk i eervn watn me ti eb esh asd of is to. Evha lhoosc odgo riyltacen eray memsoeri i o,emrmbeal do morf not ghih tbu aws rsahnefm. Dlisfe hgntis plelkbalic ,tale ogtrhuh dan yaligpn rca uoekas,mt innrnug tou. Inag rubusa nad dninres ni hte nuestss twih het ntkur of. Srdive slaupoe on eth. And i hits gnoe so htta of shwi ti aosl repldei a kuescd mi olt, wno it ot dah osoner btu i ofmr arf. Hngueo ngsdinoerci at i ianga unfny ainsgtrt mesko mi ubt ,all td'no. Tub osunia,x tsi rbeett ywa ervo mi a,yw - sltli nda rwryo dfoo lstil i. Ti datsicet ym grlneo on asyd. My secsucs ddi leso oupdr in ftiha and lchoso ton i ni hfoutg rhhogut wya atht a semak me i. Adrmdee i rhwee of, ihsntg ahev dna ot grtae i i dclmcaohisep got. Eht btu yan i - rdha sya saw now ulcdo ubt fo tis hwat fi het ihtrg tseb i did it kwne to nevgi i coiehc. Veetnayllu it ni did btu nhpeap dbnos'yo ehrta hl,aewi my beknro. Eybatoulls ndeitas ,jack eb isgknis uyo htat ovle fo u'yod ot shi but in lfel rdfleoo iwht erdnif bset kwon. Ayslp sa'tth uto btu owh it ynunf edn 'tdind l,lew lfei yalelr. Ym nac ehwvnree ikss ertrnuc i i ybrfndeio. In ot em eben orf ephdo hawt a yug yawlas he's i. Vloe wtha m'i oevl at i wn,o tub dbliuing herwe i notd' mi'. .
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