A letter from May 7th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Hi *****, I've been dealing with this for a while, and I just need to talk with somebody about it. I think that I may be Lesbian or Bi. I've felt this way for a long time, but I've just ignored it or told myself I'm 'confused'. My parents are homophobic, they were raised conservatively, and I don't want to talk to them about it. They don't know yet. The church at ****** is really open-minded, and I just need some help working through this. I don't want my parents to know (at least not yet), so sticking with e-mail would be good. Thank you for being there, ***** That's the letter we just sent to our pastor. If not now, when? Sure, it's Coronavirus. Sure, I'm quarantined in with my homophobic parents. Sure, I have absolutely nowhere to go and no resources to speak of. Sure, I'm currently sitting in a closet (really) crying. Sure, I'm mentally probably not ready for this. But, if not now, when? Wherever you are, good luck. And I love you. And so. does. God. -You a year ago

Epilogue

2 days later

Hi dearie,

Well, it's a been a year, that's for sure. A long, 15 months of March with life transformations packed in to the brim.

I suppose you'll...

Pdeaut na ntaw. . . ,am be eidedn, ureeq, aealpxuns i cpfiices ot. Okot nhomts uto ttha dna ohgtuh frgeui enthrao 4 lelw, or sa ot rnobinyna 5. Latauc a a dna teh i ofr evgi etim oe,n wen ngdree uonosnpr wen me nad emna o,wn tath ristf puieroha ehsf,r einsltg ernncedumebu avhe.
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Eht smeumr wsa. . . Allf oot dna aws on,lg eht. Retrnu rof dna ithw nda ot tsnrpea ire,ntw eimt my hnte mace to eilv the. . . Din'dt i. Tehm i tuo keew ncaosntt a calls to of tmh,e nad rhus fomr eamc flte tfranci ned a nhte dna retih of fl,iree pcnia no. Pe,ed em and eetxpc ot eped slurefa nad itngdnesdmsnraui. Amlfiy to aoy,mnpc mrebems ,os e,ther epsnd tugofiascnf ielv meos irhte fduno uerrnt cktsu i ihtw hmosnt hwit ot teinsda dna indd't. Llyvoe st'i dan ebne.
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Sa ,oto hsgnti yma aehv orhet uoy veah etedcxep secylert nheagdc. Rtpa sahtinirc od awht a ffoetrs ton thg(ouh my swa rnishtcai pieaetrcap a ot my cwihh gs'do lvoe asprtne ekpe of 'mi in is royu rdsheta i wsete enraoym ofr i)m,dn. Hwo rthugyholo sec,a i'm sy,melf whta dan nda and ahnt h)ypap leihw ayn i hingts atht amyn dsue be, bene hnew ehva i,fstdeh i fidn piapher ot mfor nto lsitl oele,pdedv (eevn evre ni eavh i tegsreadn.
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Awys smeo the fro ehflupo ni ,tfeuur 'im. Fo salo a weolh sssiemipitc nad and ohpe uinoxas taubo sa pnltea teh the. Rhgti? ngsiref dssro,ec.
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My eeaccap,tnc vl,eo nesgdin nda noatliivda u,oy abkc dera to.

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