A letter from May 7th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Hi *****, I've been dealing with this for a while, and I just need to talk with somebody about it. I think that I may be Lesbian or Bi. I've felt this way for a long time, but I've just ignored it or told myself I'm 'confused'. My parents are homophobic, they were raised conservatively, and I don't want to talk to them about it. They don't know yet. The church at ****** is really open-minded, and I just need some help working through this. I don't want my parents to know (at least not yet), so sticking with e-mail would be good. Thank you for being there, ***** That's the letter we just sent to our pastor. If not now, when? Sure, it's Coronavirus. Sure, I'm quarantined in with my homophobic parents. Sure, I have absolutely nowhere to go and no resources to speak of. Sure, I'm currently sitting in a closet (really) crying. Sure, I'm mentally probably not ready for this. But, if not now, when? Wherever you are, good luck. And I love you. And so. does. God. -You a year ago

Epilogue

2 days later

Hi dearie,

Well, it's a been a year, that's for sure. A long, 15 months of March with life transformations packed in to the brim.

I suppose you'll...

Aeupdt wtna na. . . Secpcfii en,ddei i be ma, ot axselanpu e,ruqe. Atht dna or lwle, tkoo 4 out to anohetr nyiborann ergfiu ghouth as htmnso 5. ,own dna reendg a ,shrfe a ebneurcenumd i irfts haev eht ,neo temi new vegi altuca nad giestnl new rnpoonsu neam ofr hatt arpuieoh em.
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Wsa eht rmesmu. . . Gn,ol nad lalf the too aws. And mtie nstrepa my hte uretrn fro mcea ot ot neht wtih elvi dan went,ri. . . I dtdi'n. Eithr ot hurs sllca of adn a fomr tlef ehtm fo no adn wkee em,th a oncantst e,riefl ecma uto den ipnca i frnacti then. And uearfsl to dngnrssimtniudae epde dan em ,eedp cxtpee. Enspd thwi uofdn ietrh ,so ckuts omhnts 'dnidt to i guitnaofscf smeo liev dna itwh to aylmfi ynmocp,a te,hre sidenta mrmsbee nruret. Ebne vlyelo s'ti dna.
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Yam reesylct avhe as vaeh oo,t exdctepe hoter ngedcha uyo hgntis. Hnaticirs cwihh seewt ftrfeos patireacpe uory of peke a htwa ym swa 'odsg )idn,m in othhg(u oevl srpeatn tdeahrs od 'mi i nto niacriths my rapt to a si ofr eronamy. Nmay i hatn ilslt to ohw dan vere ghoryluhto any edsranegt hgtins iprahep bnee and b,e ledevpode, ,dhistef mfyels, vhae seud ni that lwhei awht ont fomr ahve ve(en s,cea papy)h ewhn nda i 'im i indf.
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Ayws peflouh oems teh rof fu,etru 'im in. Ecsiiimspst het het oeph wheol nltepa as and asnoixu dna a laos uobta of. Gsirefn gihrt? erdo,ssc.
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Alanvdioti vel,o o,yu ,apcecctaen nnesidg my akcb dan ot drea.

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