A letter from May 7th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Hi *****, I've been dealing with this for a while, and I just need to talk with somebody about it. I think that I may be Lesbian or Bi. I've felt this way for a long time, but I've just ignored it or told myself I'm 'confused'. My parents are homophobic, they were raised conservatively, and I don't want to talk to them about it. They don't know yet. The church at ****** is really open-minded, and I just need some help working through this. I don't want my parents to know (at least not yet), so sticking with e-mail would be good. Thank you for being there, ***** That's the letter we just sent to our pastor. If not now, when? Sure, it's Coronavirus. Sure, I'm quarantined in with my homophobic parents. Sure, I have absolutely nowhere to go and no resources to speak of. Sure, I'm currently sitting in a closet (really) crying. Sure, I'm mentally probably not ready for this. But, if not now, when? Wherever you are, good luck. And I love you. And so. does. God. -You a year ago

Epilogue

2 days later

Hi dearie,

Well, it's a been a year, that's for sure. A long, 15 months of March with life transformations packed in to the brim.

I suppose you'll...

Udtpae an want. . . I aunalxesp to quree, ma, ipifscec ednde,i be. Nbaronniy rnteoah toko ttha thghuo dna 4 5 ot w,lel out ro as freugi hsntom. Fres,h and vgie wen cualat eo,n n,ow haev atht igntsle aemn a wen imet eht hoiepuar for dgneer i snonupor me deucneeunrmb a ftsir adn.
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Mreums saw eth. . . N,olg oto dan lfal saw teh. Nteh eht nda liev to itnw,er to ofr eimt ertrun sptnrea thiw meac nda my. . . Idtdn' i. I eh,mt nhte on lascl rthie ewke den fomr amce of of etfl ot srhu fereli, anicp nad a nad astntocn tnarfci tuo ehtm a. Etcpex dan dpee nrdimieatndsgnus me elafsur dna ep,ed ot. Itn'dd insdaet ot acy,pnmo ,os mmerbes to iwth ivle kusct semo eeh,rt shotnm and fyialm i dufon scfufiogtan pdsne thier rrenut tiwh. Neeb dan levoyl tis'.
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Oto, aehv amy daehgnc sa eepcdetx recseylt rhtoe yuo veha igstnh. Etrosff panters ptiaeperac oryu rthased veol htsicarin rof eswet a saw sg'od ni hghou(t to si of nd)mi, ekpe mi' whta hwhic atpr my ton a oreynam i ym do htciisnar. Tllsi aevh dd,opeevle sace, adtrenges adn htan any taht ylem,fs fet,dhsi apehrpi evn(e i whne lhwie i anym rghtylhuoo hp)apy owh be, sdue tgishn tno i ni mi' dfin vree veah nda ot rfom twah neeb dan.
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Olfhupe r,fuute aswy rfo het in 'im semo. Sisiimspect apntel aotub a iunxosa nad oeph hte of teh dna as wohel osal. T?righ snrfieg ec,sosdr.
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Taepcanec,c esgnnid vtianodila cbka oe,vl dna ym ,yuo to dare.

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