A letter from April 21st, 2020

Dear Future Me, Today one year ago you stepped away. Away from a toxic person, a toxic relationship and a behaviour with which you destroyed yourself. Please still be proud of yourself for doing that. The pain he brought you was gone so fast so suddenly you almost couldn't believe it after soaring for so long. But now all is good and all is great. I wonder where you are, what you are doing and who you're with. Some things that are bothering you today (21.0.4.2020) (just because I'd like to know whether they still bother you: - C's flirting - N's judgments - Whether R is a nice guy you should meet (or are your expectations just too high?) - Corona Virus - Eating & smoking habits - M & P's relationship issues - your hair never getting long (hope it is longer than above your breast now honey) - Carriere???? - your gossiping - Should you get in touch with U? Some things that you are happy about today (because I hope you smile reading about them): - rise of self worth - enjoying life - flirting ridiculously - so so so great friendships (L, M, both V's) - started studying Spanish (even though you've kinda took a break for a week now) - honesty - family - finally over S Honey, I hope you are fine. I hope you are great. Please don't forget that ever again. You can be happy on your own. Your happiness isn't dependent on ANYONE else, especially not a boy. If you don't believe this the day you're reading it, think back to the you that is writing it right now. She is thriving, shining, gloriously happy and all that on her very own. Also I hope you stopped drinking over the point you can't control yourself. Friendly reminder, you called N from Bern super drunk two days ago after the pick nick with L, which was great by the way. It was kinda funny though... ;) It kinda feels good telling this myself. I feel like I am talking to someone I know very well, and knows me very well. Someone I don't have to hide anything from nor explain anything to. You know yourself well and most importantly, you love yourself so so so much. Also I really hope you are enjoying the first part of your twenties well! Please do so! Hopefully Corona Virus didn't stop you from going to Barcelona for your birthday. Hopefully it doesn't still bother the world. Is Trump finally gone now? God I hope you're doing so fine. I mean eight months ago from my today your life fell apart and now you're great. I really hope you're even better now and today you're reading it. Remember August 1st 2019? You were sobbing on the balcony in Zermatt. You were so done. You thought you couldn't bear anymore pain. You did bear and handle more. Congratulations! You thought it would never end. It did - exactly one year ago today. You walked away and didn't look back. You stepped out of that car and said your final goodbye without looking him in the eye. You did great and I believe you still are. I love you so so so so much. with all my Love, N