A letter from April 17th, 2020

Time Travelled — 12 months

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, Hello, its currently April 17th, 2020, 4:29 PM The world is shut down because of the coronavirus, it is all very apocalyptic. this is my second email to my future self, I hope you're doing well. I read mine from when I was 15, last year. I was really not confident yet because of my eyelid surgery. Currently, my obsession is still Lana Del Rey, I'm studying at San Domenico, which seems so impossible, past me had no idea I would be here. I'm getting treatment for Anxiety and Depression, which I feel guilty for talking about because I'm not even sure I have it if you get what I mean. You'll almost be 18 by the time you get this letter, which is insane. That's a whole adult! Anyways, here are the questions I set for us from last year's letter. How are your grades? Around a B Family? I'm really close with my dad now, we watch Haikyuu together and I cannot be more grateful for him. I miss mom dearly but she's in Taiwan. I lost her silver earrings and I feel bad because she gave them to me and they were beautiful. Love life? Sigh, Still nonexistent. There's this guy in my class, Cameran, he's really, really cute. I'm also confused about my feelings towards Carys and Lola, they're both pretty and my friends. I'm on a facetime with Lola right now, she doesn't know I'm writing this. I want to be her good friend before anything else, she reached out to me and seems to really, really care about me. She's a republican though, which is confusing because she's a wonderful person that seems to care about people. self-confidence? It fluctuates, but ever since my monolid surgery I feel a lot prettier, and people tell me I'm pretty. But I'ms still insecure and I wish I was prettier. and I also wish I was more motivated and intelligent. I think I'm pretty smart, I just don't apply myself as most people do. Mental health: I had such a strong urge to cut today, and I feel like I've been faking everything about having bad mental health and that I'm just too sensitive. It's a bad feeling and I wish it would get better soon. My therapist's name is Gabrielle, she's okay but I don't think shes really helping me, not in the way Rachael did at least. social life? Isa was an amazing roommate, a little messy and complains too much but she's the best friend I could ever ask for. She's always there for me and I know I can trust her, I do make fun of her a little too harshly, just because I could. I'm going to stop. I have a bunch of friends now! none of them are necessarily close though. I eat lunch with Jack, Sophie, Angel, and Judy and Fiona. I'm also talking to Carys and Anaya, they give me headaches because I want to be closer to them but we don't have much to talk about. I'm very jealous of Carys because of shes strong, talented, smart, opinionated, funny and pretty. It's not a good emotion. I have Kara and Sara, they're my quarantine buddies and Sara and I love to watch Timothee Chalamet movies and thirst over them There's also my east 2 friends, Gemma, Clara (Isa's girlfriend, I hope it turns out well for them) and Julia. We always have fun although I'm pretty sure none of the people in the friend group like each other very much. And there's Lola, she's special and I feel like we just click, we get high together and we watch anime, we love Saiki K. she is also very gorgeous and caring, I love her. greatest accomplishment? I came out of my comfort zone and survived with decent grades to show, I managed to make some good friends and I sought help for my mental health. the biggest problem right now? I'm struggling with my mental health and self-doubt. and the coronavirus thing is giving me a lot of stress. I also lack motivation for anything in life, especially Chemistry. meme.palette?shes at 57.5k! but its quickly going downhill, I don't know why who's your best friend? I have Isa, and Noorun, and Emma, and Lola. I love them all a lot even though I still doubt myself sometimes. which school? san Domenico! are we happy? As happy as I can be anything on college/future jobs? Mrs. May recommended some colleges for me, its stressful because I don't have a high enough GPA and SAT score. How's Junior year? It's stressful but good I hope you're in a good place right now, don't worry about things too much, and I want you to have a good time. -stella, 16

Epilogue

about 5 years later

Hi babygirl,

I love you, I love, love love your mind, your humor, your wisdom, your grace, your terrifying insight. The world has recovered from the coronavirus sometime into your...

Eht gcle,ole cipk ihhcw prscose pu, bit eht ncoeds a ash yte to eray nceoymo bnee magikn fo lstli npiaicltopa gahluhto nedgepsirs ahs obj. .
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Flniedetyi rey s'seh fioretav a to but tlsli we edl eynora,m d'ton otenf as lsenti nala. Dna rhad ,eb edlndha alepc a who emzada ta asn i icdoonem ot tyierhveng ma is you. Am nigurd eptrhay eohst senoht, siltl to ehpnpeda be omrf i ouy athw in ryase ot greceionrv. Na etrs cpki hte rsdvuvie ilwl ew ,dclhi senuoorm an udtal as up i sa adn a mnauto. Reeonxisps ouy ,rrowy eevr cna fo islvziuae i!eanmgi anc uyro eht oyu ahnt slamto own, by e'ewr nca gniaime r'rdorntoho— i yaw, etrteb dgion er'we 22. .
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Dsue grnib uoy hte ot adn to tebenew yb onwd lniyam ogne ,nwo your sti' orubiaedns esatr rfmo ucynqeref aptensr iitnteysn atht urlcubente gea dseetlt ntrse worn aer. Of poblesmr hwit aiymncit evah tihs uyo sacubee seom. .
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Eno epleop evol, hstee fo so,fryule "be freof etet,slr elov ihtw r:tewo ouy eglent and eht ot ahtt in oyu uory. Si tno ikdn but anme si enoverye voyeeenr ont. Sa an to ahtre, eb am rygnit l,tuad atwh iltsl my i nucigntino a uyo " rfom whti retga taprecci rcafelu. Wa,y d,ink tosm lla to teh yuo dfin dods emoc uo,t ?tghhuo pepole by onkw wa,th gantsia era. Good ti? st'in a tihng the ubtoa iraleze ,dorlw to.
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Thirnoslepai rou trmse edend onit it we dan tgo ,22 kwsee ta itnwih evlo, in trsif 3 of. To *** ,won you no eurspsri eht of rea one. ,ogd dsai stinhg voey'u teh. . . In saoltm i te,trahe i ssiking adn omeitnsgh viome od em mymroe ttsha movgni to anaya yalerl not dy'uo aevh ebemrerm kniht i owdlu meerrebm eht oermspb,l owslh atelcs. Hte ea"rthet wya, a lnyo rngoidba ti urdngi eetdereang ew dah aanquretin meoi"v cscsea hte lduow eb teh by crchuh lhoocs, oyu lauesotb not eb of udwol ot vmoie aehte,rt ******* oyru. Ejssu hricst. .
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Abtou ouy htnignik i eepk. Naaay rhe mane ni h,ctou laol ebrt,aeh teh ihtw in negphil won niadcng bed hwti vyeitngerh tbu ghnti ta ni nad colohs a'iss iygln ni rchuhc s,exniet ipnreaihtlso a. Psdsseuper sr,acy ti a uro nadsdutrne nleisgef h,ecilc ro nnuyf to ew ofsendcu won, tuoab t'is is'nt aaya,n or i'fels sai, evern alol, ro sujt were asw rof i?t tanw. Iaretnc nvee htta of oeecmb rmfo eknw eewr wlduo eilf we rmeo uot *,** pcactaceen saecebu ueesbca uowdl dharre opsgru teg we chare. .
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I veew' tirgnieyrf iths —leetsi aws wyh itknh i soeemerwh dsadterunn tetntinao our to,u edbckol ro nedtur. Your neses silgr ovel veyer a no nfrtryi,gie dcatpe,ce oyu iygrtn ryintefi,gr yuo qeeur paotiu cttiairs reew to hwy in rewhe kemsa erwe toin sneereqsu dmpaienc lwodr wsa vedlo the eth nkwgia n,sedco oyru nsrmo hnoep erew tirfynrgei, epsaec nda iesndrf it a uyro aws laoisc saw ledvi easrptn dednfi,e reew fyr,tienrig. Nwet od ratp oru yb dgoin tghuaolh is fo it tht,a dpeere a teh uufter ni e'wer slitl yw,a ,wnuod i thbia faith eht eavh aywa, ernve. Emad uor atr htis te,erbt asmndse t'is. .
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L:eif soacli.
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Yw,a tid'dn fo gelce?ol wcrsdo hte entoccp by i heeitr eray hte necsod oolc idd fo nsde atref the ouy ownk. In elppoe, ghna fo vareles srat eargt the ew own of qeuer tmhe ni ursgpo ro msot delnivov. Wfe own, eavh viavni taht (sn+a)hna rnisefd adn we mdae yaw, nad podiocnutr a do senigd mod. Swa igg yuro epayd by bteisgg ivsanvi trfhae 60$0. Laos kmi spsroroef yug,no iagaznm onyuicmtm obgthur ,yelk noiwjn of sengid peep:lo an ajyii. Your dirhemte oy taen you and ruotgbh nresoi tod swaihnm plae trcjpeo uebl. In refsind yedeonj dmea oshm,nt igtnvisi ingeb oasdnlc,t ni wnet eupore, ew veen dna to tusyd drnoua otw ew da,leinc dlennag we 72 orbaad. Srdabekpooc up dna gsepa 'uveyo 020 imomsree fo. Cienadl oievrtfa meecab noe ouyr fo ueirtcons ulqciky. Tehro leicndu n,cog n,anhah ynmias pepeol wsa:g s,secia. .
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Screehar hsa unf bnee ow,n irgth. Loev feosprrso ash s,u yjo uor nda aalkmya, inkia gooinml tub uro ew twhi no tsshei abl nbee ,ggen. Enve tac. .
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My nteirety ivdle iwht zmet lniogtarn fro teh weev' lna,eai ni agamniz nad etrhe fo cae,rer olas sglri itaptntas—bri,nme lgoecel. Dan ,oto anleai tsrdate a mtez frate won la in hiewl ehrety' aitdgn. Go terassm kacb tqui emho hre myialf for haethl, to uretfu arpgrmo aue-altveer tezm reh hre ehr tilsoairpneh atlnem dan ithw nad to oagsl. Eey home, riwokgn orf acfiliyt na stansstai eli's tieirntadimavs aecr sa na ackb. Em itkagn eneb ahd ehr seapds ahs tjsu 'eshs edma uoabt hitnk tarognmhder dag,pnentrar it gae rhe nad fo ecra w,aay. .
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Uyo iegsnpnd fo a whti dame ecols progu in adn tohb coat,s denifrs a rae rgouhht syda fo sarb troacn and ucls,b moultuacni ,citiavsm nitib oyu. ,ceair ,dnsoy ho(w in ni nercylet e,nglsea abl fetl ,alxei ot rv)r,hdaa a wrok hcsreaer rybbo airrms. Rougp avtribn ibt edethr,a epur ,amstr adn iolenn a opeepl of aroillhyccn. .
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Siendrf fo or,escu eepk my iduldnivai i. Uoyr on admrse ,ococ eltslryeenls a oyu how wheos tpu verne ahs zal,zdse pdrtpseou nca tub rigenf nad htelwa itamdsieitn. .
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Ceam in nda y,aws ,hgtni mofr 'ewev htis ttsdrea taht ndris,tecemn ycitrsca off ilanpesg feli uor ta os ruo eccacnaetp elppoe vwe'e htat vianhg doog of hyuot desihndg onetgt cslioa. Rou miizimen hwta on in ennlriga hig,tns lilw dasre ti cipre ,erfste ngbie ,eesnrtp nwo ot i eginttg tjus our no yigapn hte ttsru am how kerthb,aare rove flsee ayetprh olernvale— leyard ebemrrneigm iu,ttchnae nda ew're djeg,etumns. .
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Grith rae i and btu n,ow who at mteh ilef ruo htey aciosl nrotetla iinbmtao i luertfag oolk all eht naciepgtc, no ouierctn ofr fo ym evah ppee,lo uireqisct of ,is eastt os ma as,yw sra,mt tbu and nazagmi eseht. Wotrh a utb ton egtgnintisavi a,vhe ot oen 'its doog ghothut. Rnfieds i uwodl i uoatb kema ays ernev say,iel utgtohh htta i fmyles. Ym em ym in ot ineanvnounoltc gnelaih tigutnp slizigcnoai giidfnn dlo stlil eht ee,thr issner,ett ytii,rgi—rnfse it pnsuigru uwon,sd nradou ,olelegc tuerluc tou —wndaas fmlyes fgnotio esyfml. How and oklo ssdnkien yaedp tbu fo it hte ot peres o,ff eud rtosmen. I'm ulmdhb,e adn eyla,lr orupd. A saergtn nooiemt 'its. Uoy ste icmutmnoy, gnia yruo enbaiourds on budto tbteer evah illw dfni foi,gnot ,me i eevn nhat od. We oclo mayeb lhle, yad be noe nac. Fo ayelrl ttha lteesst kdni oocl eth ,loco. I rfaodwr to ti kloo. .
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Ym urnoon i alaj,ni kepe dna eon,s day ceu,rso uhcot in a,sahh htiw of. .
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Smeoaimc?nhptlc taeegrst.
Adn ine,fdr i i ogdo siiotu,mab sot,hr neniuyelg eltys drh,a i i by veah hsti adn bilut ckrib lefi a dan a atth ki—neli i iryspeoltna ma i am okwr kcirb. Ot of llegceo het oen our r,egede e'wev rsedneept w'ere tmloas trehe rtosep,s eatnalyoliintnr dne. Eippenderp to we !() intuyivsre ttiomcmed a into yps gto icmabolu and dna. Ye,h( d ooc!)tdr a uyo eb can. Ryitng erivd k,wro whhysiag ew dogni t,)o nda igxirescen gensdi rae we anc wno olco nuiotodcpr (ro. ,iglr o,tu amec on a cdrea oen adn atdde oh, we. Eodprust eth hvwreoe i i ihnkt ym fo mdesitn, am. ,aklc a dan aecm aepcl i on kwor i fomr olgren rwhee cpseert lypure fmro won lfeyms i of dan. .
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?sargde.
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Mster onemr,ay turgadea s,raged you as are mero ni yr'uoe one fo tgigetn awsard rea ,oyka tsoeh no eterh rdgase uyo of gniod. Gtihr i eth ew erya wsa a is ******* ncaiclli otok fro od hte sheecarr, boy em,sa etxra na oindi,sec today is emt clhpgyyoos a owh oignd well it dhsp it lfmhse,ua as ubt ot nhtik i. .
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?wno gbgeist ihrtg hte mpoblre.
Si msese pmrut ofrm the scmrei agnikt arw neomyoc serolpmb irasimntmg dan es:tla arrioconsvu stmo r,eov ot ieoasndgl rtoiedgnp the velsaer in ai eb flte esl,ashmb ot. Eth ni owdlr giehnapnp geocisden lesevra s'terhe. Nda to aifrad araidf dnfi i of orf chin eht mitmco nicllaic tmemonmu i dgns,ei to veig nda iciecfars ot cgosylpyho neetistr wkor adem dirafa laenpyrlo,s am nad a ,boj pu ot. I,sht adn a nt'do a ra,c i 'ndot drfiginrel heav aveh ahve mynoe lal i i and td'no. .
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Cihhw hsclo:o.
!advis.
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Rae ew pap?yh.
Dessrset, yse t,i no adn a tbi nwgiork tub. Atya,lulc on. I vlie ni rfea. Ppayh wsa i nsa hyppa eb eiom,cdno obyetcevilj itwh i i as to asw same own i as rehe in sya hte anc saw im' ?ma adn i i nhwe who aelb cn'at r,eom say asrwne:.
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Gtruoelceule/f ?bojs gnyithan no.
The bgi htsi qonuteis si. .
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Sermd?a.
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By ntwa udernsudro i roal,sm yb a nkdi deoadr tpuoicosanc lvei heav eelppo in nad looc irndfes elrsov nad how yt,ci ocol olco ot. I lteotinap to adn my wtna ues nilayltaca isedng. Veha i to wnta dhbisulpe lslma eimnhgto,s. Niterca be of i ym nda ********* ot urodp tnwa. Ot oonhr ihm i a atwn tmeh and nad ot and imh cselo my nda rteat ontsiac to d,da dhrgtaue waasyl adn ogod imsnaetvehce ni lwle ihst eb be mm,o. Tfnicndoe lfee ntwa i ot. Enmoy m-olbnngdwii **** i )nr me (k010 of ntwa tno ot ot a ekma is. Pdteeeinnnd i to be twan. Eb nda i to twan srmat aiteuubfl. Nda enaerltv ot wtna nad epfuowrl eb pretesdec i. Ym sotnhe ujts twhi ,hey srisdee inbge. .
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Tanws' to os ntirigw hetnso aewdtn dputea oot nblusesnt adn eoph dema 16, a thta i the ivge tentirouse,p i tsatus sthi ym aws tujs more dan rwtrie i tre,ebt itnhk a oifgver at. Et,ur ot i ademsr hatw semo poeh lief my up lswyaa acem idubl i dan emdedra oehp vew'e fo fo sthi ew. In os ,oyu rudop 'sti fo ma i lfee i my stech os i ef,engli it eb a fo dporu derwi liwl ,uyo. Sedluhro 'veyou ogt vega on dogo elts,ted up, oev'yu nda a eenrv veo'yu enrev ouyr tyterp hdae. 'mi fro oelv okginlo i idfn hope eth yuo. .
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22 age ls,atel.

This user has written an update to this letter.To see what they wrote, please


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