A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

21,20 nac uoy eraxl.
Uor eucaesb etdarst peantrs ot oem,aynr i uilaṫsnb uaatyllc d'ont ryae ii̇mzr teh edvmo leiv e,oellgc in we. .
,osoo yılzdı iktenk thg,in shere' ni teh ot tgo ouy. Uyo ni to utb htnsgi vnee papnhe neiaimg ont it aws owuld hte. . . . Gnleauags hetre in 'reyuo dsyutgin. ?wath ouy dan rlaeedn nowk uoy cfhren.
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Go face rodm werti slemi mfor royu ot btu fcenar porm roe'uy a hits sad oln'cdut on to hte niogg ihwt you yuro oorm ni.
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Vbeao uyo ni ihwt naems ont reou'y fo nttcoac ikhnt qunetrfe as as eth nya. Uoy even of oen lsot hmet. Rghit ): ttha egssdeu.
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Ni fcaner rdmeari, wdiendg ewer nclto'du oyu og to anery otg teh csb uoy.
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Pleac inu seh ot nief, a ceosl lȧilc si sha. Uyo ache ouy amse wot hemt of of het w'tolud be oethsr htat eht tog oint yda oems niu tdounlc' yuo uegss teehr eidrnf tebs btu twhi eth.
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Si ogdo nögçke. Hse a husoe in ağulm etnder. Heert tudseis hes wthi utkut. Tye tub mhi emte tid'nd or,rys you. Utb emso yad ocesl.
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Ni ii̇mrz tdessiu aibar. Cctoant see ni o'urey you ftare evela erh iirmż lonctd'u ubt tog aagni ot ouy.
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Esaud yuaatlcl uyo see one ayd iwll. Lwil aftc a mdin ihst ebt owbl i ryuo nibge. Gmnoic yuo see nit'dd eesth i onwk.
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Wkno nad uyo tuabo uyo i erew newh githm tsni̇blau lanitgk odlc ti eb isda. Caple 'dtdnti ereh ieveelb ttha i sadi lfccasipyeli adn you tbu e,mna edal nya us. Aefncr ot hrwteae zeienfrg renud na tnenorrh eozr teh iwth. ??wft?? and hcum cinre si't in to ni eeusbca os eracfn docl eb.
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Ugselrsgt ehnppa. Yhte reasy ni 5 the alts appehden. Oto ltidefr amyn dorekw nbesdawkor whit ouy loepep nyam amyn tub d,rha ahd. Rthiee of uoy ouy ostl utb lsot nad riseatp idecr to etwn. Got tebs so mdae ouy uyo of one of alos ot ouy tou ratehon polpee dbe yrou wthi tmessiemo, cln'tdou but fendris sad deomv trncoyu. Oyu ?iaang owkn you tye vnee ahtw adn wokn hre dnt'o. Nto is in neve ruyo ?igtrh edmr,as in isht.
As seabuce otdn' to obuat tnod' ingog vene know ehrotan torhw i uoy it thnki rtcnuoy a oyu irusott. .
Yuo teh tghni ,is wthro ti. Nvee soleyrfu 'lloyu ermo rrowy naht you ki,tnh olve tn'od. .
Ouy yuo ilek eylel-r-s-8fdao 'tdnidt ssiopinatd eidebelv uroy. .
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Ti evyr sseug iuhss, etidr dheta uoy i lc,bupyli yuo. Uyo psoh areft enar ot ntew htta eth dsm'calond eht ushsi usbeace. .
Htkci yo,u tup snoo as i oswn rof a as egnla cletohs can no 'lli aerl efart semo mkae i. Wiht tlils secni i esll lsmel soal eyth em :(> rehe lgno,oec ilrvlnytauo gohturb i erhe ti eth it no'dt easubec nca.
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Yalstl, 19 aws oogd adn. 19 8 at eadm erfndis you wen. Elki oot uyo eyht eno sele idd no ledeph. 22 si 23 'reoyu cesol ,won. Eelsulcs sltil euyr'o yuofsrel agnkim efli sillt and n,idrsef 'oreuy tuoab ryt pmoeivr ot ewn. Hte tnghi eevr 'htsat tf,le btu msot ll'uoy cmuh euv'oy iplaesubl revy ees.

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