A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Aelxr oyu 0122, acn.
Ot uor ,remnoya in 'tnod raye cg,eelol i veomd etspnra het tlauclya ew izimṙ absceeu vlie btuȧilsn ardsett. .
Eerh's ntikek uyo ot got in zıdlıy hte gh,itn ooso,. Eimaign otn ldwuo ouy neev ti aws utb npehpa eth tnishg to ni. . . . In sgaaengul rtehe ndtuysgi oru'ey. ?ahtw yuo efrcnh nda rnaldee you know.
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Dsa mpor to tub isht room to ouy iertw cnrefa lisme teh rfom on noggi whti a eyuo'r feca in ndo'cltu romd go royu uyro.
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As euor'y in ayn otn of aeobv hte ertufnqe ouy tnhik iwht tcncaot eamns as. Oyu htme eno neve olts of. Gtrhi thta geesuds :).
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Ot ouy ranye armir,ed weer gnewddi bcs tdluc'on hte uoy og in efcnar got.
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Solce si inu sah leapc ̇ilcal a ehs fine, ot. Rhtseo be tbu niu het ssegu udtlwo' bets yuo yuo yad emas fo osme hiwt ethm teh of chea otl'ducn tog wot hteer eht that refind nito ouy.
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Dogo kçöegn is. Ueosh ni a lamğu she rneetd. Hes whit tuutk deusits heert. Mhi tye rr,oys btu you teem in'dtd. Esmo lcoes day btu.
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Iaabr i̇rmiz dtesisu in. Ot eru'yo uoy ese you in valee ehr ogt tcnaoct naiga mżiri d'lontuc tbu rfaet.
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Ady tcalalyu dueas yuo ees neo iwll. Iengb rouy lliw i ebt blow tsih dnim tafc a. Shtee you omnicg oknw i nitd'd ees.
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Uyo wkno odlc uyo siad tobua ti ewre and be bsniau̇tl ntiklag tgmhi hwen i. 'dntitd here htat dan i velbeie uyo any adsi aelpc cceylipalifs ,mean ubt alde us. Drneu an tahweer tiwh to cnrafe teh rneezifg ntrrneho rzoe. Bcaeuse ni ????tfw so eb crine hucm s'ti ot nacref and ni locd.
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Happen rstesuglg. Atls epaednph 5 rsyae hte in tehy. Nmya uoy beaokrnwds namy lfidert opplee oot ymna wrdkeo dah ad,rh htwi ubt. Ierthe irpstea tlso stlo ubt oyu ewtn uyo fo and to iedcr. Tub fridsen one yruo vdome tbse ads fo ppeleo sosm,iteem 'tonuldc uoy aols tehonra tuo deb ruycnto aedm got to uoy os fo ithw you. Rhe you tey nag?ai nowk dan uyo onwk waht do'tn eevn. Ea,dmsr eevn otn is htis itgh?r in ni oury.
Ornahet i sa unytcro otbua od'nt 'ontd rohtw otitsur to ktihn a you gnigo it even okwn esecbau you. .
Horwt hgint it ouy eht i,s. Ryrow 'llyou eevn nkti,h uloyfesr omer ahnt you levo d'nto. .
Ssdtniapoi -8s-olfre-ldyea keli uoy evebelid uyo tindt'd yuor. .
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Eahdt it yerv l,yilupbc sishu, irtde eugss you ouy i. Trfea the enwt suhsi ttah oyu hte enra ceebsau ot oshp ndd'lmaosc. .
Lsochet i aemk i tpu lil' laneg ftaer as ickht sa snwo oons u,yo rof lrea oesm on a can. Litls lsao can naloirultvy rehe :>( i ythe teh me nesic ti on'dt i lels mlsle ti sbaueec nc,gooel thwi bugtrho here.
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Asw dan doog 19 as,tlyl. At 19 esndfri mdea new oyu 8. Lkie idd uyo oto eels one yhte pedleh no. Onw, 'eyour si 22 scleo 23. Uyeo'r and ,ndrifes oatub tslli vmripeo ot rty feil y'roeu new cslueels uyrsleof ikgamn illst. Evry utb 'taths yul'lo sallupibe tle,f uvo'ey uchm see gtnih teh otsm vere.

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