A letter from November 24th, 2019

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, are you happy? I am writing you this because now (that means: a year ago) you were. From the bottom of your hart. You just came back from Nepal, experiencing an exhausting and breathtaking adventure, returning to "normality" with wife 'n kids 'n cats 'n stuff. You've realized quickly: that's what you really love! Your wedding is 6 months ago, you've seen a relationship develop further, you've seen a 9-year-old and a 13-year-old growing in size and personality. You are fully accepted in your new roles as a stepfather and as a husband. And as a cat's litterbox cleaner, of course. Yet you have issues finding your place in the new family setting. At least it feels like that. A bit shaky. But you are at "your place". Right where you stand/sit/lie... You are NOT in question. You are NOT under scrutiny. Nobody will sort you out, dismiss you, drop you. You're loved. So: relax. Chill. Take a deep breath. Or two. Or three... You are where you want to be. Love Your past self

Epilogue

over 1 year later

Looking back in anger...
One year later life had hit me in a really hard way...
Covid-19 hit the dancefloor, I was on short-term work, meaning: no work at...

All. Aemoynr tahhel ont mien fo wsa ubydd a.
Ihgtf vlenaig swa dcol ckne btah tchyi bteu gk8s fo kseew was glyu epsxsre in to hda rint,a kics smeulsc x4 tog ikns 2 skc,i haptyre het aretw ym fro pntes niks, eth eht het omstnh iv'e ntthrgse es,ekw i tgihn ihwt iesd npsei ym na byod ldo ni liosng a eht leik (omineutu,)ma ftfeesc, like.
Atht reo:kwd het vdole osne my oyln ghtin. . . .
Yeht hghi on ym iwll pkte ot up vvisrue leelv a.
Fiew etbs erev. A euuifltba nigowrg pu ni wya are kdsi.
Ghnit 2220 tlsil a si the ni seummr cdovi of.
A putmr ogne no tub nirkb yadcanidc rpes nwe is a eth as fo.
Is iiwwi sgrerpso, lla hdatishse eorpw nitagk in the plaec eorv.
Gnache eftl 7 elaitcm till laifn resay.
Iyohtrs is umnha eoiprd in eorv setb.
Lla msoce iwll het oniyljt atht rgnow reeecpxine rfom we i bhlitslu tfufs slitl do vene het.
Nesw bad orfkriew inatnfrimoo a is of. Aalvs ainriuk.
Ot si teka rae igyrnt naptesr i,sck eadd dna caer meth of ym essedesrvrto herbtro my. Hmcu i phle tc'an. Thlipzsieado seissu nugls vinhag uroeiss het with.
Btrtee otn otrfsn gttgeni it on is all.
My ubt dovle noes. . . Rotgsn ianngstd iltsl.
Gsoogeru ni neytlrruc bnegi eaughrdt ot a afmlee ogrun-pw beoecm ungyo nz beecam lyda, my a.
Lsocho a fiodcnent hdcnage son dna mroe omer mgibneoc lecsufssycul my is eetarnge nda. . . .
Ym eiwf nad. . . Alemef sebt nda r!vee fo oinelctcol.
Os lveo reh cumh. Onom etnh het aniag - 2 & kcab nda.

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