A letter from August 2nd, 2019

Dear FutureMe, Hi, self. I'm sitting here in the bathtub with some new candles eating Taiyaki I postmated. It's pretty good. I accidentally did that thing where I made the water too hot so I was sweating like crazy and was super uncomfortable. I just drained all the water and am sitting here in the empty tub like an idiot. Yesterday I had my big round of 4 interviews at GIPHY and met a ton of people. I want this job really badly, but after my last marathon interview (at Jubilee) I'm paranoid this will go the same way and in a week I'll be getting a "we decided not to move forward with your application" email. I feel the way I wrote in my journal back in my freshman year of high school (when I like half plagiarized a paper for my theater arts class and was freaking out that I was going to get in trouble with Mrs. Naidenovich and get expelled) - I hate that you, the version of me that's reading this, know my future and I don't. I mean, I don't hate it, but this is such a weird conversation for me to be having. I'm having like a direct one-way conversation with you where you in this moment are reading what I'm saying. But on my end, it's years before this will be read (haven't decided what year I'm sending this to yet). Oof, can you tell I'm high? But like, you know what my next move is. You know if I get this GIPHY producer job or if I end up taking the job on that NBC genealogy show. Or maybe the toilet paper company I've been interviewing with for that in-house position. OR maybe it's none of those and I'm unemployed forever and we lose our house and have to move in with my parents or something. I think I'm not supposed to be catastrophizing anymore but I've been unemployed for four months now and things feel bleak. Our current foster dog is Lilly. She's sweet but such a puppy and wants to lick your face constantly. Do you remember her? I took her out to lunch at Platform in culver city the other day and she started licking a stranger's toes. Awkward. I hope she gets adopted soon! She deserves a great home but also she's a lot of work. haha. Lauren and Charlie visited a few weeks ago for the first time. It was a really great trip and I can't believe how big charlie is getting. She's only two and two months but talking a lot and I actually feel like she's a human being now. So weird. Let's see, what year should I send this to? 5 years in the future? Sure. So she just turned 7. Lauren said they want to start trying to get pregnant again but need to build their new house first. They're aiming for spring 2020, but it doesn't like that's actually feasible. So if they have a kid late next year then that kid is 4 by now? I feel like they're going to have a boy but I'd prefer a girl. Who knows. I don't know if at this point I've ever received a letter from so long ago (5 years) so it's hard to imagine myself actually reading this. It seems so far away but every time I get one of these super detailed letters from myself like this I tend to remember writing it like it was yesterday even though I tell myself about things as if they'll be foreign. It's hard to grasp the fact that you are me. You know? Anyway. I'm still hot even though all the water has been drained out. I'm going to get out and put the rest of my taiyaki in the fridge. Do you think it will save well? I feel like I should always write these when I'm high. Hmm. K, love ya, bye!