A letter from July 31st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Hello. This night a year ago you were violently kicked out from your only safe place in this world and your heart broke. It was around this time you made that really obvious cut on your arm that no one even asked you about. Has the scar faded at all? It was a time filled with so much sadness and crying in public places and late nights trapped in cigarette smoke. This night right now you are filled with overwhelming sadness. The career you fought so hard for just a year ago is now something you can't wait to throw away. You couldn't keep your promise to quit smoking and you haven't gotten any healthier. You are feeling so alone right now and you are so scared of the future. Something snapped within you and nothing excites you anymore. I pray that all this has changed. Hopefully you are still surrounded by the people who mean the most to you. Are you finally doing something good for the ones who need it more? Have you fallen in love and maybe had your heart broken again? Have you travelled to new places and collected stories you will never stop sharing? You recently came back from a trip to Taiwan. I want to remind you of your last night there, when we sped up the mountain on motorbikes and drank coffee to the sounds of our own laughter. I hope life has been kind enough to bless you with more good memories like these, too many to count. I hope your parents are finally getting the retirement they so deserve in a place they love. Is Mama finally back home with her favourite breakfast, the farms and the wet market? Are your brothers doing alright for themselves? My wish for you now is that life does not torment you. That the ruts you find yourself in are shallow and you grow immensely as a person. If you are reading this, hopefully you are laughing at how the years between us has made the sad memories almost painless. I have no idea what I'm doing in life but maybe you do. That's all I need right now to keep going.

Epilogue

3 months later

Hello!

It's us again. Reading this made me smile, then made me cry again. I'm finding it very difficult to find the words to reply to this, but here it...

Ogse. .
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Yrou cssar no uoy eon am,r aer ,ot vhrcewhei lal hree eerw eht tills ergeirnrf. Iothuncg a onwd ive' peoelp onbkre raeomsrf, my etha sllit i been etiltl btu. I ewre ta my tbu semeostim nihkt ponti heva dnti'd ldaiy ym ttha sta,olm e,rla eht apcsees i am to dear hwne fmor hist tath nesfegli eth aveh i efil sa dan of nwo tehn wenk iragasmsebnr i ylkuc os i apts. Olathugh ti utc i 'atehnv utiq yelesimnm i,sgmkon dnow ei'v. Ni yiftlelse lgviin aecuesb si only rtulcyren nmitnvnoeer i am het fo ym hielrahet. Eroanmy leef ltlis flei and em tdoe'ns i tiecxe sday, osem keil. Yasd ti next ohep is lcla utjs het nad si eno etmh rt,btee dna uyalsul dab i. .
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Ndtdi' vemod mceo cakb nad i aayw. Ouy xnicteegp tht,a aymeb i eusac c,fuk hknti sn'atw ernte'w. You y,srea etlilt 'vei essl tnaek you tsohe wdolu a kwen resya, here 4 nebe 4 adn ilfe if haev bymae lsyousire wtha was mogicn. Ognal deam amde frndsei oyu ot hte adn of ywa, eht spahe cnoutndilnioa fo dfnuo of rpetoy, ni dna it resamd htem te,ur adnl ddeshrun eolv. Ot syar,e and we lla appyh so aedm letrycne epleop myan i rtip fieetfrdn us the see met ep,reuo in os reew pu tsap 4 netw os i ni twhi no sfeirdn mnay woh to a sneitro,cu. Rea so edolv we. To ngowr wkal elfl wthi olev teh in uoy npoers oot aayw evian dan aws. Find teh ngido ew usgrd uhcm and lla clduo ngkiridn oot sngimko atretsd e,wde. Ie'v atht all nwo tqiu. Es,lnso sihw utb ti emoemsist us a upt lleayr gdoo ckuf vreen i htta was i ghrtuho. Etmi i w,on omes tserggul ewhre am ot adsy gte ot still adn it nlgo okot a cabk i. Apccte ceom ltef klie on su form iwll ssrca ot het tath mchu srsca e'iv ot satl atht add ielim,etf eht a meco. To i reaesi ihwt oeph eilv ythe lrlaye teg. .
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Ni eevn ewlih olve all ietdr mseooen dna tiwh atfre to ewsn hwti yuor file hte ellf ht,at dilreub ouy good up uyo si, tpu ouy. Rsnpeo wno het so ro omfr oyu is atth hwo iugfnck idal oyu arsreeut nfdou eon leikd ni th,o no uoy eht the tehrno,a rwdlo seye im,h you hesmowo ntemmo nam tmos. Ewnh wtren'e uyo ubt of neo cema aogln ntiawgn ainga, i it oeprsmi osaietirhlpn, eno oyu odog e,mit mhet s'eh a noahrte a dnepehpa itsh. Rtlnea eslso,n i fro us my. Nitkh dna ofr kdeas tbeetr arerpnt i i cdluto'n ahev a ihm epke mite ihts we'll. .
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Uahgl going ,ealrepcd entx eekn btaou hchwi cry d'notse 'im s'add adn ,oemh pgeetirnnd tn'do erya dene lsel umms' ieerrt chdidholo tes i ot hre nda ot os esh uro. Yhte ratse hetm a aws nad wnhe ti,isv uaherglt nda a see htbo nmtho i rfo idd eamc gao ether. Smlaot av'ehnt ear hte enes bothserr rfmo 3 i hte wath syera i a,ehr ni orwld tahogluh tetas ilahtgr of mhet hte iwth. Be hgothu ill' osno eohm. .
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Su motntrede flie sha. Syalwa rdimctaa nto sahtt' nad onomyitllae, ykoa eneb ayes gtshin 'wree pelepo, btu lmleytna aenhv't and. As and a teh os tisehhg olws osrep,n ognwr hghsi nad lwoest wya eew'v had cmuh olagn uro. We vlied llacyuat. Eifl eben ,fllu to ogdo us sah dan losa. Are tno onw haec utdnnsdear ,iosemerm i hte ae,nsspil sad ,uriylrignssp ettber lot a hte but. Di,gon eavh reew' mseiemsto i isth jgoyinne btu listl eadi no hatw 'im ywanay. Si't het dna of a uuetrf ibt dna ogcoihns fo ow,n rsmdea si here mi' a nlad a mt,ie ti of for a kante ahpt og but lto adn y,rpeto ni e,hlp ereht ondw to. Efel eht aptr no ew noergl tbse ,si naelo. .

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