A letter from July 31st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Hello. This night a year ago you were violently kicked out from your only safe place in this world and your heart broke. It was around this time you made that really obvious cut on your arm that no one even asked you about. Has the scar faded at all? It was a time filled with so much sadness and crying in public places and late nights trapped in cigarette smoke. This night right now you are filled with overwhelming sadness. The career you fought so hard for just a year ago is now something you can't wait to throw away. You couldn't keep your promise to quit smoking and you haven't gotten any healthier. You are feeling so alone right now and you are so scared of the future. Something snapped within you and nothing excites you anymore. I pray that all this has changed. Hopefully you are still surrounded by the people who mean the most to you. Are you finally doing something good for the ones who need it more? Have you fallen in love and maybe had your heart broken again? Have you travelled to new places and collected stories you will never stop sharing? You recently came back from a trip to Taiwan. I want to remind you of your last night there, when we sped up the mountain on motorbikes and drank coffee to the sounds of our own laughter. I hope life has been kind enough to bless you with more good memories like these, too many to count. I hope your parents are finally getting the retirement they so deserve in a place they love. Is Mama finally back home with her favourite breakfast, the farms and the wet market? Are your brothers doing alright for themselves? My wish for you now is that life does not torment you. That the ruts you find yourself in are shallow and you grow immensely as a person. If you are reading this, hopefully you are laughing at how the years between us has made the sad memories almost painless. I have no idea what I'm doing in life but maybe you do. That's all I need right now to keep going.

Epilogue

3 months later

Hello!

It's us again. Reading this made me smile, then made me cry again. I'm finding it very difficult to find the words to reply to this, but here it...

Osge. .
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Tisll uoy rae hhreevwci oyur the ,ram lal reeh weer ot, ascrs gnfreierr one on. Aeth my utgchion bene i ndwo oleppe eonkrb a litsl illtte sreamfo,r btu iv'e. I teh as rmfo astp my tbu thta het feil kitnh tish ahev dan lucky wno smseiteom erda am to wkne i ta tath i nsleegif os e,rla ldiay ,molast i seecsap were henw dnitd' aveh ehtn ngrrmasiebsa of onpti i my. Donw ,oikgmsn ei'v i it guohtlha qiut smlneymie vnahet' uct. Feetilsyl is entneonivmr ynol my of rctrueyln viginl am in baecsue i haeilther het. Smoe feel em eanymro leik nda txceei y,sad i elfi dtone's iltls. Texn it dan ehmt dan dba adys si trb,ete i sujt saluuyl teh is pohe noe llac. .
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Bakc eovdm ddit'n and yawa ecmo i. Ptginecxe aemyb sa'twn at,th i ,fcuk hiknt uyo trne'ew asecu. Tenka atwh ruyslieso r,ayse efli lettil kwne ludwo sesl nbee swa rehe bmeya cogmin nad ei'v uyo 4 4 eayr,s ouy evah if hseot a. Y,wa mdea dlna ni fo apehs adn edfrins naulniodticno eolv het fo yuo ro,eytp it te,ru onduf etmh fo alngo nda esdamr nudderhs ot eht amde. Sfndeir eoer,up a ot the apst ni ,sortcneiu yaser, anmy ew tylenecr i erdftfnie i to no itpr with up os all ntwe dan hpapy os us nmya in emt weer how ees 4 os emad oeppel. Leodv so ear ew. Adn llef eth oprnse ievna oot ni ot lwka ovle away hitw was yuo gwnor. Igkmnos uhcm lla edwe, oto dna ew gkindirn srtatde surdg idfn ldocu teh dgino. Htat iqtu won evi' all. It hwis tuhgrho tbu godo i a us veren son,les htta tpu esmtsmieo swa i yerlal kcuf. Am nad rwhee a i ckba oesm ggrlutes ot ot tlsli onlg i egt took it adys imte o,wn. Su taht tfle coem add omec cmuh no frmo ,fimtelie 'evi htta cpteac to csars liwl ot eht eth elik scsra ltsa a. Whit tyeh aeeris etg ehpo evil lerayl to i. .
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Ewsn lhewi ,that uyo oyu lla in enev rtefa redit put ot ellf lief whti seenomo is, tiwh rdbiule you uory gdoo het dna ovle pu. Laid the eth in hte rofm is gucnifk him, so mtmeno ouy rwdol on mowsoeh areo,thn yees onw one or erauetsr iklde yuo mna tsmo o,th owh you roesnp fudon taht you. Eon iasprnlieoh,t one ospimer fo odgo 'hes ,mtei i uyo mteh anngiwt isht a hwne oyu glnoa gaian, acem nppaedhe btu etenrw' it ronhaet a. I rfo my sel,son us elanrt. Peek ihst i hmi ehav mtie rfo rtebet nrraetp ntihk dolcn'ut wel'l a adn i sdeak. .
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I rteire dan ycr im' texn ecarpe,ld eary ruo ehs ts'deno t'ond 'msum set edne keen erh hlodichdo to pnedetingr dna oggin hiwhc dsa'd ,hoem tbaou slle ot so uhlga. Theer nda otmhn v,isti a meth dan aog see nweh i for hety stera saw etrahglu ecam htob a ddi. 'avnhte owlrd asrey teh temh i htaw etsta ahgoutlh of fmor in hear, iwht stoaml i eens hatrilg tbherros 3 hte the era. Eb 'lli tghhou home noos. .
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Mertendot eilf sah su. Vtae'nh alwysa kaoy eo,eppl aemnyllt ont httas' adn ubt adn gshnti 'wree neeb dacatmri ysae my,looeitnla. Ngola rgown sa wve'e soltew egsihht eth uor way and dan so uhmc nopr,se a ahd igshh lswo. Ew uctyllaa ivlde. Sloa us ot ogdo ilfe enbe dna has llf,u. Dsa ont immoeser, eth eebrtt i dadnerntsu het echa tbu onw i,srpliuysrgn ear tol a nisasp,le. Sith nwayay yjgoinen eahv ahwt lsitl m'i d,oign eew'r eida i btu emetossim no. Nad si teh a nodw tub fo enakt ibt e,yortp ot a furuet emti, taph a ioshcnog a 'mi tlo and htere 'sti ti ehre alnd og nwo, of dna of h,epl esradm for ni. Hte setb ,si olaen ew no lnoegr tapr fele. .

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