A letter from July 31st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Hello. This night a year ago you were violently kicked out from your only safe place in this world and your heart broke. It was around this time you made that really obvious cut on your arm that no one even asked you about. Has the scar faded at all? It was a time filled with so much sadness and crying in public places and late nights trapped in cigarette smoke. This night right now you are filled with overwhelming sadness. The career you fought so hard for just a year ago is now something you can't wait to throw away. You couldn't keep your promise to quit smoking and you haven't gotten any healthier. You are feeling so alone right now and you are so scared of the future. Something snapped within you and nothing excites you anymore. I pray that all this has changed. Hopefully you are still surrounded by the people who mean the most to you. Are you finally doing something good for the ones who need it more? Have you fallen in love and maybe had your heart broken again? Have you travelled to new places and collected stories you will never stop sharing? You recently came back from a trip to Taiwan. I want to remind you of your last night there, when we sped up the mountain on motorbikes and drank coffee to the sounds of our own laughter. I hope life has been kind enough to bless you with more good memories like these, too many to count. I hope your parents are finally getting the retirement they so deserve in a place they love. Is Mama finally back home with her favourite breakfast, the farms and the wet market? Are your brothers doing alright for themselves? My wish for you now is that life does not torment you. That the ruts you find yourself in are shallow and you grow immensely as a person. If you are reading this, hopefully you are laughing at how the years between us has made the sad memories almost painless. I have no idea what I'm doing in life but maybe you do. That's all I need right now to keep going.

Epilogue

3 months later

Hello!

It's us again. Reading this made me smile, then made me cry again. I'm finding it very difficult to find the words to reply to this, but here it...

Sego. .
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Uyo lsilt rniregefr no hivecehwr the mra, oen rhee uyor lal rscsa rae t,o rwee. My iv'e a itsll hate ppoeel se,omarrf been i ltleti dwon tub ncuhoitg nerkob. Ot ato,msl htat i utb enwk as yclku ecapsse het ym ar,le aevh wenh rwee i am i intop psta nda tath aedr onw flie ym hte msmostiee tnhe nleisgef so i of itkhn ta gramnibrssae liyda omrf ndtdi' hits avhe i. 'eiv ehnv'at tcu it ogulhath i wnod eimnsemly iqtu io,smkng. Noly is gilvin ni yfltelsei rureclnty hahretlie noennevtirm am fo my cauesbe the i. Kile nyeroam eextic leef tills osme t'dones me sy,ad feil i nda. Dba acll dan i si tnex si and eon it tujs yads oehp aulsuly the ertt,be meth. .
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Nda dit'dn i ocem bakc emodv ywaa. Swt'an tth,a inkht byema oyu ueacs ,fkcu ewetnr' i ixetgpcen. Enwk 4 asw bymea aeknt ettlil ssle i've 4 easy,r ignmco rhee htwa ssyueilor eebn eifl a a,syer uwlod yuo fi dan eahv you tsoeh. Fo ,way dan haesp ru,te ot edam doufn fo daem teh yo,retp and yuo the glaon dsnurehd evlo amesrd in it hmet fo ldna udacnotoinlni fsiendr. On wiht nda a emda eth in ni i erew yppah rinsuet,co ees lal to peepol newt i ew rp,oeeu ,ysrea past su ynam to ohw rpti mnya so tme pu os so neefdritf 4 ecyelrtn dfriesn. So velod aer ew. Veol llfe het to uyo was nad htiw in gwnor eianv aywa alwk too nprseo. Drusg ngdio omikgsn too all atrdets the dan ndfi ,eedw uclod innikrgd we hmuc. Atth onw qitu ie'v lla. I but hatt siwh i thhrgou upt lealyr ti us a eevnr mtsmoseei snosl,e odgo swa cukf. Iltls gte took lngo won, ot a tesgrlgu ot esmo dysa nad i itme hwere ti am i ckba. Ascsr i,fetlime a slta to eocm eht lkie on hcum tath ccpaet 'eiv teh meco wlil rssca to su atth lfte mrof dad. Epoh hiwt eivl get i erylla to eserai hyte. .
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Ulridbe pu tiwh in all hweil t,hat efatr uoy feli lvoe nad senw hwti ensoome itder your utp the gdoo even si, ot you oyu elfl. Wdlor amn lida on erna,oth mntmoe nduof hte hte ooehsmw ,hot hm,i or uyo kcfuign si npsoer eurasert ldeki oyu ysee atth onw hwo eon oyu teh os most romf ni oyu. A ewhn one tim,e nloga tub ti i of nitgawn sproeim a oyu ehpndaep thnorea oodg one arhitilsoepn, uyo trewen' meht 'seh ang,ai ceam shit. Elatnr ym ofr us i ,sonesl. Deksa hvae adn htsi a ekpe mtei rnerapt i erettb imh le'wl rof i tlcodnu' tinkh. .
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'adds txne yaer t'ndo elsl rhe i ot hes and dnee gahlu iongg uro ereintngpd rteier ocdiolhhd ets and cry h,moe u'mms obatu cpel,reda mi' ot edotns' knee ihwch so. I dna ewhn fro taesr goa a a adn arletugh ddi was emth hbot ntomh etyh rhete ees stvii, meca. I i mrfo thesrrob hte thalohgu staet dolwr are,h temh esayr iahtlgr n'hvate otlsma in hwta eesn hte 3 itwh the ear of. Tohugh l'li be meoh onso. .
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Su lfei etdonmtre has. Kayo eenb hstta' and eonyoltilam, slayaw e'wre nto saye ciamtdar etynlmal ubt dan etnv'ha po,pele tnhgis. The oru sghih ognla ep,snro had a so wslo adn dna swlteo rgonw ev'we hmcu ihhgset wya as. Llctyaua ew ildve. Dan nbee to us oogd llf,u lsoa lefi hsa. Iurslnyigprs, ads olt laissnp,e but a aceh ton denusatrdn msi,reome teh wno are ebttre eth i. Otmiemsse anawyy mi' isltl i eewr' aedi wtha hsit nio,gd on gnjeiony utb have. Dna it tekan tpha eph,l a ot pt,roye 'im won, nwdo ignhsooc ni and tub rmdaes of the fo nda is here otl s'it of erftuu itb a ereht emi,t a nadl go rfo a. Ew oealn i,s steb eefl arpt olrnge on eth. .

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