A letter from July 31st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Hello. This night a year ago you were violently kicked out from your only safe place in this world and your heart broke. It was around this time you made that really obvious cut on your arm that no one even asked you about. Has the scar faded at all? It was a time filled with so much sadness and crying in public places and late nights trapped in cigarette smoke. This night right now you are filled with overwhelming sadness. The career you fought so hard for just a year ago is now something you can't wait to throw away. You couldn't keep your promise to quit smoking and you haven't gotten any healthier. You are feeling so alone right now and you are so scared of the future. Something snapped within you and nothing excites you anymore. I pray that all this has changed. Hopefully you are still surrounded by the people who mean the most to you. Are you finally doing something good for the ones who need it more? Have you fallen in love and maybe had your heart broken again? Have you travelled to new places and collected stories you will never stop sharing? You recently came back from a trip to Taiwan. I want to remind you of your last night there, when we sped up the mountain on motorbikes and drank coffee to the sounds of our own laughter. I hope life has been kind enough to bless you with more good memories like these, too many to count. I hope your parents are finally getting the retirement they so deserve in a place they love. Is Mama finally back home with her favourite breakfast, the farms and the wet market? Are your brothers doing alright for themselves? My wish for you now is that life does not torment you. That the ruts you find yourself in are shallow and you grow immensely as a person. If you are reading this, hopefully you are laughing at how the years between us has made the sad memories almost painless. I have no idea what I'm doing in life but maybe you do. That's all I need right now to keep going.

Epilogue

3 months later

Hello!

It's us again. Reading this made me smile, then made me cry again. I'm finding it very difficult to find the words to reply to this, but here it...

Geos. .
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Ot, rscas ltlsi eon mar, oruy you eher teh era lla egiernrrf reew no evhchriwe. Iev' eittll okenbr aeht a ubt srme,rfao giotuchn i llsti pleepo ebne ondw ym. Ahtt morf mtmisseeo stih am i edar as lfesigen ta i lr,ae tbu my dlyai pinot hte dn'itd wenh my i nihkt lfei ot dan taht ekwn heav atolm,s hnte erarssagmbni teh onw i cyulk cseeasp so i satp reew heva fo. Ynmseemil tcu iqtu hatohlug it no,gksmi i vtha'en 'evi wdno. In am fo hiteelhra is seuacbe glvini loyn fltseyiel creulytrn rvenennimto i the ym. Iefl emso eticex me yads, 'edotsn i nda iltls efle kile omnyear. And days tr,bete i txen acll ehmt it is utjs lluusya is oen ehop teh bad dan. .
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Wyaa omvde acbk omce dna ntdid' i. Ignxeetcp uecsa naw'ts htta, ene'twr eaybm cfu,k hntki uoy i. Fi life tlltie tshoe oyu nad a ysear, hwat ahev ehre oyu 'iev enakt se,ary 4 sles eben mcinog wenk aws beyma reuoyslis 4 oduwl. Nadl idrfsen of veol etr,u mteh adn idoilanutnnco amde ot it masred amed uyo awy, sahpe of the fnudo ,pretyo in dnudhrse fo adn ongal het. Up cseur,into were adn no ntlcyeer see i os taps amny ewnt i ot lal ni epeou,r us ieffndrte emt ew aedm teh irtp oelppe ot in yppah whit ae,rys woh a yamn rdifesn os os 4. Rea we ovdle os. Whti lkaw eavni rwgno nad ni swa elov eth yuo ornesp too ywaa fell to. Asetdrt we sdugr cmhu ed,we nksmogi indf lla iogdn too idirnngk teh ldocu dan. All tuiq ttah vi'e won. Hiws tup cfku i eos,sln emsmiseto ttha but odog a lreayl ti aws i tuhgrho eevrn su. A ot ow,n srgltgue ma adn i syad ietm llist cbka it whree to etg otok long eoms i. Ttha htat a us atsl lilw e'iv rfom to eth cemo tlef ekli pccaet srcsa scsar on cemo ot mchu add liefmiet, the. Twhi to evli get peoh tyhe reaeis i layler. .
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Yuo eht s,i uoyr all dna utp wnes ditre ilhwe lfel oogd vole ni bidluer iwth ot tiwh file ,hatt pu tfrae vnee eomonse ouy uoy. In nma oarn,teh fmro owh esye m,hi ufond ro own teh uyo wrldo uyo eikdl ldia psonre reesartu soeomhw on is ,hto guncfik oemtmn het uoy noe the ttah uyo os tosm. Eon acme noetahr pdhenpea uyo esmirpo erai,ipstnhol ogdo te,im but a,naig gnnitaw ti oen a uoy tmhe e'sh this of nhwe rewten' a i lonag. Eranlt rof su my i ses,onl. Ekpe a hsit emti i ofr c'dulnto edaks nad i bertte rareptn imh ellw' vahe kinth. .
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Add's ggoin lels and texn os eedn 'mmsu i enek nad eertri m'i ruo ehr no'edts ycr dcele,par arey est 'dtno haglu ,omeh ptnienedgr iholdocdh seh hichw to ot uobta. Hrtee eyht wsa satre mnhot did ohbt cmae nwhe i letgahru mhet orf nad see aog nda a a ,tsvii. Het ear etmh ayres i ni ense sobhtrre 3 oastlm satet the wrodl tilaghr hitw glhauhot fo teh mrfo re,ah wtah i nea'vht. Osno l'li meoh be hhougt. .
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Su ash efil notetmdre. H'ttas nda a'netvh tmadarci been koay tno utb nsgtih laysaw rw'ee o,pelpe ,illooentmya lntyalme yase nda. Ihhsg a w'eev oganl teh oelstw so dan rou ywa owls nad es,opnr gehhist wgnor adh uhcm sa. Eilvd ew auytlacl. Ot eilf ,lulf osal dogo and has su eebn. Dsa echa het a ryiislp,rungs ubt era ttrebe i otl hte paisnl,se etdunndrsa ton meoseirm, nwo. Evah i no sthi d,gino i'm aide eiestomsm waht gnyionej rew'e tlsil but awyayn. Icnsoohg a st'i og it ot dna o,pyter hatp itb a in tlo eh,lp urutef a itme, adln fo eht a adn ereh fo dan eterh btu rsdeam own, rfo m'i wdon natke si of. Ew lefe het geornl bset ,si no naoel ptra. .

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