A letter from July 31st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Hello. This night a year ago you were violently kicked out from your only safe place in this world and your heart broke. It was around this time you made that really obvious cut on your arm that no one even asked you about. Has the scar faded at all? It was a time filled with so much sadness and crying in public places and late nights trapped in cigarette smoke. This night right now you are filled with overwhelming sadness. The career you fought so hard for just a year ago is now something you can't wait to throw away. You couldn't keep your promise to quit smoking and you haven't gotten any healthier. You are feeling so alone right now and you are so scared of the future. Something snapped within you and nothing excites you anymore. I pray that all this has changed. Hopefully you are still surrounded by the people who mean the most to you. Are you finally doing something good for the ones who need it more? Have you fallen in love and maybe had your heart broken again? Have you travelled to new places and collected stories you will never stop sharing? You recently came back from a trip to Taiwan. I want to remind you of your last night there, when we sped up the mountain on motorbikes and drank coffee to the sounds of our own laughter. I hope life has been kind enough to bless you with more good memories like these, too many to count. I hope your parents are finally getting the retirement they so deserve in a place they love. Is Mama finally back home with her favourite breakfast, the farms and the wet market? Are your brothers doing alright for themselves? My wish for you now is that life does not torment you. That the ruts you find yourself in are shallow and you grow immensely as a person. If you are reading this, hopefully you are laughing at how the years between us has made the sad memories almost painless. I have no idea what I'm doing in life but maybe you do. That's all I need right now to keep going.

Epilogue

3 months later

Hello!

It's us again. Reading this made me smile, then made me cry again. I'm finding it very difficult to find the words to reply to this, but here it...

Sgeo. .
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No errgfienr lla tlisl scasr neo ehre reew ,arm you wricheveh yuor the ot, era. I eoplpe wnod eben etah a but eborkn 'ive tlietl illts my oearsmrf, htcoinug. I ,somalt the n'idtd my i pats eahv so nlfegsei of uckly eerw htta teh mofr to sa tath rea,l secpsea am raed i i wno ta assebinrgamr lydai dan semieostm hnwe my knwe htsi i utb efli hnet eahv thikn ipotn. Mo,nkgis utc halhuotg taenv'h inylesmem dwon ti tqui i'ev i. Cueeabs am seyflelit i fo uecyrrtln my ltrheieah is lyon ilvngi in tenrenonivm the. Em d,say dna eextci te'ndso efle iekl earyomn file llits mose i. Tsju oehp bad it is hte sady dna teert,b nad nxet hemt uyslula neo si i llac. .
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Di'dtn nad edvom waya acbk i cmoe. Pgtnceiex ntrew'e suaec kc,uf yemab ,that i uyo tanw's ithnk. Ludow nad bymae mioncg was have s,eyar rlseysiou nekw 4 ebne stheo a hwta uoy oyu lfie sesl itltel 4 vie' asery, hree ankte if. Undof ehmt y,aw fo edam teh asmder ti yreto,p to te,ur adn evlo of adn the aseph neifrsd oyu ladn eamd fo nedhsrud in golna ilotioanndcnu. ,resya eelppo rp,eeou nc,rotseui met i ni rewe su ithw ript rtyecenl paphy ew lal so ewtn eadm owh mnya i myna no up os sapt to 4 os ot fndriefte nad eht fseidnr a ni ees. We so rae lodve. Vole ot ni kalw oto rsenpo ivnae waya dan ellf ngowr the aws oyu ithw. Kinrdngi ew dusgr muhc teh lal dttesra nidgo too ,eewd soimkgn fnid dan locdu. Uitq lla won ahtt vei'. O,enlss eylrla aws tpu us it ihsw i good a kcuf tessieomm ttah but nerve i ghouhrt. Wrehe eosm ti sday a kcba ot ootk glustegr tge i imet and w,on ma onlg to iltls i. Lfet teh mchu will epctac htta su racss mcoe ot dad stal etimfl,ei a evi' on leki het htta oecm ot form rcssa. To ithw eoph ryllae vlie yhte egt i eerais. .
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Erfat oyu thta, lfle eesonom wehil utp is, ruyo odgo ni all enev ieurbdl nda iwth thiw yuo ifle oyu dietr eht nesw to up oelv. Duofn yees esowmoh het the nserpo yuo one won tomemn man yuo yuo cifnukg teh os ,hot uoy wlrod kedli no ,hmi mfor htat taueersr or is ni most who h,trnaoe aild. Iomrpes npedaeph nlgao neo igna,a a hes' fo neo uoy tnipierh,soal wree'tn hnwe ti hits tm,ei cmae a gwaintn i uoy ubt meht ratohne odgo. Ym rfo us i lnrate esn,lso. Ettber hintk i htis ekdas a i emti lwe'l mhi tparnre aveh loc'nudt dna keep for. .
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Oru 'im os eerlcpda, next umm's ryea eekn tse dan ndto' gpidretenn btauo dna adsd' eertir ciodhdhlo ggion to ryc ehr ende ot hgaul lsel chhwi moe,h osdtne' hse i. Ees a orf a dna nad ddi etmh eerth tegauhrl wsa mtnoh ivtis, boht gao eamc ehnw i etasr hyet. Aslotm dolrw 3 i fo the heantv' romf hte hitw oberhsrt eth atghlri in awth era hear, them enes ysaer i ettsa hluohatg. Eb mohe snoo il'l ugohth. .
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Us hsa ilef emdtortne. Eneb lltnmyea navteh' and tbu okya ton thsnig dna e'wre iyeltm,noaol esya imtcdara popel,e wasayl tah'ts. Way weltso teihghs ee'vw golna cmuh as r,eonps swlo gwonr os nda a dah ihgsh and rou het. Ew autylalc vilde. Us hsa nebe ufll, lief dan doog loas ot. A eahc rae teh lot onw spgriursnil,y eht i mieem,sro ont dnedanrstu tbeter das tbu als,npsei. I'm d,ogni hawt aveh waanyy no tub w'eer i illts osmemseti daie yiejnogn thsi. Uuefrt a o,wn etrhe sdmrae olt of dan fo a a the tiem, ti wdon ereh ptro,ye dlna inohgcso tbu ibt a ketna 'mi apth dna 'its nda fo ni og ofr is to h,epl. ,is ew leef oelan legonr no arpt setb eht. .

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