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Dear FutureMe, There is so much hope in me that this major breakup would bring about new and wonderful things. Time to MOVE ON, to leave Kit the way he wants to live his life, to a new place to live, to Christmas spent in Boracay, and to finding more meaningful friendships. I would only look back to this circumstance, written to Irene and some other people related to her on Feb. 14, 2010, with thankfulness that I was able to overcome successfully. Flashback: Ken - "Getting on with life is much better than hanging around with senseless and emotionally pathetic people!" This is an update that appeared under Joaquin Antonio Ramirez’s Yahoo profile on October 5 last year. Interestingly, that same profile tab was what led to the discovery of the details of an extramarital affair with Irene Beltran Szabo. Just to get the story straight, Joaquin, or Kit, had a major falling out with his wife as early as November last year. The issues? Well, they are the type that would plague any married couple. In Kit’s case, those issues plagued a good second half of his 12-year marriage. Lack of integrity, financial responsibility (no savings, inability to stretch his take-home pay), lack of a sense of a solid personal vision for his career --- these were his wife’s issues against him. As for Kit, he complained about a lack of appreciation, not being trusted enough, not being treated (more like “not feeling”) as if he were the head of the household. Any other couple could have the same issues. Thing is, Kit will always blame his wife for everything. He will not even consider that: a) his wife’s company (her referral) was responsible for getting him his job at his present company, where Irene works. Kit was employed on December 7, 2009. b) his wife pays for more than half of the household expenses (so she must be earning much more than him, right?), and while Kit manages to pay his share, would often end up borrowing cash from friends, heck, even from the maid. c) his wife’s family morally supported the couple. You could say that Kit is “estranged” from his own parents and siblings, although his mother and wife relate to each other very well. d) his wife’s savings paid for three-quarters of the wedding in 1997. Kit paid for his suit. The rest of the reception expenses came from monetary gifts. e) his wife’s earnings paid for the hospital delivery of their baby. Neither of them came from affluent families, mind you. In fact, they were both jobless when they were starting out in marriage. They simply had different attitudes. Wife: Earn it, save it, but live a little. Husband: Earn it, spend it like there’s no tomorrow. The unresolved issues got bundled with new issues, too, Kit resorted to getting money out of his wife’s wallet (at least twice). He started to act irresponsibly around their 8-year-old daughter by choosing to watch gory stuff like “Blade 3” in the living room while his wife was helping his daughter study. So much for choice of entertainment, during the falling out he kept three pirated DVDs (the 16-in-1 type) of porn movies. (How sick and addicted has he become? He has a daughter!!!) He used to get dressed in the living room, not minding if their 50-year-old housekeeper was busy in the kitchen! So much for wanting to be respected as the head of the household. Well, after the falling out, Kit pretty much says it loud and clear, “I don’t want to have anything to do with you anymore.” Kit blames his wife for him starting the affair (“You forced me to do this!), which by the way, he just blatantly throws the wife in his face, and then casually tells his 8-year-old daughter over the phone. Sick! He refused to give out the name or even came clean as to how he expected the marriage to end. He just took off with his things. It was tough on the wife --- was this a cruel joke?!? That fast?!? Kit wanted to hide the details of the affair for himself, but didn’t remind Irene the part about posting the details of their affair on her numerous social networking sites. Just type “Irene Beltran Szabo” on Google search and see how the results compare (include classified ads and dating sites) when you use your own name. I mean, this girl lives an online life, usually describing herself usually in this manner: I am a Filo by heart with an Oz philosophy I enjoy clubbin' as well as going to amusement parks I am mature but a child at heart I live a simple life but I like life's complexity I love my family but I'm independent I find silence peaceful and music as relaxing I look so Asian... I'm 1/2 Hungarian, 3/8 Filipino, 1/8 Chinese... I live in Australia but I stay and work in the Philippines... I was born and raised in the Philippines... So technically, I'm a Pinay! But, from what we know, Irene studied and graduated from high school and college in the Philippines, and held several jobs in Manila. So maybe, she has this exceptional skill of living in two countries at the same time. Well, a liking for anything foreign is one of the things that she has in common with Kit. Looking at the guy, one would think he would look American or Spanish. Naturally, you’d ask, Where are you from? On a good day, he’d say Spain and will proceed to out-chat whoever he’s talking to in English. At a recent hospital confinement, he indicated “Spain” as his place of birth. His recent resume includes his affiliation with some soccer group in Madrid. He DOES NOT even own a passport, nor has he travelled outside of his native country, the Philippines. Kit and Irene do have common interests, wine, food, and muay thai. Kit teaches Irene muay thai, gratis. He’s got this pretty weird idea that it is important to have a pair of kickboxing shorts for practice, so he’s required that of his friends, cousins, even nieces. Kit is very protective of Irene’s identity. He threw such a raging fit (it’s an understatement --- there’s a summons from the barangay because his wife filed a complaint) when the wife took off with his phone to get contact detail. What wife would not go nuts wondering who this nameless girlfriend is that Kit proudly announced that he has, and wants to introduce, to his daughter? But you see, Irene’s Twitter, Friendster, MySpace, Multiply, and Facebook accounts did the job... Strangely, almost as quickly as the romantic affair started, Kit tells his brother, and even the maid, that he has PLANS of GOING TO AUSTRALIA. Hmmmm. Well, Kit does have some close relatives residing there, but he has never considered this decision before recently. I doubt it if they even know about what’s going on with his marriage. Before Christmas, Irene introduces Kit to her grandparents in San Mateo, Rizal (that’s according to her Tweet), on the same day that Kit was supposed to attend his daughter’s musical recital. Seeing that little girl’s anxiety could have melted anyone’s heart. She had no idea that her father did not even think about her at that time. Well, Kit would always say that he’s thinking about her often. Perhaps it’s because during those times he’d visit Irene’s grandparents’ place where he would converse (and even warmly embrace) Irene’s niece, who is almost the same age as his daughter? But what exactly did Kit really tell Irene’s grandparents about himself and his background? How much of this does Irene really know??? Let’s see... According to how grandma recalls it, Kit said that: 1. He is 32 years old. 2. His parents are both deceased. The father passed away years ago, and his mother, very recently. 3. His younger brother lives abroad. 4. His older brother lives in Pasig. 5. He is single, and has no children. 6. He lived in a place called Tandang Sora (Quezon City), hence he needed to look for a place in Markina. 7. His being new at his job was due to the fact that he just arrived from staying in another country. (Thailand? Could be It is related to Muay Thai, though.) 8. He did not mention previous employment with local companies. Is any of this true? No. N...O...NO! Does Irene really care whether any of these details checks out? Love is blind, they say. Would she still be blind when she learns of his violent behavior, the people he hurt (physically) in the past, his pathological lies (nationality, whereabouts, finances, even names). Kit has adopted nicknames that colleagues of different companies would call him, like “Scorpy” or “Ken”. In fact, a few days ago, there was a credit card marketer asking for a “Ken Ramsky” and offering him a cash loan. Wouldn’t she be wondering why Kit would not last very long (1 – 2 years) with the companies that he worked? That Kit has problems respecting authority and even the law? Does she know how he would get hot-headed with cabbies? There is a blotter report at the police station in Barangay San Antonio where a cabbie complained that Kit kicked the side of his cab in anger? Irene might easily find it because she resides in Barangay Olympia. No, Kit wouldn’t hurt Irene, though she’ll be embarrassed when she hears from colleagues about Kit’s possible conflicts with other colleagues or supervisors in the future. It HAD happened several times. Maybe Irene does not care. Just look at her FaceBook profile and that should give you a pretty good idea of how she is protective of that relationship. In the end, what does one get out of this essay? Well, if truth be told, then those people close to Irene’s heart should know about it. Irene’s 26. Kit’s 36. Who do you think is taking advantage of whom? Kit has his sights set for “Down Under.” For the wife, it’s good riddance. The terms are “No Return, No Exchange.” Likewise, it would be fitting to say that she is... "Getting on with life is much better than hanging around with senseless and emotionally pathetic people!"