A letter from July 9th, 2018

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, How are you? Are you happy? Have you started testosterone? I don’t think you’ve gotten surgery but are you near it? Who are you with? Did Chloe hurt you or did you hurt her? Are you still together? I really hope you are but if not, I’m sorry to whoever you’re dating for bringing it up. I’m self conscious about a lot and I want to know what’s changed. My mouth, I don’t think that’ll change though. I’m short. I have small hands and feet. My eyebrows are thin. My thighs are too big. People like to pretend I’m a little child. Do people still think you’re stupid and need to be protected? Has your voice gotten any deeper? Do you still play the ukulele? I know this won’t mean much because I’m 15 and what do I know, but I really think you’re going to get through this if you haven’t already. I hope you haven’t hurt yourself. The last time should be February 2018. Does that sound like an old number? 2019 sounds fake to me. I wonder if I’ll even still have the same email. Or if I decided to go to college. I really want to become an actor but it’s really hard, are you doing good with that? Have you given up? What do you do? I really hope you’re ok and I wish you could write back to me. I love you. I wish I was there instead of here.

Epilogue

about 8 hours later

My whole life I’ve been quiet, I’ve always felt like my voice will never be heard. I don’t know who would care for me or have empathy without expecting something...

Trnuer ni. Ot enhw i tge utp smlfye rtfsi? do.
Ivfe sfleym etiwda rmof tge erysa to vei’ an i imlae stuj elraizde. ,crae malie ot odul uto mnigka aehc erda htta erus uqtsneoi wtih i rsawne. Bad ilfe a pphya enlamt ubt mi mi spto in in. I dmtai 2910 ruht cotober btu em cnoutdl’ esh it lnitu. Htem for woh dsjeug ondt’ tub cear i alcatuyl em touba noenay tiisrsiueenc vhae i seoht. .
I oto voel oyu.
I wtan i leef eyslmf rmfcoto s,myelf i dna hgu atnw hswo ggtiten aws ot kbca ovel ’dntdi i ot thne.
I enatdw to tlef monihgtse ot in i lfie apdrpte so kool csaueeb wrofard.
Efi,l im 1t2s it’s my toyda gndio brttee bdyatrhi in hmuc. Oyu eenv shti ohcllao wsa ’ntod ot dzailere tian knhit ubt gongi owrerdi i saw eb seom i ilspe. Rfd,nei ni i opgrsu aevh yesa utffs fo vahe is’t nalsp the a aehv esrndif i refodme, with na ebst truue,f i i ienc i ’owhs my evha can my frdfao own oemorat bjo, i k,ile. Shit rhad nda evereds i stih dewkro orf i. Adn krweod ouy fro ouy darh eeevdsr tihs hist. Oto i wsih reew yuo erhe. Obaut sthi to my think i thiw ti enrgouy atbuo lamie sel,f i tnihk veihgetryn oangl kalngti. Ongeruy qeuti nioestsqu ot a lto rmtofco ldeuo’wv i ganemii ryt esfl kdesa i hte i my and. Ttah ayd maocuctimoinn fof, 51 asw i ofrm i i nted in up a me hsawt’ taht ughcta to tbu tge ldo eritcd henibtorg sith rvee henw is so me aesry. Rtgih ot a dlich ktiglan onw im. Erhe etg laso dchil ti eh drah htat to seevders dan oekrwd. I syfeislelt i nitkh lanemt trtsa tbrietegn eend ym hhalet ot dan.

This user has written an update to this letter.To see what they wrote, please

Write new comment

fracturedfriends:

over 2 years ago

This is probably my favorite one I've ever read, I'm glad you are in better place. I hope you keep giving yourself message from past you. I know I look forward to each email past me sent.

Load more comments