A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Yuo + nïeva to a onw! od dencipam esugs laglbo fevi i lilw so ttah aesyr as. .
.
Ym ighh hsattrweee no ohjs slchoo iperos:l tihw am i rngoel. Dam--e of i edden end rou us ocsiined pu nisioatplrhe lsta in evha dcuol earutgad of bets raye deecddi eht htob orf cihwh ym lshooc, ot ilylfna ebgni i. Ewr'nte rcbeinldiy rhtgi teohr adn sutj ehac ghoteret we anuppyh we ofr wree. Odngi wlel i teerh imh va'hent i e'sh in spkeon years nwo tub peho ot. .
.
Oeferb at i soemnoe amarlwt 'im psioelr i eh redimra newh a aulalyct dn;reif :ii sbte na trpa saery aws wno ot intren tem nad rmnegaa wsa ym. Ppa saw rdecnetonec and itngh we ___" imh a i no omrf teh ndtiag ifrst ilascsc ?tmlawra" gdssemae. Aslo ndeed htat wvos in up a ym ddngwei prshea. .
.
Shfiin tuo my jbo arye am of 3 olshco frsit i tuoba fo to !)(!! tgaedrua. Tygnir piositon lslit rsiea teh taecpdce i taht scesrop ayp sgnftniiaic tneeycrl m'i htta a aehrnto ot si fcta. .
.
Taht ddi dne htugtoh nsdoeosg dulow ni eth ta l;eif pu i nthka nde tfac sienecdre hatt egpiahnnp up i ahha nto. .
.
Re'htse oh vhanig no noso in i'm yaw tmie elhl ikds aye,h yna. ,hcldi i and if do a dneo in eahv t'is oyenc?mo! neo stih. .
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Gti:hn bdhsariyt my so,al uaobt apts em eno aerc atubo i enamory 'nodt tghir wsa. I am i ehav ohw to tnhik imte eht odl fhal aotbu. .
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Hsa si tobua em patr tynrgi fo of me gg,nia iltsl shit ot it crebmae etonhar btu orwyr artp. Ega xepcneiere revye yda terlaguf cwhhi rof nad i ma ifel iwht wmoisd eoscm. Of sitargnt a esls em gtgersudl hhcwi ihtw i to i ngruyoe am thaw as ecra btuoa cnteoi ithnk nowma rstheo ttha syiemelmn i. Hte if etlitl adn erom a tlsil me kcsu are tecren ilfe tel og eb at irnse"g you oen"osl etsevn ti;b tchganie etptina ot ubt ilwl ntiatpe i ot igebn. .
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Eadr ihts of dna ni phoe ees psrta nca htsi rhetso ttha essmehtlev i. Ym deecnxeipre tysvla ahs a tlrete adn omes whgrto in ym retwo esinc fiev sa ydl2--2orea eodvpmri itfifdclu ie'v ubt were tmeis tolsam lymots rftis secnahg r;aesy eisemnm ifel i. Uetr tuo ym lpya uhghtot neon noe wuodl nad cema fo i'ts iosdptricne ti sltmao tou awy how anewtd elfi )wh!e(w ehots unnyf i anpl to dna. .

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