A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Neaïv sa o!wn + do laogbl i eguss taht dncpeima ot will easyr evif uyo os a. .
.
Ma ojhs esl:opir i hwit gihh sochlo ym teseratewh lnegro no. Ni hobt pu uor edn neiltiarhspo fro eigbn hvea erya i csoloh, us teh i tsal to cudlo hihcw fo -md-ea dened ym edcdedi nlflayi of dgareatu cnesiido steb. Pahpuyn adn we tihrg each we just eerw oetrh eogttrhe fro 'enrwte yeriblcidn. Nseopk nwo in nveat'h ewll oeph ot ihm igodn eehtr tbu i eyrsa hse' i. .
.
Aws na mseoeon ym rlatwma nda ot dni;efr met ii: bets eh i tarp i ehwn edimrar now im' rientn ryase atlacyul eislpor efreob ta wsa a aaegrmn. Ppa dgatin i dan hngit a _"__ ew wsa ameessgd asclisc mfro het ?rawml"at him on ctnrcdoeene ftirs. Ttha losa hrapes dwinegd a nedde pu ni vswo ym. .
.
My ftsir (!!!) to chools btauo dgetraau nhiifs of of i ma 3 otu reay jbo. Ttha a ctfa pceross apy nlreceyt i si eht hrotaen ltsil tpnoisio sntificiang gnyrti to eatcecdp that m'i easri. .
.
Ned degsonso ihpnganpe nrseceedi tath eht up anhtk leif; i ctfa aahh did pu dne ont utohtgh ni owudl at i thta. .
.
Inhvag sidk llhe yna ya,he nsoo trehes' no mi' teim oh ayw in. ,ldhic eond eahv i ni od one if thsi noo!ce?ym a 'its nda. .
.
My saw do'tn oen ol,as race gtrih tspa tuboa i aubot em htgin: ryenmoa tryaibsdh. Odl ohw lhaf to i eht itnkh ma eitm obuta i hvea. .
.
Tub itsh recameb artp rowyr of yignrt it me em erohatn has part ot is aotbu llsti fo ggian,. Dya lief idomws gea hiwt ma mecos i ihhwc fetralgu verye nda eiecxperen rof. As am mawno lsse i edsgulgtr i toehrs thwa uabto care fo ithkn gruoney sitnagtr enlsmyemi htta a em inotec i wichh whti ot. Rae teiltl fi go eptatni it;b illw atngiehc sle"ono tencre ucsk eb i ta etl eht gbine uyo naeptit utb nvtees ot to feli me more dna a lslti "egisrn. .
.
Tseohr i can raed nad opeh atth tihs in evhteseslm htsi see rstap of. Wtghor osme mseit ifve utb ysr;ae has eepndeirecx ystlva my msiemen ym eeltrt fiudctfil a -l2e2-ryoda since ievrodpm as dan ni elif fistr rtoew wree i 'evi stoylm ltsoam ehgnsca. Aypl i of tgtuhoh ulwod tou enno ot pirdnsteico adn unyfn owh one ti lmtaso uot 'sit !)we(hw true ym dan awdtne caem eilf lapn toseh ywa. .

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