A letter from June 21st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Lwli ot ïevna ttha ollagb own! do + as ryesa i mencaipd so a gsseu uoy vfei. .
.
Sorie:pl ym josh ma on hitw i hcosol enogrl ghih etretsawhe. Edn us alst to fo cdeeidd hbot ofr vaeh ym iwhch atenlpoirhsi best iisocned eray fo rou -ema-d teh ludoc igebn i nalylfi endde i slc,ooh in dreaautg up. Dna hrtoe we sutj rwee rhetegot ahuyppn aceh fro nilyricbde griht erntw'e ew. Ryaes hs'e ehtre to nwo utb ni pheo spoenk noigd i mhi evhtan' i well. .
.
Awrtalm ot :ii ewhn eh nnitre enamrag oefber etm was uylaactl tpra erdmiar i'm a nmoeose wsa erasy ;drifen bste an my at i onw i isoerlp adn. Lasccsi __"_ was niadgt nda tignh eth mw"lt?raa rfmo i ihm no pap stirf we a teocenrnecd eeasmdsg. A edden ginedwd lsao pehars my pu hatt ni owsv. .
.
Lscoho to out 3 fo my fsrti i sinihf job am drautgae of !!)!( bauto arey. Pcetadce ooitsinp oeahtrn is iniiftsnacg rseai neylctre a iyngtr apy m'i ttah rspsoce i afct ot listl tath het. .
.
Het ont ttugohh ahah iaghppnne pu ssneodgo tfac i nhakt idd ludow e;lfi i crdsneiee htta in htat at pu dne den. .
.
Kdsi im' no hnvagi in lhle wya temi r'ehtse y,hae ho any onso. Evah in dan oym?co!ne t'is onde eno ,hidcl if a htis i do. .
.
Reca satp higrt ontd' losa, botua eon my dihrybsta em reoamny btoua i aws igh:nt. Hte to i ohw falh ma mtie ihtnk dlo buaot i ahve. .
.
Arpt tub iltls nteahro fo si btuoa to yorrw sah ebcrmea rtap itgnyr em ti ,nggia me ihst fo. Yvree emcso rof yda wiht eag ineerexpec i ilef iwmosd fgruatel ichwh ma dna. Ma hhwci nciteo tiwh noergyu ttha botau i esenmmliy tiagnstr ohsetr em wtah sa a lsse i naowm fo i htnki erac ot dsgterlug. Neo"osl ot enibg dna lltsi eb but vsteen kusc i;bt cneter gncehati aer het if to rgnies" em eifl oyu ettpian at orem lliw lte og ttpeani letitl i a. .
.
Siht seevhsemlt atht fo nca adn ese hepo trasp in ihst i sroteh eard. Ogrwht etretl lefi ecins 2r2-aod-yel erepicxeedn ieensmm saolmt eewr ya;sre idifcfult ymltso mesti my a sa eifv oetrw ni dna tifsr rmeidvop my ahcsneg yaslvt ash i ubt ei'v moes. Otuhhgt emca i lief ewh(w!) uwdlo out urte it's way to dtwane nda tocidpiesrn one how onne npal atolsm lapy uynfn ti adn of hetos ym tou. .

This user has written an update to this letter.To see what they wrote, please

Write new comment

Load more comments