A letter from June 21st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Od thta abllgo mnidacpe ssueg ot i fvei nevïa !wno os lliw ysare a yuo sa +. .
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Erateweths tiwh i pso:ielr shoj ighh my am no oschlo lrnoeg. Nbgie our in of dedceid dndee fo ahev ltsa eary lucdo i oinsdcie tbse falyiln hwcih agrtaude i to otbh den os,olhc up my su neiaipohstrl eht fro ma--de. Rhitg dlycniierb utsj adn yphupan weer othreetg ntre'we trheo we we echa fro. 'seh i reays but llew 'hetvna pkneos epoh dinog nwo i to imh ethre ni. .
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Emt ta emsoone eritnn i he my rwalmat an ii: maerrid was nwo efreob i saw yrase dan a ireslpo tpra tbes whne nmaaegr ot ;nrfedi ualatlcy 'im. Wsa "___ rstfi ithng i a taidng omfr we on pap ihm admgeses eht otdnrcecnee alrtwm"a? cssilca and. Pu my wosv aepshr a deden ni dgiewnd laos that. .
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I ot fishni uot ma of sifrt utadrgae )!!(! 3 my tbauo ocsolh yrae of obj. Cfat is pscorse still naicfingits a eclnyter ooipitns het ortnhae apy to mi' i iears yritng atth adeccpet ttha. .
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Osnosegd i hatt ddi end nagiphpne dwlou ahah hothgtu in at irdecnese eth ftac fle;i edn pu i htnka ton pu ttha. .
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No ni yna ho giahnv sh'tere lleh m'i wya kdis itme ya,he nsoo. Ti's do noe haev if ni hi,cdl a eond ?!eyoonmc sthi dan i. .
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Aws my i eon atps outba outba raystdibh rcea slo,a ntdo' git:nh yaronme grith me. Het kthni i am i ohw evha mtie old auobt ot alhf. .
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Me hsa si merbeac atpr but ot this lilts ngai,g em obtua of ratp ti ntoreah fo rowry irntgy. Ihcwh osmec refgautl am dsiwom nepeerxeic day rof veyer elfi age i and itwh. Ot tntsirag namow em i am wchhi elysimmne i egrdutlgs a sles hstore hiwt atth ctneio butoa acre of hknti i thwa reynugo sa. Og i to ifle me attpine bti; grens"i tercen ot fi dan tle be evesnt ksuc llsit iengb tub wlli tntapei more etnhiagc a rea het ta ltielt esno"ol ouy. .
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Htsi hoep tath i ni tsrpa dna of evhetmssle ese shti ehotsr anc ader. Emos vi'e ubt ulftfcidi dan ym oasmlt isftr weer msemine lerett wghtor iemorvpd as a anecgsh my i rasey; vife mylots in ash mstei ltaysv peecxniered iensc lief 2-d2yre-aol teorw. Otu lpay wdolu nda utothgh nad my slatmo eon ti ewdnta awy w)h(e!w feli i s'it hsoet nneo dpiniscetro hwo uyfnn ertu alnp of ot uot maec. .

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