Dear Future Me

Dear Future Alia, One day, you'll read this and remember when you wrote it. You'll remember that you were going through such a rough time right now and I promise you, don't forget that it will get better. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, hell maybe not even the next day or week. But eventually, it will. You gotta remember that. I also hope that by the time I read this again I will have stopped self harming for good. You are beautiful, and you know that. Don't ever self harm again, as it will just leave scars all over your body and you know you don't want that. You hate your scars, you hate them with a passion. As I'm writing this, I can only remember the hurt and anger that went into those scars. Never let yourself get that angry again. Do things you love, or even take a trip down old memory lane. I suspect that by the time I read this again I won't love Doctor Who or Hetalia as much as I do now. So, Alia, do things you love! Sing! Draw! Write! Read a good book! Dance around like a fool as though no one is watching! Look at old photo albums! Go out side, explore! Watch Doctor Who, or watch Hetalia! Go on Mweor! Love yourself everyday, because there will never be another you. So if you're sad, take a deep breath and be happy. Remember the ones you lost but never lose your grip on reality. Lately, I have been a bit down in the dumps. A few months ago Tom and Papa died and I moved in with mum, and then my ex-friend Emily and I had a fallout and she left me to go date Gabe. It hurts, to watch videos from back then and remember the good times. I hope that someday I can make up with her, but not today. I will let her be mad at me for now, but in a few years I'll send her a message to say "Hey. Remember me? I'm sorry." I'm not ready for that yet. I'm still angry at her for turning her back on me when I needed her most. But I'm also a little sad about it too. Oh yeah, lets talk about school. For the first time, I'm at a school I like! No more behavioral schools or anything like that. I am at such a nice school. The teachers are wonderful, I love the classes, and I am an honor roll student. I have never done that before, I am so proud of myself. I proved Manville wrong that yes, I was ready to leave! I don't care if I have ADHD and require a "special" school. I am perfectly able to cope without all that shit. But lets not rant about that, this should be a happy, nostalgic letter! Alia, I do hope that you have been keeping up with your poetry writing. I know that right now in my life I can't seem to write any poems, but I hope that that writers block went away. Also, I hope you remember your dreams! Go to college, travel the world, open an art studio, stuff like that. I'm sure my dreams will change as I get older, I have no doubts about that. You better be learning your way around whichever town you live in now! You're never going to get over your social anxiety if you stay cooped up in your room on your laptop all the time! Dangit Alia, go explore! It wouldn't hurt to broaden your horizons for once~ Just in case by the time I'm 18 I forget about mweor.com, I wish to remind myself of it. Please, Alia, never forget about mweor. It has kept you alive more times than you can count! Also, I'm going to find some links to send you that you can just go down memory lane a little bit :3 http://mweor.com/index.php wolfprincess7.deviantart.com https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7409200/1/The-Master-in-the-TARDIS http://www.doctorwhowit.com/ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4cnL3DOzLWQ http://i761.photobucket.com/albums/xx256/LuniLulu/thecollab_zps58047df1.png http://fc06.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2014/003/b/f/angel_by_keeper_of_time2013-d70qpzq.png http://fc06.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2014/003/0/4/painting_flowers_by_keeper_of_time2013-d70o0s4.png http://i39.tinypic.com/dmy3w6.jpg http://fc04.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2013/355/e/7/secret_santa_by_mangy_rein_is_insane-d6yujod.png http://oi40.tinypic.com/2mw9de0.jpg http://oi39.tinypic.com/bgwd8l.jpg http://oi40.tinypic.com/v4p56s.jpg http://fc01.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2013/331/a/a/wolf_character_by_keeper_of_time2013-d6vv2hs.png http://fc08.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2013/331/1/f/mweor_special_request_by_keeper_of_time2013-d6vv25s.png http://www.ezimba.com/work/131128C/ezimba17828414018200.png http://www.ezimba.com/work/131128C/ezimba17828456663000.png http://www.ezimba.com/work/131128C/ezimba17828411746200.png http://www.ezimba.com/work/131128C/ezimba17828463596300.png http://i659.photobucket.com/albums/uu311/FrozenFur/JackandSally.png http://oi42.tinypic.com/2a4v8dl.jpg http://myartandpics.weebly.com/uploads/1/6/7/7/16771260/5627697_orig.png?679 http://i43.tinypic.com/241jyqb.png http://oi40.tinypic.com/2lswikj.jpg http://fc08.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2013/245/d/d/the_birth_of_levia_by_uchawiwild-d6ksof8.png http://fc04.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2013/247/9/0/for_elusiveeeeeeee_by_shadepetal-d6l1xom.png http://fc00.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2013/265/3/a/lion_wolf_oc_by_sadestar-d6ncf1q.jpg http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2013/249/c/b/because_elusive_is_da_best_by_shadepetal-d6laoqt.png http://fc09.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2013/251/f/6/levia_and_aivel_by_sirramolica-d6llaro.png http://i44.tinypic.com/mw5r20_th.png http://oi43.tinypic.com/642uc6.jpg http://oi39.tinypic.com/kbd4ph.jpg http://i45.tinypic.com/15mk8wl.png http://img713.imageshack.us/img713/2817/94tm.png http://i843.photobucket.com/albums/zz360/xBadgerclaw/mousexD.png http://oi39.tinypic.com/vy3wrc.jpg http://oi41.tinypic.com/2vcixhx.jpg http://oi40.tinypic.com/t0qf7c.jpg http://oi40.tinypic.com/do9zs8.jpg http://oi43.tinypic.com/24dlzs9.jpg http://muzy-ci.s3.amazonaws.com/317eb178f5ee8a72f6580d00c24ef886.png http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PyfinUZk8Ps http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XklgGFfHMF0 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FkUPDXRZbAE http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sd4bqmP_460 I hope those links made you smile and remember a time that once was c: I set this letter to arrive on my 18th birthday. At that point, I should be old enough to understand that I am not alone. Even now, at 15 years old, I know that but often forget. Stay strong, Alia <3 There is light at the end of your rainbow.