Dear Blank Please Blank

Dear FutureMe, Please enjoy these. sincerely, past you. Dear J.K. Rowling, Your books are entirely unrealistic. I mean, a ginger kid with two friends? Sincerely, anonymous. Dear 6, Please stop spreading rumors about me eating 9. You shouldn't be talking. I hear you guys do some pretty nasty things. Sincerely, 7 Dear Noah, We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5. Sincerely, Unicorns Dear Voldemort, So they screwed up your nose too? Sincerely, Michael Jackson Dear 2010, So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?! Sincerely, 1985 Dear person who linked me to this site, Please never send me a link again. I have responsibilities and absolutely no willpower. Sincerely, I just broke the addiction to MLIA, dangit! Dear Nazis, You did what?!?! I said I hate JUICE! Sincerely, Hitler Dear World, Religion is like a penis. It's fine to have one and it's fine to be proud of it, but please don't whip it out in public and start waving it around... and PLEASE don't try to shove it down my child's throat. Sincerely, tired of hearing your religious guff Dear Men, The first jockstrap was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. It took 100 years for you to realize that the brain is also important. Sincerely, Oh that's why you need me to make your sandwich Dear Sirius Black, What's your middle name? Sincerely, I hope it's Lee Dear Fork, I understand that we haven't spoken since I ran away with dish, but I thought you should know that you have a son. His name is spork. He has your hair. Sincerely, Spoon Dear parents, Jasmine was in a relationship with a dirty homeless boy named Aladdin. Snow White lived alone with 7 men. Pinnochio was a liar. Robin Hood was a thief. Tarzan walked around without clothes on. A stranger kissed sleeping beauty and she married him. Cinderella lied and snuck out at night to attend a party. Sincerely, it's not our fault, it's how you raised us Dear Santa, You watch them sleep too? Sincerely, Edward Dear Noah, It's ok, we caught the train to Hogwarts instead. Sincerely, Unicorns and Dragons