a long, thoughtful, and utterly pointless email about you and american culture.

Dear FutureMe, It's a mere 3 days since you've finished the last book in the Harry Potter series, Deathly Hallows. It was as good as you'd hoped, even though the Harry = Horcrux thing kind of irritated you. How many times have you read it by now? Probably at least 7, because you are just that nerdy. It's sad, though, that the era has ended. Those books have been an essential part of my current life and my growth as a person, so it's weird that it's over. The presidential debate is getting kind of intense already, and it's only July of 2007. I'm already looking forward to November of next year so that everyone will shut up about it, although if Hillary Clinton wins, I'm going to fulfill my promise to move out of the country. You know that dream you had, self, of going to Europe for a semester? Did you actually do it? And if so, did it end up being to Italy or Britain like you thought, or was it someplace else? Hey, maybe you can actually speak a language now, not just some pathetic fragments of Spanish and Italian! Or maybe you're just so good at the English language that you don't bother with trivial nonsense like being bilingual. Oh, self, I hope you aren't still this ridiculous in the future. Or maybe I don't hope that, it might take the fun out of life. As I write this, however, I am thinking about what my chosen college has in store for me. Will I meet my future husband there? Have you already? Will this sad cycle of boyfriendlessness finally end? Yeah, I know boyfriendlessness is definitely NOT a word. Hopefully, now that you're (probably) an English major, you've stopped making up odd words, or at least made them less hideously long. Your imagination is a weird place. Your past self is writing this at work, and listening to "I Pretend to Choke" by the long disbanded twothirtyeight. The sound waves are bouncing up against each other, reverberating, soaring to my ears and making me feel slightly sad. Time is a funny thing, isn't it? You think that a date is so far away, but then suddenly, it's upon you faster than you would ever think it could be...........like right now. I'll bet you're wondering what it'll be like to finally be 21, after all that waiting. Less than two months to go, futureme. Then you'll be going to Vegas with the trio - that's the plan, anyway. I hope I haven't turned into one of those college students who lives to party and parties to live. If you are, please end it now and get your butt in gear, stupid. Just because you're going to a university doesn't mean that you have to turn into a moral-abandoning slut. But I don't think you could be that way if you tried - you're a really good person. Maybe a little bit too good.