me & you

dear andy, today is december 19th of 2005. i thought i'd send you this email to tell you about whats going on in our lives right now. you are currently in afghanistan and hopefully due to come home early around the first of january. i cant wait to see you baby. its been a long 8 months so far and i cant imagine it being longer than what it has already been. i have gone through so much so far during this deployment and have learned so many things about myself, our relationship, and you. my eyes have opened up to a whole new world and i have truly realized that i love you so much. i love you dearly andy. you are the most special thing i have in my life and you always will be. i couldnt imagine my life any other way than without you in it. when you first left for the desert i thought this whole deployment would be a piece of cake. but soon after, and im talking about hours, the lonliness started to settle in. not having you here absolutely killed me. my other half was missing and there was nothing i could do about it. my heart was truly broken. then came the first phone call i got from you. even though we got cut off after the first 5 minutes i was so happy to hear your voice. i probably cried for an hour replaying the conversation in my head over and over. this deployment has truly tested our relationship and i think after its all said and done we will both be stronger because of it. not many people around the world can say that they had to be away from their newly wed spouse for alomost a year only after getting married and being seperated for 7 months already and only getting to really spend 3 months together. but, we did it and we have survived probably the hardest deployment we have each gone through because it was our first and we really didnt know what to expect out of it. i have never been so patriotic in my life until you joined the ARMY andy. i am so proud to be an ARMY wife and proud to say that my husband defends our country's freedom. whatever happens with you career in the military i will always hold my head high knowing that i am one of the few women that can actually "survive" being married to a soldier. i saw many women fall and not live up to this but i know that i did and im proud i got through it. of course, i hope the next 60 or more years that we are married will be easier but if not, im up for the challenge. i feel as if i can do anything wit you. you give me the support that i really need at times. you boost my confidence. you are there not only as my husband but as my best friend as well and i thank you for that. i can't wait to see where our lives take us in the future. right now, im imagining us starting a family in about 2-3 more years and raising our children like we have talked about before. with a great father and a wonderful mother. giving them everything we always wanted and more. exposing them to music and nature and allowing them to be free spirits and express themselves. to know good morals and be good little people. i cant wait. i could never see myself having wonderful children with any other person other than you. you are my perfect match and i wouldnt change a thing with us. i have no doubt that when this email reaches you in the future that we will have accomplished some of our goals that we have for our lives. we will be happily married and older and wiser than we are now. i love you so much andy and am so happy i get to spend the rest of my life with you. love always and forever, lauren