Future me!!!!1 Do you remember this...??

Dear FutureMe, Happy Birthday, future me!!! You are 29 years old today, and I am sitting here, 18 going on 19 in Febuary 2010, in my messy purple room with my Publix uniform still on, writing an email to you!!! Hmmm... I'm sitting on my bed, and I just got finished watching Psychic Kids. Do you remember that show? How are you? Where are you? Who are you with? Hrm. Well... Hmmm. I have to remind myself to keep my email address for this purpose... it will be really cool. It will be like an alternate 19 year old version of me, somewhere, in all the intricate intertwining alternate universes, emailing this to my 29 year old self. It really isn't that way but it is nice science fiction. I wonder how my views will have changed in 10 years? Will I be in Europe? Will I have a family? Will I have found someone to be with for the rest of my life? Will I be happy? Will my artistic endeavors have become successful? Will I be opening galleries in New York City? ...and in Italy? I wonder how my parents will be in 10 years. Where will they be? Where will my sisters be? Will these questions be hard to answer? How will I look in 10 years? Will I remember anything from my high school in Oconee County? My high school friends? I wonder what memories I have now will be lost in 10 years. If only I could write all of them down right now, like a diary entry. Oh geez. Now I am feeling this strange nostalgia for things that just happened and a nervous wonder and curiosity for the things that have yet to happen. And now I'm reading that I can actually purchase a book with tons of these letters to people's selves in them. I wonder... when I read this in 10 years, will I have bought the book after I wrote this? If I'm reading this now in 10 years, will I go back and try to buy it if I hadn't bought it 10 years ago? I think I'll have to buy it. I love to get inside people's minds and know what they're thinking, maybe because I would like to do that with my own mind. But, back to having a discussion with my future self. Right now, as an 18 year old, I am working on my portfolio for SCAD. Do you remember how it all turned out? Right now, at this second, my parents have started a Cigar Shop in Athens. How is that? Is it still existant? What happened to all the people you got to know there? What about David, the part-time assistant that usually came in after 3? What about that guy that mom and dad wanted you to meet, Brendan? Did you ever get to speak with him? Did you ever become friends? Or were your paths never to be crossed? Right now, I am having a lot of internal conflicts and dealing with a lot of confusion in trying to figure out who exactly I am and where I am most comfortable and who my friends are. Will this sound stupid to you? Right now, my favorite names are: Tristan, Brenden, Gabriel, Imogene, and Hayden. Right now, I am trying to avoid my friend Amber. What ever happened to her? You know what? I shouldn't even be reminding you of her. Maybe you've forgotten her long ago, and maybe I'm just bringing back bad memories. What about Sam? Are you still friends with her? Have you been to Appomattox recently? Where are Memaw and Skeeter? Where are mom and dad? Where are Autumn and Adrian? Did you ever get your room cleaned out for college? How did everything turn out? Was SCAD all that you thought it would be and more? Do you remember the time when you were obsessed with Muse and Radiohead? What kind of music do you listen to now? Did you ever get to go to another Muse or Radiohead concert like you wanted? How was the February 27th 2010 Muse concert? How long ago did you listen to either of them? I'd like you to do some research on them, if you have not kept up with them, and see what they are up to. In 10 years, Muse will be in their 40's and Radiohead in their 50's. Maybe wikipedia them, if wikipedia is still around. Haha, do you remember the awful memory of our first concert? How is U2? They will probably be in their 70's for all I know. How many concerts have you been to since then? I don't know... a lot has changed since now and 10 years ago, and I really don't know if we will still have emails 10 years from now, because even more will change in the next 10 years. You know? I don't want this whole email to be a carefully crafted, planned and poetic essay, full of wisdom and all that good stuff. I just want the writing to come naturally, and to flow from my fingertips, not really thinking about what to say. Just sort of rambling. Because I think I will cherish that more, because it is sort of a door into my head. But right at this second, I have Radiohead's song Nude off their In Rainbows album stuck in my head. And I am currently in love with the song All I Need off the same album. And currently, there is nothing I love more than Muse and its members: Matthew Bellamy, Chris Wolstenholme, and Dominic Howard. Right at this second, I am thinking that I am a little over the whole Twilight thing. It has gotten too hyped up and Hollywood for my taste, and the movies are horrible anyway, and Stephenie Meyer is now just a distant voice in cyberspace... Right now, my favorite movie is Slumdog Millionaire, and I have currently contributed about 30$ to seeing Avatar in theatres, which is currently the highest grossing film of all time. Is it still...? If I am reading this on my 29th birthday 10 years from now, I will probably want to write a letter in return to my 18 year old self, wanting her to know all the answers to the questions she asked, all the questions she was never able to figure out until after, just to give her no longer existant 18 year old self some reassurance of the things that happened and how they turned out. And knowing myself, I probably will. 29 year old self, I hope you found what you were looking for, and if you haven't, I hope you are on your way. I hope your life is just beginning. I hope you do what you've always wanted to do. Your 18 year old self feels like her heart weighs a hundred pounds, because your 18 year old self is just so awfully emotional like that. I hope you found someone equally as weird and strange as you are, and if they're not, then I hope they are equally as accepting and tolerant of the weirder side of people. Someone that understands you. I hope they complete your life like you complete theirs. This is waiting for you, in the depths of cyberspace... it will collect the dust of the internet... sitting, waiting... I wonder if it will ever be recovered? I hope this gets to you. There is a gap of 10 years waiting to be filled up. 10 years for you to do what you want. It is all up to you... I could spend a whole day typing into this thing, thinking of things to say... and I think that after I send it, I will have a lot of regrets of what I didn't say and what I forgot to include. But it's something that is done and over with and just has to be dealt with. And there are some memories that are just doomed to be forgotten. Like memories I have now, I won't be able to remember 10 years from now. They will just be stuck in the abyss of my brain, collecting dust wherever they sit, because apparantly we never forget anything, it's just remembering them that is the problem. So everything that I've ever seen, ever felt, heard, tasted... they're all there. But anyway. I guess I will close this email to myself, now... Goodbye, current 18 year old self, because each second of the day, you are a different person, so when you send this email, you will not be the same 18 year old you were when you were writing it. And hello, 29 year old self... This is your 18 year old self speaking....