A birthday message from your younger self

Dear FutureMe, January 27th, 2010 Dear 25-Year-Old Noah, Holy shit. I guess if you’re reading this you are 25 now… That’s like if I got a letter from my 13-year-old self… only different… Anyway, how does it feel? Are you married with a kid, like Dad was at this age? I doubt it, but I wouldn’t be surprised. At 19 you had a bit of a scare- remember that? Carol-Ann was 2 weeks late, and you thought for sure you were going to be a father. You thought she would give the baby away, because that was her plan, but then you worried she would decide to keep it, and you’d end up having to marry her. Then when she took the test and it came back negative, wow, that felt pretty good. Yeah, I bet you remember now! Anyway, here are my hopes for where you’ll be about now, or at least, where your 19-year-old self would like you to be: Above all, I’d like you to be happy and healthy. I hope you take care of yourself, you aren’t an alcoholic or overweight or sick or anything. I hope you’re in good shape, still good-looking, and reasonably unscarred. I hope your scar has faded, and you don’t have that right nostril constantly getting blocked any more. I hope that when you go out late at night you aren’t afraid when someone is walking behind you. I hope you aren’t bored. I hope you are doing something you love. I hope you are still dreaming, still fighting, still living. I hope you remember to breathe. I hope that your voice is powerful, yet effortless. I hope that you aren’t afraid of falling in love, or falling out of it.. I hope you know exactly where you want to be, and that it is right where you are. I hope you love, I hope you don’t hate, and I hope beyond hope that you still hope. If things are hard, know that things will always get better. And if it looks like things couldn’t get any worse, know that that’s the point in the movie when it starts to pour buckets on the bloke that said that. Know that no matter how hard you think you’ve got it, there is ALWAYS someone in the world who wishes they were exactly where you are at that moment. But hopefully things aren’t too hard for you right now. I’m curious as to whether or not you have money. My guess is you’re either well off or hovering around the poverty line. Guess it depends on the choices I make in the next five years or so… I hope you’re in theatre. Whether you are or not might affect whether or not you are on the poverty line, but oh well… I hope you have been productive since leaving theatre school. I think my 20’s will probably be the hardest years in my life. Because when I leave RTS, I really will be on my own I suppose. Hopefully you have some sort of community, hopefully you have lots of contacts, both professional and personal, and hopefully you know that ultimately relationships are the most important things to work on. But hey, for all I know you might not be in theatre any more. But I doubt it. I suppose you could be a teacher, or in film and TV, but I don’t think you’ll ever stop with theatre. I just hope this letter gets to you. I don’t want to die before I’m 25. I hope you’re still alive. And I hope you live another 25 years after this, and maybe even another 25 years after that. Imagine what you’ve done this past quarter century, and imagine what you could do in another one, or two? I have just decided that I will send this to myself on my birthday, so... Happy Birthday! I hope 25 is a great year for you. Gee, I sure am hoping for a lot, aren’t I? The theme of this letter seems to be hope. Well, I sure hope this gets to you, and that you still have this email! I’ll send it to a couple accounts maybe, and hopefully you have one of them… Unless you’re famous or something, and don’t check them because of spam… or the Internet has crashed, but it’s more likely that technology has advanced to the point where email is completely obsolete. Which makes sense, cause I’d say Facebook is already more efficient than email. I wonder if that’s still around, or if Mark Zuckerberg should have taken his 3 billion dollars and run… Anyway, is 2015 good? What’s changed since I was working on Tusenbach in Three Sisters? I hope you got an award while at RTS, and a lead role at some point. I hope you’re a good actor now. I also hope you don’t procrastinate the way I do now. It’s pathetic, sometimes. OK, I am either going to play hockey tonight or go to Ellis’s place to drink with people. Though I have Movement with Kelly tomorrow morning, and I am supposed to bring in some props to work with in Acting. I hope it is fun, whichever one I choose. Maybe I’ll do both. I might just do both, actually… OK, I’m done with this email. Hope you get it, hope it’s good to read it, I didn’t edit it or anything, so don’t judge me for bad structure and grammar! It was all stream-of-consciousness! Your Pal, Noah Spitzer P.S. I also hope you aren’t a stress case!