Dear FutureMe, let me tell you...

I just booked my flight to Madrid to hike the Camino Frances. I have been reflecting on taking this step for a few years and It’s finally going to happen. I leave at the end of august 2025. I have been mentally preparing for this journey and now get to do the preparation and planning portion.

I have spent quite a bit of time reflecting on what this trip will mean to me and have asked myself some in-depth questions. I asked what I hope to experience while on the trip, what I hope I WON’T experience, I what types of relationships I will develop with friends, and what I will be able to let go of?

I do hope to develop friendships along The Way but I also really hope to have some time for myself to clear my mind of burdens I carry. I know I will love being outside every day, walking day after day, and I imagine it will be hard to forget the memories I gain. I hope and pray that my feet and knees will remain strong and though I know my muscles will be fatigued, I hope to be able to be strong enough to endure to the end. I mostly hope to be able to walk the entire way. I fear I won’t have enough time to do so, but I’m praying I do.

I feel like I have spent a lot of my adult years caring for others around me and I hope to be able to dedicate this time to carry myself through the mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual pains of this journey. I know I need this in my life right now.

I planned to do this journey at the same age my grandma was when she walked from San Francisco to Boston, USA. She started when she was 49 years old and finished pproximately a year and a half later. Her purpose was to bring awareness to the AIDS pandemic. My journey will be much more personal. I will be 47 when I start this journey and I do hope to carry part of her adventurous spirit with me, even if it’s for different purposes.

It’s hard to imagine what I could possibly accomplish after this experience in life but I believe it will be a building block for me for whatever I plan to do in the future. Part of me wonders if this is part of the midlife crisis stage of life, but I believe it’s more of a chance to find my new identity outside of motherhood. My 9 children are all grown now. I no longer volunteer in school, I’m no longer president of any booster board, and I no longer drive my kids to school, dentist, or doctors appointments anymore. It’s just my husband, myself, and my 2 dogs. I feel a lot more stillness in my home and it’s a little uncomfortable. I hope to find peace and solace in that stillness. I hope to find joy in it. And I hope I can use that stillness to help support and lift other friends of mine as they enter this new stage as well. Most of my friends still have children at home and their lives are very different than mine. I am trying to be grateful for this phase and hopefully I can find that along my Camino and find out a whole lot more about myself and what my future holds.

Sincerely,
Me