A letter from March 4th, 2018

Dear Me, Currently studying +2 and boards are from March 6th and You very well know my condition, even so trying to take you to the flashback. 2 years ago I started my journey to achieve some bigger goals in life, 6 months passed I progressed supremely and my confidence "Huh! you better not ask!". Then my performance graph started to going downwards, a year passed, I was in the middle of something that I couldn't know clearly. I started to fight every single day to improve me as something continuously pulling me backwards or more specifically towards the darker corners of my brain. I felt like it happens to everyone in their puberty and it is NORMAL,but still, a part of my heart knew exactly whats going on.I was Addicted.A naive lad from average school and educated background started to learn the terms like "Struggle" "reality" and "life(-sucks)".My every attempt to get out this mud was going in vain.Grandma passed on November, I promised that day to make everything right by working my ass out, But life had other plans(actually I made those possible). I pushed in to complete darkness,I couldn't see anything in front of me. But the most horrible thing was I gave up.Addiction took over my soul and left me here, broken and complete shattered, That also Fear-of-failing_in_exam took me out from that black hole where the terms like 'light' never exist. Rebirth- Being naked and hopeless I can't decide what to do. I can't walk and I can't see.I can't speak and can't understand. But I am in my world and I CAN Breath. I will learn these as a new-born and I will RUN, I will draw my destiny, My voice will be loud enough that no one can ignore and hope I will able to understand my work in this materialistic world. Dear future I don't know what I did but hope you can understand me and see whats going on there. I refuse to give up, so you will.You are not alone my friend, let's walk this journey together. Because the higher you get the stronger the wind blows.