A letter from May 28, 2025

hi yaya, it’s me, your 18-year-old self. i’m writing this during summer 2025. life at this point is hectic and messy, but also fun and adventurous. i have to take this math class over the summer, and i just failed a test. our parents got on me for it, but i know i just have to do better next time. i hope you're now taking your last two classes required for your program. if you’re reading this, then we’ve made it and hopefully, we've already signed up for the program. i hope you just enrolled in the program at st. john’s community college. i don’t know what the future looks like from where i’m sitting right now, but i really hope it’s become something we’re proud of. i broke up with caleb after a year together, in April. i’m currently talking to nas, but even that is so freaking messy. he toys with my feelings. he’s immature and lacks empathy for anyone. he only cares about himself. i wonder what your relationships look like now. do you still think about caleb? because i still do. i hate how much i miss him sometimes. does it still hurt? or did that part of you finally get to heal? and nas… where do you stand with him now? did things ever work out? i always hoped something real could come from it. right now, i mostly hang out with our friend group: Mae, twon, and nas — but nas has been acting weird, so really it's just us three. i just started talking to josh again and became friends with Zoey. Aimee and Juliana are still in our lives. me and Aimee talk almost every day. me and Mae hang out almost every day. she makes me feel loved and wanted. sometimes she has her moments where she shuts out the world, but we always seem to stay connected. i love all of my friends, and this transition into summer has had a good start overall. are you still surrounded by people who make you feel safe and loved? are you still friends with the people i mentioned? have new people come into your life? i hope your friends are still cherishing you. i hope you all still hang out when you’re free. i have a job at Victoria’s secret — one of our favorite stores! i just started a week ago, and i’m already overwhelmed. me, kiana, and myiha had so much to learn in just two days. my official first day is June 1st, and i’m so nervous. do you still work at vs? or are you somewhere else now? did aimee help you find a new job? i hope you made lots of money at vs and that you had nothing but good experiences there. i hope the customers and coworkers were kind to you. and if you’re working somewhere new now, i hope that job is treating you even better. are you happy? like truly happy. do you feel proud of the person you’ve become? are you closer to the version of yourself you’ve always dreamed of being? i don’t know what you’ve had to face since writing this. i know life doesn’t always go how we planned, and maybe things are messy or painful or beautiful in ways we never saw coming. but no matter where you are, i want you to know that i’m proud of you. for growing. for healing. for not giving up, even when it felt like you could. i love you. i believe in you. i’m rooting for you in all the ways that matter. your past self is so happy for you, for every step forward you’ve taken, even the small ones. especially the small ones. always keep going. please keep choosing yourself. p.s. did we ever get a car?? the honda or toyota we wanted… or nah?? love, you