A letter from Nov 12, 2024

Dear me, I hope you got into that college you wanted to go to. I know right now we don’t think it means anything, or maybe I do. I want to know how you are, are you excited for Christmas? How was your birthday. I know we stopped being so fond of those things. Sorry to remind you, did you meet anyone new? Someone you like? Keep in touch with anyone from your old school? What about your best friend. Your 4lifer. Your homegirl. Or did you get fed up of her sooner than I thought and that’s it? I’m interested, I want to meet new people. We need to meet new people. I’m sick of everyone here, I need someone better to help me through this. I’m in the middle of mock exams. Three more days until I’m done. I don’t think I really tried my best in them like I said I would. I got sick of it all after just a week. It’s already hard with all my exams being at 8:45. This week at least. Two exams per day, tomorrow I have Spanish and Maths. My Maths tutor came on Monday, I couldn’t stop tearing up in front of him. He didn’t ask any questions, I just wanted him gone. I cried when I found out he’s coming. We cried. And a different day, yesterday or before yesterday probably. We cut ourselves, we harmed ourselves for what. Cause we didn’t feel right, and I was getting sick of being so upset. I talked with Pixel, you remember him right? I hope you still talk with him. He’s helped me a lot so far. What about Brazil? Did he ever reply or just move on from us? Meet anyone else interesting? I know I have. Unfortunately. How are things with our family? It’s a little rocky right now. Dad is finally starting to talk with me more, it’s the most he ever did to me in a few months now. My mum thinks I’m stealing alcohol from her. I am. But what am I supposed to do when I fall into bad habits, I started vaping like about a year ago and more. I’m finally quitting. I hope life is treating you alright, If you’re not dead in a ditch. You might be. Never know if it’s your last day alive today or tomorrow. Just be grateful you’re still here, anything could happen. Hey, I love you though. I hope you managed to make it further than I have in these last 15 years.