A letter from May 28, 2024

Dear Caroline, Hi Caroline, I'm Caroline. I'm 16, a sophomore, and I'm talking to a guy who I think likes me, but I'm not entirely sure yet. You should know all of this, as we are the same person, but I want to ensure we are on the same page before proceeding. I don't know what our life will be like when we graduate. If I had to guess, we would go to a college that we like and don't love, and we would be very depressed because we were all grown up and leaving Ben and Eleanor behind. I agree, that is all very, very sad. I've also cried over leaving Ben and Eleanor, and I still have two years, but you must agree that they are annoying. We did a scavenger hunt today, and Ben would not stop narrating his every thought and action like he was some aggravating protagonist! On top of that, Eleanor stole and used our conditioner, meaning I have to spend $30 more of our parent's money! Plus, my life is filled with an unknown anxiety right now. I'm hopelessly crushing on a guy who probably doesn't even know I like him. Have we been talking? Yes, but we haven't talked in person yet, and the thought of doing so freaks me out. I'm not very smooth, and I do this weird thing where I'm so ******* ugly, so there isn't much going for me right now. I hope I have the courage to see this through, rejection or not. I feel like it would be a good lesson. But I know how this will go: I'll block him, ghost him, whatever. He won't know what he did(n't) do wrong. I truly hope I at least get some play before college. If I'm still a complete virgin by graduation, please have a slutty summer. We deserve it. I don't know what my future holds, but I know what I want to happen. When I'm 18, I'll be skinny, intelligent, and hopefully have been loved enough by someone so I stop writing sad poetry. If neither of those three things happens, I guess a lot more learning and acceptance is in store for me. I just want you to know that I am proud of you and that you will travel far with whatever path you take. Love you! From, Caroline 2024