A letter from Dec 01, 2022

Life at 17 is hard to manage. I hope it's gotten easier now that you're 20..! Sadly I don't know why but it's not as easy to take charge as I wish. Maybe it's me, or maybe it's my hormones, my workload, but it's just weird. I know the pressure of work gets to me at worst, but I'm still alive so that's one thing. It's still difficult, but I'm trying to stay up and running. I hope my outlook has changed for the better, I hope I can handle things better. I'm not blaming myself for all this, I know I'm doing **** well just for bending and not breaking, and letting myself cry, comforting myself as I cry, counting my rest time as progress, providing for myself for things I need, for helping myself to get up. People might not appreciate it, or stay hidden from their eyes, but being present and there means that I'm doing my best to be there, and that counts for something. Idk why I'm sending these things again, I kinda find them corny now tbh but whatever! Lol.