A letter from Jun 07, 2022

Dear FutureMe, hello, anne of the future this is your 18-year-old self writing. I just passed my entrance exams at wvsu!. I hope you went to college there. This time, you might have graduated and maybe pursuing medicine because that's my dream. I wrote a letter just like this too, I was 15 back then, it was addressed to my 25 year old self. You're 23 now hope you are in a better disposition in life. I really hope you are in medschool, but if not that's okay life is wonderful live in the moment. I'm 18 right now and it's scary how time have passed. I'm letting you know that I regret not enjoying my highschool life. Wish I got out more often to socialize and flirted lol. I hope now you're not regretting again because you did not enjoy college. I'm entering it now, I vow that I'll enjoy it. I'll join clubs, orgs, writing competitions, and be a leader, though at the back of my mind there is a reminder not to overdo it? coz I might be too cocky or what. If you're reading this and happened to be having depression or your life is just chaotic use this letter as a reminder that life isn't supposed to be perfect, you're not supposed to be successful, well at least superficially, (traveling around the world, have a car, have a huge house, glowed up, etc.) Life is meant to be enjoyed so take pictures, have fun and be crazy, because youth is not going back once spent. You were 13 when you first got acne, remember that?. It was horrible I know because I still suffer the repercussions of it. I still have severe social anxiety though not officially diagnosed yet ( I'm still saving up for it). I occasionally get depressive episodes especially when I look at myself in the mirror, when people stare disgustingly, or when people say awful things about my face these are the hardest because I can't just shrug it off. Words leave wounds and eventually scars that are permanent. Awful words fuel my feeling of inadequacy and low self-esteem. However, my mindset now is different(your 18 year old self), I have come to terms with my acne. It's a part of me I cannot control, my hormones fluctuate and rise involuntarily. I now understand that I could not do anything about it, therefore I just need to face the world with this face. I belong here, whether other people will like it or not I have a space in this universe. No matter how painful their words might be, I'll just cry about it and be okay afterward. So if you're in a dark moment now reflect and recite to yourself this phrase in your fave poem desiderata, "Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here." So world here I come, I am imperfect, I have vulnerabilities, insecure, and flawed. I deserve to be here no one can tell me otherwise. Wherever you are now and whatever job you have just know that I'm so proud of you. In case you're in med school, fight for that dream! Those are valid and please kun lutang ka man gyapon asta subong snap out of it, basi makapatay ka pasyente😭 chos.